Arranged
by you.just.got.STORMed
Summary: Kel discovers that she is, and has been for a long time, betrothed. To who? She has no idea. It turns out that the man she is to marry isn't as happy as she could be. Kel/Dom pairing. **DISCONTINUED**
1. Ch 1: Betrothed?

**_A/N: *looks guilty* No of course I'm not writing another story... of course not... why would I be that mean?_**

**_FINE! I am. I thought of this plot while lying in bed on holidays... Hope you like :D Slight OOCness, not too bad... I don't THINK. Facts probably aren't too accurate, haven't read the books in a long time._**

**_Set after Lady Knight, Kel has come back from New Hope and is spending some time at the palace... (Neal and Yuki are married, obviously)_**

**Secrets I Should Have Known: Chapter One: ... How is this possible?!?!?!!**

"Lady Keladry!" the small messenger boy called, trying in vain to get the lady's attention. "Lady Keladry!"

Neal tripped backwards and fell. Kel triumphantly stabbed her practise sword towards his neck. "I win," she said, her tone satisfied.

Neal rolled his eyes. "Yeah... maybe only for the... FIFTH time? Are you done using me as a practise dummy yet?"

"It seems I am," Kel replied, gesturing to the messenger, grinning. "Thanks, Neal."

She walked towards the messenger, leaving her sweat-coated opponent sitting on the ground, mumbling violent curses.

"Message for you," the boy informed her respectfully. "Lady Ilane wants you in her palace rooms. She said to come at once."

_Come at once?_ Kel thought in confusion. _What could have happened for her to want me... at once?_

Her mother had arrived at the palace in the early morning and taken up rooms near Kel in the palace. Kel's father was taking care of accounts at Mindelan.

"Lady Keladry?" the messenger asked.

"Oh!" Kel jumped slightly. "Ah. Yes. Thankyou."

She rummaged in her pockets and absent-mindedly handed the small boy a gold coin. The boy grinned, grabbing the coin eagerly, and went running away.

"Bye Neal!" Kel yelled, beginning to jog up the large hill to the palace. "Thanks!"

The dusty knight, still lying on the ground, merely groaned in response.

* * *

Kel was turning the corner into the corridor of her rooms when she crashed into a warm object. "Sorry!" she apologised quickly, horrified. "I wasn't looking..."

She looked up at the face to see familiar, sapphire-blue eyes.

"Hi, Kel," Dom flashed his teeth in a very white smile.

Kel felt the familiar sensation of her heart speeding up slightly, much to her embarrassment. A mature knight, having a covent girl's crush. How ridiculous. "Hey, Dom," she replied, grinning back at him, trying her best to seem casual and unaffected..

"I haven't seen you in ages," Dom commented lightly. "Hey, why don't we go riding or something after lunch?"

"Sure," Kel agreed hastily. "Sorry, Dom, I have to go see my mother... I'll meet you after lunch?"

Dom nodded. "See you then, Kel."

* * *

"Hello, mama," Kel greeted her mother, smiling. "What causes you to call me urgently?'

Her mother kissed her on her cheek, her expression carefully controlled, and gestured for Kel to sit down in a chair. Kel did so, watching her mother expectantly. Ilane sat in a chair opposite Kel, a small, delicate table seperating them.

"Have some tea," Lady Ilane poured out some Yamani green tea into a small, delicate cup. Kel accepted gratefully. Fencing with Neal might not have been a great challenge, but it still made her thirsty.

"Thanks," Kel sipped the cup and looked back up at her mother. "What did you call me for?"

"Kel... I have... news," her mother paused, the Yamani training that all the Mindelans had had causing her to show no emotion.

"News?" Kel repeated, puzzled. "What kind of news?"

Her mother rested her chin in her hands, staring at her daughter with an expression horribly like concern. Kel swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. What had happened?

"Kel... when you were a baby, we didn't expect you to want... this," her mother gestured vaguely. "Knighthood, I mean."

Kel didn't see where this was going. "Yeah..." she responded uncertainly.

Ilane of Mindelan took a deep breath, and to Kel's complete shock, closed her eyes.

_It must be something terrible..._ Kel thought wildly. Her mother rarely showed sadness or pain.

"Please, mama, just tell me," she begged urgently.

"Kel... you're betrothed." Ilane opened her eyes.

Whatever Kel had expected, this certainly was not it.

The delicate Yamani teacup hit the ground and shattered. The clatter echoed around the silent room.

Neither of the two women even looked down.

"Betrothed?" Kel whispered, her mouth barely moving. "How... why?"

Outside, her face was smooth.

Inside, her world had come crashing down.

_Betrothed... who? ... this means... children... giving up being a knight... whoever he is won't approve of me being a knight... I don't get a choice of who I marry..._

And in her mind's eye, a picture of Dom flashed, before she quelled it swiftly.

"I'm so sorry, darling," Ilane murmured, her face pained. "So sorry... but we didn't realise..."

"Who?" Kel croaked, her voice hoarse with shock.

"I can't tell you," Ilane replied sadly. "When you were but a baby, and we were living in the Yamanis, a... family approached us. They wanted to betroth their youngest son to you, as of course we were fairly well off and a respected family. We agreed, thinking that it would be for the best."

Kel licked her dry lips, feeling oddly sick. How could this happen to her? "Continue," she whispered.

"We heard from the family only once more. They sent a pleased letter, thanking us for agreeing to the betrothment. They promised that we would forever have good relations... We didn't hear from them ever again. When you wanted to become a knight, we agreed, because we thought that they had broken off the agreement without telling us. But today..." she paused faintly, her voice trembling ever so slightly. "Today, I recieved a letter from the lord and lady of the family. They stated that as you were now nineteen, you should now be ready to be married to their son. There were no comments about you being a knight, nothing of that kind, nothing but informing us that we should expect to see you married before next Midwinter."

There was a long silence.

"Kel?" Ilane asked finally, her Yamani composture once again regained.

"Yes... I just, I just need to think... when can you tell me who it is?" Kel asked, running a visibly shaking hand through her sweaty hair.

"I don't know," Ilane replied. She was seriously worried about Kel- she had never seen her daughter this upset before. "Darling, are you-"

"Mama, I need to go and think," Kel interrupted, standing up in one swift movement. "I'll... I'll see you later."

She practically ran out of the room, the door slamming shut behind her.

Ilane stared at the closed door, anxiety wracking her.

* * *

Neal hummed an absent minded tune as he strolled through the corridors to his and Yuki's rooms. He was looking forward to dinner that night, apparantly there would be roast potatoes and beef...

He entered the passageway in which Yuki and his rooms were and stopped abruptly.

A shaking figure fumbled with a key, jiggling it up and down ferociously in a door lock. "Open... just open!!" the figure was chanting feverishly.

Shock took over Neal. He had never, ever seen his best friend in such a state. "Kel, what's wrong?" he asked gently, walking up behind her and placing a soft hand on her shoulder.

Kel looked up, startled. Amongst her stress at trying to get into her room, she hadn't heard him coming. "N-nothing, Neal. I'm fine. Just... tired."

Neal gently took her hand off the doorknob and unlocked the door to her room. Opening the door, he pushed her lightly inside, and shut it firmly behind him.

He turned around to find that she had sat wearily on the bed, her face a pool of emotions.

"Kel," he repeated. "What's wrong? Please. Tell me the truth."

Kel shook her head. She didn't want Neal knowing her... situation, and she certainly didn't want anyone else- namely his wife, Yuki and his cousin, Dom, knowing either.

"Please, Neal," she managed. "Just... go. I'm fine. I just need to be alone."

If there was one thing Neal didn't lack, it was persistance. "I'm not leaving you, Kel. Not while you're like this."

She tried to smile at him, but failed dismally. "See? I'm fine!" she told him firmly.

Neal snorted faintly. "Yeah... I can tell."

"Please," Kel begged. "Go. I... can't tell you now. I... I promise that I'll tell you when I can."

_As if I'll have a choice whether to tell him or not. It's going to be pretty obvious what's wrong when my engagement is announced,_ Kel thought bitterly.

Neal eyed her suspiciously, but nodded his reluctant consent. "Alright. Kel- it'll be fine."

He left with a comforting squeeze to her shoulder, leaving the lady knight with gratitude for having such a friend, but mainly with horror at her engagement- to someone she didn't even know.

**_A/N: Muahahaha. first chapter :) Annnnngsty.... LOL! okay... sorry... kinda hypo right now.._**

**_Anyway, review and you shall have my eternal gratitude as well as you will HOPEFULLY get a chapter soon._**


	2. Ch 2: Vegetables

**_A/N: So sorry guys!! The wait has been incredible, but now that it is holidays and Christmas is over, I should have more writing time!!_**

**_I want to thank you all so much for the AWESOME INCREDIBLE reviews. They're a great encouragement :D_**

**_So, chapter 2. Short but kinda sweet!!_**

**_December... Jesus is the reason for the season :)_**

**Chapter Two: Vegetables**

When lunchtime came, it was all Kel could do to put on an impassive mask and head down to lunch.

With a horrified jolt, she remembered that she had promised to go riding with Dom after lunch.

_How I am I going to hide my emotions for that long? _She wondered, worried. _I can barely contain them now. Maybe I should cancel._

But, squaring her shoulders, she determined not to. She _would_ go riding with her friend, and perhaps this would distract her.

At lunch, Kel sat next to Neal, managing to fill her mouth full every time a conversation opportunity came up. Dom sat on her other side, the warmth of his leg pressing against her only making her remember her earlier thoughts about him.

She chewed a particually tough piece of meat firmly, shoving the threat of her... she gulped slightly... _engagement_ out of her mind.

"Are you okay, Kel?" Dom asked suddenly, watching her closely. "You kind of swallowed really... loudly."

"Um, yeah," Kel responded. "It was just a big bit of... stuff."

Neal would have found the situation funny if he hadn't seen the state that Kel had been in before. Kel could feel his concerned eyes on her and she concentrated wholly on keeping her mask on.

Kel reminded herself to thank Neal later, as he successfully took the attention off Kel by eyeing Dom's lunch with exaggerated disgust.

"Eugh. I can't believe you _eat_ those things," Neal waved his fork at Dom's pile of vegetables. "Seriously. They're so _green_ and _gross _and..."

Dom raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you supposed to be the healer, dear cousin Meathead? If you actually were a _decent _healer, you would realise that vegetables are good for you."

"Are you calling me a bad healer?" Neal demanded, his indignation real. "Rethink your harsh words, cousin!"

Dom continued, ignoring Neal. "No wonder you always almost drop your sword when you pick it up. You're rotting away from lack of vegetables. Your strength, which was already lacking, is becoming non-existant because you don't eat your vegetables. That's why you always-" at this, he sent a sly and wicked look at Kel, "get beaten by our darling Protector. You're weak!"

Kel had to snicker at the ridiculous expression on Neal's face and Dom's superior words.

"So only weaklings who don't eat their vegetables can beat me, can they?" Kel lifted her eyebrows at Dom, who instantly cringed.

"No, I didn't mean that you were _bad_ at fighting, I just meant..." he trailed off hopelessly. "Uh..."

Neal smiled with full satisfaction- his plan of distracting Kel to laughter was working. Working well, in fact.

He took the opportunity to use Kel's argument against Dom. "But since, Domitan, you eat your vegetables, shouldn't you be strong and skillfull? I propose a duel between the Lady Knight and the measly sergeant of the King's Own."

Dom shook his head wildly. "No, no, no, I'm busy this afternoon... I... ah... am seeing a lady after lunch! We're going riding together!"

Neal smirked slyly. "Riding what?"

Kel masked her blush well- of course, she was the 'lady' that Dom was going riding with.

"I think," Dom announced haughtily, "That I and my riding companion will leave the Meathead now. Come on, Kel."

Shaking with laughter, Neal lifted a hand as they left. "Have fun!" he shouted. Several heads turned in his direction.

Kel followed Dom, still laughing at Neal.

Once out on the grass near the stables, Dom allowed a grin to fill his face. "What a Meathead."

* * *

Returning to her rooms that night, Kel was grateful that she had decided to go riding with Dom. It had taken her mind off everything- mostly.

Several times, when they weren't talking or laughing, everything had come crashing back down on her again.

And sometimes, when Dom's teeth flashed in his usual perfect smile at her, her wants and wishes had come back too.

And now, in the silence and loneliness of her own room, everything came back again.

She was getting _married_.

Before next Midwinter.

How much time exactly did that leave? Kel wondered.

With a jolt, she realised, not much.

The festive season for Midwinter _this_ year was just about to start in a couple of days.

That meant, next year, or perhaps sooner, she would be married.

Kel passed a hand over her aching forehead. What if the man was a conservative and wouldn't let her stay a knight?

Worse, what if the man was one of her _friends_, like Merric or Faleron?

To some, it would appear better if it was one of her friends.

But Kel knew that it would be simply awkward.

Although she knew them, she also knew that they were like any other men- they liked pretty, slim, court ladies who wore dresses and did embroidery.

And she also knew that they would probably find the thought of marrying her- and doing everything that marriage mostly involved with her- disgusting.

She couldn't say that she found the thought particually attractive, either.

And what if, because it was one of her friends, they let her keep her knighthood, but she was put in command over them?

It would, obviously, be a massive blow to them that their _wife, _let alone any female, was commanding them.

And what if it was one of her page enemies? Quinden, or Zahir? How could she bear that?

Kel made herself stop thinking. It wasn't doing her any good, and besides, she thought, almost bitterly, with any kind of luck she would find out tomorrow or the next day who she had to marry.

_Smooth, calm, rock. I am a smooth, calm, unfeeling, hard rock._

Even so, it took her some time to get to sleep that night.

* * *

Kel went to breakfast as usual the next morning; her outlook on that day was that it did no good to sit around imagining all the awful possibilities- one just had to get on with life and hopefully be distracted from the problem.

It was with this motto that she practised hitting a small, swaying target with her lance from Peachblossom's back.

She didn't miss once.

Before lunch, Neal decided that he was going to set up a sparring duel between Kel and Dom, and so he sent a poor, scared page to go get them both from whatever they were doing- the message titling that it was 'important'.

When Kel and Dom arrived at the practise courts where Neal had told them to meet, Neal was wearing a huge grin and carrying Kel's favourite practise sword.

"Here we are, my dear Lady Knight," he handed the sword firmly to Kel, who by now had guessed what he was up to. "Now we shall see whether vegetables allow Domitan to beat the one and only Lady Knight!"

Dom stared at his cousin, an expression of extreme disbelief and horror on his face. "What! I need time to prepare my coffin before I _die._ And I would prefer to die nobly in battle rather than by the hand of the Protector!"

Neal rubbed his hands together with glee as Kel smiled with amusement at them both.

"Don't worry, Dom, I won't _kill_ you," she promised, mock-serious. "I won't even scratch you. That is, as long as you don't harm _me_."

"I'm not even likely to get my sword close," Dom muttered ruefully as he selected a wooden sword of his choice. "Fine, fine. I'll pay you back for this humiliation one day, Meathead..."

Dom's swordmanship completely lived up to Kel's expectations. He was definitely as good as her, and Kel privately suspected that he was better. His strength and experience also made him an excellent fighter.

Kel managed to win only through sheer luck, she was sure. After a long while of fighting, Kel blocked one of Dom's hits to her lower stomach and managed to flick his sword back so that he stumbled slightly. In a flash, her sword was held to his throat and they both grinned, Dom dropping his sword with submission.

"I'm beat, Kel," Dom informed her, eyes twinkling. "No more, I beg of you."

"YOU'RE WEAK EVEN WITH YOUR VEGETABLES!!" Neal shouted from the sidelines, jumping up and down like a child. "HA! I KNEW IT!"

Kel laughed as she wiped sweat from her brow. "Typical Meathead. But seriously, you're good, Dom."

He smiled slightly. "You're better."

Kel was in the middle of shaking her head when a tall, chunky man entered the practise courts.

Dom blinked in surprise. "Lachlan. I wonder what my mother wants."

He strode over to the man, whom Kel decided to assume was Lachlan. Lachlan was now standing next to Neal. Kel walked over, too.

"A message from your mother, Domitan," Lachlan handed Dom a neatly folded and sealed letter.

"From mother?" Dom's expression was curious, he eyed the letter in a puzzled manner as he took it from Lachlan. "How is she?"

"The lady of Masbolle is well," Lachlan responded, his voice suddenly, oddly, flat.

Dom looked at him keenly. "What's wrong?"

Lachlan glanced at the ground awkwardly. "I accidentally overheard some things, sergeant Dom, and I'm afraid you won't like the news."

"What news?" Neal cut in, his eyes alight with curiousity.

Dom rolled his eyes. "Trust you, Meathead. Thankyou Lachlan, you can go now."

Lachlan was walking out of the courts when he stopped, remembering. "The lady says also to remind you that she is coming to the palace for Midwinter, and she expects you to be ready and have the... news accepted by then."

Nodding, Dom thanked him again and staring at the letter for a few moments, his brow furrowed, shrugged.

"How bad can it be?" he asked Neal and Kel rhetorically, sliding his finger under the seal and ripping the letter open. "Go away, Meathead, I want to read it myself first."

Neal, who had been leaning over Dom's shoulder expectantly, scowled and stepped away.

Dom's eyes skimmed the letter, and to Kel's concern, his face went slowly white.

"Are you okay, Dom?" she asked, honestly worried.

When he finally replied, Dom's voice was almost cold. "No. I think you'd better go, Kel."

Confusion mixed with intense, scarring hurt filled Kel as she stared at Dom uncomprehendingly.

Neal's perceptive green eyes flickered between the two, his face puzzled as well.

He tried to save some hurt.

"Um... Kel, how about you go get some water? You look hot." Neal practically grabbed Kel's elbow and led her towards the exit, returning to Dom as soon as she left, striding across the grass.

"That was rude and uncalled for, Dom," Neal said seriously, almost angrily. "What's wrong with you?"

His cousin's agonised blue eyes met his. "You have no idea, Neal. My life has just been ruined."

* * *

Kel fought back hurt as she returned to the palace.

What had gone wrong?

A moment before, she and Dom had been joking and laughing together.

A moment later, Dom was cold and distant, telling her to leave.

She made herself force away the memory, instead concentrating on unlocking the door of her room, and gulping down some cold water from an old waterskin.

The door pushed open almost silently and Ilane walked in.

"Mama," Kel said, taken by surprise. "How are you?"

Ilane's smile to her daughter was gentle. "I'm fine, dear. But I think you'd better sit down."

Realisation filled Kel- her mother was going to tell her.

Tell her who she was forced to marry.

Kel sat on her bed heavily, unease, trepidation and fear clouding her mind. "Who?" she asked, her upper teeth biting down onto her lower lip firmly.

Her mother sighed. "I got the message just now that the lady had informed her own son of the situation, so I could tell you."

A picture of Dom, his face white, holding the letter, flickered in Kel's mind.

_No..._

She closed her eyes, forcing herself to breathe properly and slowly.

"Your betrothed," Ilane said quietly, apologetically, "is Domitan of Masbolle."

Kel's world came crashing down around her.

**_AN: Ha. Sorry. Just had to leave it there...!_**


	3. Ch 3: Hurt

**_AN: Back again with Chapter 4 :D_**

**_AND- this IS important: the letter that Dom got DID in fact say who he was betrothed to- Kel. So he knows. And his life is still ruined because he knows. lol. _**

**Chapter 4: Hurt**

It had taken some convincing, but Ilane had finally left Kel alone in her room.

Despair settled upon her.

_Dom. _She was betrothed to Dom.

It wasn't the fact that it was Dom that bothered her- actually, who was she kidding, of course it was.

Dom. Her crush since she was a squire. One of her closest friends.

Marriage to him would be fine, Kel admitted, even great, if it had been of his own choice. If he had loved her, and asked her himself.

Instead...

_Standing, looking horrified, holding a letter. _

_"I think you'd better go, Kel."_

Kel groaned slightly, still sitting on her bed, frozen.

How could she have ever thought that maybe, just maybe, he liked her back?

Now it was so obvious.

His abrupt, cold words toward her had only been _after_ he had opened the letter.

It had been the letter's contents that had caused it.

_"...the lady had informed her own son of the situation..."_

He hated the fact that he was betrothed to her, Kel thought with increasing misery. Maybe it wasn't even the fact that he _was_ betrothed that bothered him, maybe it was just the fact that it was to _her_.

Her. The exact opposite of anyone that he'd ever showed an interest in- the court scandal, the only Lady Knight, the most unladylike lady, the ugly, the thick-waisted.

The marriage, of course, would be a misery, she knew.

Dom would always resent the fact that he had had to marry her- they would never have their friendship back.

She would live, knowing that she liked him, Mithros, maybe even _loved_ him- but that he didn't like her back.

She'd never have children, never know what it was like to be loved _back._

Dom would probably have affairs with other women, while she had to sit and watch. He wouldn't see any point in being faithful to his... _wife_... if they weren't in love.

And his Own career would be over- the men weren't allowed to be married- he would hate that more than anything else.

Would he let her keep being a knight?

Kel dismissed the question instantly. If Dom had to give up his precious Own, she was sure that he wouldn't want her to keep her precious knighthood. It wouldn't be fair.

Then what would they do? Stay in the palace court, resenting each other, while Dom flitted around, flirting with the pretty court ladies and Kel trained permanantly?

_My life_, Kel thought heavily, _is ruined. _

* * *

Dom swigged down half a heavy tankard of ale, the letter still clutched tightly in his hand.

He couldn't believe it.

He kept re-reading it, again and again, just to be sure that it was true.

He checked again.

_My dear son Domitan, _was written in neat, curling script.

_I am writing to inform you of a most excellent situation which should gain us favour at court and influences throughout Tortall, as well as good relations in the Yamani Isles and other fiefs._

_When you were very young, and your father was still alive, we made an agreement with a powerful family who was then living in the Yamani Islands. They had much influence around there, and although they aren't in the Book of Silver, or of Gold, we believed that our agreement would impact us most positively in the future._

_The agreement was a betrothal between our youngest son- you- and their youngest daughter, when the daughter was old and mature enough._

_I believe you know the woman in question._

_I have kept note of the family in court gossip over the years, and noted that the girl has made several... choices, shall we say, that make her not such a good bride for you. However, due to her growing fame and prowess, I believe that this is for the best._

_The girl is Keladry of Mindelan, who is now a Lady Knight of great fame is your betrothed. You will be married before next Midwinter. Your father and I decided that you and the girl must have children together, but in no given time period._

_I know what you're thinking, Domitan- your precious Own career. I'm sorry son- the Own is not your life anymore. It is gone. Marriage is your future. Honouring your family is your future._

_I sent Lachlan to deliver this to you so that you had time to get used to the idea before this Midwinter- I am announcing you and Keladry's engagement at the first Midwinter ball. I will see you in a couple of days at the palace._

_-Your mother, Lady Felicity of Masbolle._

No, the letter was still the same.

Dom closed his eyes and leant back against the wall of the Own barracks.

No.

It couldn't be happening.

_He_ was getting married. And not even by his own choice!

Neal stormed into the barracks of the Own, his face furious, and halted in front of Dom.

"_What_ is wrong with you?" Neal demanded, noting the half empty tankard of ale and the dazed expression on Dom's face. "You won't tell me, and then I go to visit Kel, and she's crying in her room! You hurt her!"

Dom opened his eyes in annoyance to stare at his persistant cousin. "Go away, Neal. Can't I wallow in my own sorrows for a while?"

"NO!" Neal practically snapped. "Not when you open this mysterious letter from your mother and then go all distant and hurt Kel by telling her to go away, then tell me that your life is ruined, and then go sit in solitude drinking ale in your barracks! No!"

Dom chugged down the rest of his ale, still staring at Neal. "My life _is_ ruined. Everything is."

"It can't be _that_ bad," said Neal coldly. "_You're_ not crying. Unlike a certain Lady Knight friend."

Sighing, Dom set down his tankard. He honestly was sorry for telling Kel to leave and hurting her- but right now, he couldn't process anything except the fact that he had to _marry_ her.

"Look, Neal," he replied harshly. "Just stop it. You don't know what's going on. I'm sorry for hurting Kel's feelings, but right now, I don't have time to think about that."

"Then how about you tell me what's going on?!" Neal exploded. "You're sitting here, alone, but sometime you're going to have to go out and face whatever it is!"

By now furious, Dom snapped.

"I'll tell you what's wrong!" he almost shouted, then quickly lowered his voice, realising that anyone walking past could hear him if he spoke like that. "I'm _betrothed_, that's what's wrong. My mother arranged a marriage for me when I was young... And I'm not betrothed just to anyone. I'm betrothed to _Kel_, for Mithros's sake! How do you expect me to feel! My career is over, my social life is over, what now?!'

Neal interrupted what could have been a full blown angry rant, his green eyes jaded, furious and shocked all at once.

"Let me get this right. Your parents arranged a marriage for you when you were young to Kel. That's a shock in itself. But you're saying that your life is basically over, because you're betrothed to _Kel?!_"

Dom nodded, misery and self-pity clouding his face. "Got it in one."

"I can't believe you!" Neal hissed, honestly beside himself with sheer anger. "Let me tell you something. Before I met Yuki, I would have given _anything_ to be in your position. I _liked_ Kel ever since my page years. I never told her; I was too scared. Somedays I regret it, others I know that it wouldn't have worked between us. But if I had've had _your_ chance, I wouldn't be sulking and trying to get drunk, I would go and _talk_ to her. You are betrothed to one of the most _amazing_ women I know and you're drowning in self pity. You _disgust_ me."

Neal broke off his rant, and looked up, only to see Dom with his mouth dropped open and his eyes ridiculously wide.

"But you're _married_!" Dom said with horror. "You're not supposed to say things like that! Does that mean all your terrible 'Yamani blossom' poems are... are lies?!"

Shaking his head, Neal answered. "No. I knew that I had to move on; Kel wouldn't have ever felt the way I did. I fell in love with Yuki when I was knighted. But Kel... Kel was the first person I ever felt that way about. I liked to... well, _look_ at the court beauties, but I didn't _know_ them. It was fun to write poems to them, but they were never to _them_. Kel was the only one I actually _wanted_. And you're not allowed to tell her OR Yuki," he added quickly.

Dom swallowed abruptly, his face panicked. "Okay. So you wouldn't be here, miserable, because you _liked_ Kel that way. But me, I don't! I mean, we're friends, and she's a great person. But... like that? No!"

"Dom," Neal said quietly, anger burnt out. "You've never given her a _chance_ in that way."

* * *

The next day, Kel was coping far better than Dom- on the outside.

She threw herself into the most difficult training exercises, and offered to help a surprised Raoul with a long paperwork assignment.

"Let me get this right," Raoul said, narrowing his eyes at her suspiciously. "_You're_ offering to help me write out all the food expenses from Haven, Mastiff and New Hope?"

Kel nodded, her Yamani mask well in place. "That's right, m'lord."

"Are you alright?" asked Raoul, truly concerned.

"I'm fine, m'lord," responded Kel calmly, all thoughts of her betrothal shoved out of her mind.

Raoul remembered another pressing matter that had been brought to his attention. "Kel? Do you know anything about why Dom would be leaving the Own?" he questioned tentatively, remembering the earlier meeting with his best sergeant.

_A knock came on the door; Raoul glanced up with surprise. "Come in!" he called out. The door swung open and a ragged, messy Dom entered. He looked awful- he had dark bags under his eyes and his hair was ruffled._

_"Dom?" Raoul said with disbelief, eyeing his sergeant. He had never seen him like that. "What's wrong?"_

_Dom sat heavily in the chair beside the door without invitation. "I have to leave the Own," his voice was hoarse, like he hadn't spoken for a while, and as he said the words, his eyes closed and he leant his head back on the wall, banging it lightly._

_Raoul was still in shock. "What? Why?"_

_"It's not of my own choice," Dom replied woodenly. "Believe me, m'lord, if it were up to me, I would stay."_

_Raoul shook his head, still trying to comprehend this sudden change of events. "But... can't you tell me why?"_

_Sighing, Dom replied. "I'm sure you'll find out at the Midwinter ball."_

Kel's emotionless mask slipped slightly, and, in a moment of shock, Raoul saw the complete, utter despair.

"No," she replied flatly. "No, I don't know."

Raoul decided wisely not to pressure her further.

"Kel, if you ever need to talk," he said gently. "I'm here."

Kel nodded, grateful but unwilling.

No one could help her with this one.

They finished the paperwork in the remaining part of the afternoon, due to Kel's fierce dedication.

* * *

To Kel's relief, her mother summoned her to her rooms just before dinner.

Gladly, Kel went. It only gave her another excuse to skip dinner- she had managed to avoid a worried Neal all morning by hiding out in the training courts and skipping lunch, then in the afternoon she had taken Peachblossom for a ride, then helped Raoul with his paperwork.

She knocked politely on the door and waited patiently for her mother.

Ilane opened the door, her face breaking into a smile at the sight of her daughter. "Kel, darling. Come in."

Kel did so, and sunk into the chair that her mother offered.

"How are you?" Ilane asked, pouring a small cup of Yamani tea for Kel, who accepted it without emotion.

"I'm fine," Kel said, her voice cracking at the end and betraying her true feelings.

"Oh, Kel," Ilane sighed, wrapping an arm around her daughter's shoulders. "It's going to be fine."

Kel held back an army of tears just waiting to overflow, and instead sipped her tea neatly.

The silence stretched until Kel thought of something to say.

"When do we have to tell everyone?"

Ilane looked at her daughter seriously. "Lady Felicity wants to announce it at the first Midwinter ball."

Kel swallowed audibly. "Ah."

"She also wants you to get ready for the ball, which is tomorrow night, in her rooms, and walk into the hall with Domitan," Ilane bit her lip as Kel's face fell, before she covered it up quickly.

"I'm so sorry, Kel," her mother said. "I wish there was a way to break the contract. But we can't."

Kel merely nodded, not trusting herself to speak steadily.

Ilane asked a question that had been bothering her somewhat.

"When I finally realised who Domitan was, I thought that he was one of your friends and..." she trailed off uncertainly.

Staring at the ground, the inevitable misery filling her, Kel answered in a monotone. "He was."

* * *

Dom staggered back into his room at the barracks, completely wasted.

He had drunk at least five tankards of ale at the Dancing Dove, and had had to be escorted back to the palace grounds by an all too helpful serving maid.

To his surprise, there was a tall, but fairly slender figure sitting on his bed.

He squinted his eyes in the darkness, trying to make out the face.

"Domitan," a melodious, well groomed voice greeted him. "That is, if I'm right. We haven't met before. I'm Ilane of Mindelan."

Dom stumbled over to light a candle, and once it was done, turned around. "Kel's mother," he slurred, recognising the name as well as Kel's dreamy hazel eyes set in this woman's face.

"That's right," Ilane nodded, subtly standing and guiding Dom to sit on his bed before he fell.

"What's... wrong?" Dom managed to get out.

"I want to talk about your betrothal," began Ilane.

Dom gulped. That word had been appearing far too often in his life the last couple of days- _betrothal._

Taking his silence as an assent that she could talk to him, Ilane continued.

"I know that you don't want to marry Kel, and she doesn't want to marry you, but the thing is, it has to work. And I just... I just wanted to make sure... that you'd... not resent her for having to leave the Own. It's not her fault, you know. She doesn't _want_ this. And I wanted to make sure that you'd treat her well. Nicely. You know."

Kel didn't want to marry him? Distantly, Dom felt a pang of hurt. What was wrong with him? He was handsome enough, so he was led to believe, and he was _nice_ enough, surely...

His movements felt sluggish and slow as he nodded his head. "Of... course... I... will..."

He passed out drunkenly. Ilane sighed and left the room.

Dom's actions didn't exactly matched up with his words.

* * *

The next day passed all too quickly, only bringing the evening closer and closer.

To Kel's surprise, when she went to the Lady of Masbolle's palace rooms, she found Lady Felicity, a large smile on her face, waiting with two gowns hanging on the wall.

"Keladry," Felicity said with unexpected warmth. "Welcome. So pleased to meet you."

Kel was enveloped in a perfumed embrace. "Thankyou, it's very nice to meet you, too," she managed to tell Dom's mother.

"Now," announced Felicity, breaking away briskly. "We must begin to get ready. There's only three hours until the ball!"

* * *

Three hours later, Kel stood rigidly, her entire torso compressed so that she had to take shallow, slow breaths, dressed and painted up beyond belief. Her long, richly made, midnight blue dress with a while undergown fitted perfectly, as did the velvety slippers on her feet.

_Well,_ she thought, slightly bitterly. _Those three hours were certainly a distraction. If a painful one._

"Your old maid, Lalasa I believe, made the dress," Felicity informed her. "She already had all your measurements, and so it was all too easy."

Kel nodded an understanding, her Yamani mask pasted in place. It was going to be a long evening.

"Thankyou," she added hastily, remembering that Felicity had paid for the entire dress.

"My pleasure," Felicity smiled, adjusting the last strand of Kel's hair. "It's time."

Kel was led out of the rooms and down to the entrance of the palace hall, where there were an enormous set of double doors, then of stairs that apparantly Kel and Dom, arm in arm, were supposed to parade down when Felicity announced their engagement.

Dom was not yet there, but Felicity had to leave to join the first festivities, and so Kel was left alone except for the doorman, who smiled at her excitedly.

"What an occasion, Lady Knight!" he said happily. "Bethrothed! Congratulations!"

Kel managed a minute smile and a nod.

Dom arrived about a minute before the doors were opening, hair neat, dressed in a tunic in Masbolle colours.

Kel couldn't bear to say anything. What was she supposed to say?

"I'm sorry that you hate me for being betrothed to you, but it's not my fault?"

"I've actually had a crush on you since I first met you, so if you liked me back this would be perfect?"

"You can do whatever you like when we're married, just please, please let me keep being a knight?"

"I know that I'm ugly and the opposite of what you'd want to be marrying, and I'm sorry?"

None of it worked.

Dom was also silent. His face was closed and cold; looking at it, Kel didn't think she could say anything without breaking up.

The minutes ticked on.

Felicity returned.

"It's nearly time," she said, her face breaking into an excited smile, then falling slightly as she noticed both Kel and Dom's expressions. "Oh dear. Please, you two, for the honour of Masbolle and Mindelan, _smile. _I'm going to mention briefly that it _is_ an arranged marriage, but the conservatives will have a fit if you look like you _hate_ each other. At least, please, try to not look like you're going to a burial service? _"_

The curious and baffled doorman watched as Dom moved his lips slightly so that his teeth were showing and Kel lifted her lips slightly at the corners.

Felicity also noted their stiff, two-metre-apart-stance and sighed faintly. Kel couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

"Alright. Domitan, hold Keladry's hand in yours and stand close together, so that you're almost touching, but not," she instructed knowledgably.

Kel couldn't look at Dom's face as she saw his hand reach out.

Forcing her smile back in place, she placed her own hand in his, reluctant to feel the tingle that she knew would come when they were touching.

"Good!" Felicity said brightly. "I'll see you when the doors open!"

It was more than awkward, standing barely apart from Dom, her hand encased by his larger one, staring at the ground while trying her very best to keep a natural looking smile on her face.

And it hurt to think that, before she had discovered the betrothal, she had dreamed about this- being held by Dom.

They waited in stony, unbroken silence.

And the doors finally opened.

"Good luck!" hissed the doorman, grinning.

**_AN: There you are- two chapters I don't know, less than a week? Aren't you happy!_**

**_Thankyou so much for all the positive reviews and for the crit ones too :D _**

**_Sorry for yet another 'unfinished' ending. haha. :)_**


	4. Ch 4: Confessions

**_AN :) Thanks heaps for all the reviews. They're beyond awesome. :D_**

**_Two chapters in one night. I expect you to review both of them :P_**

**Chapter 4: Confessions**

As the large, double doors opened, revealing the brightly lit, colourful royal hall, Kel's brain numbly registered that she should begin walking, begin descending those large stairs.

"...betrothed!" was all that they heard of Felicity's bright, gushing voice.

Dom began to walk, stiffly, his hand pulling Kel along.

She was frozen... for some reason, hearing it all out loud, knowing that everyone now _knew_, made it all worse.

Swallowing hard, she followed his example.

Slowly, slowly, they descended the stairs, Kel made herself smile, noticing that Dom also had pasted a ghost of his usual, charming smile onto his handsome face.

The crowd of nobles was staring, some appluaded loudly, from somewhere, most likely the Third Company, came a wolf whistle.

Kel concentrated on forcing her feet one in front of another, on keeping her smile firmly intact.

Keeping her mask on when she was being insulted was nothing compared to this effort.

What was everyone thinking?

_Slut, how come SHE gets to be betrothed to the handsomest man in the court?_

_Poor Domitan, imagine having to MARRY that cow!_

_Thick waisted, ugly, eugh! Why her! Why not me!_

_KEL and DOM? What in Mithros's name?!_

She made herself stop, knowing that what she was imagining and the hurt and sadness behind it might show on her face.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they reached the bottom of the stairs, only to more applause.

She could see Neal, his green eyes anxious, half-standing in his chair to see their expressions, her parents- Ilane wearing a fixed smile, Piers's natural, her brothers- Inness and Anders with their fellow knights, her sisters- Oranie and Adalia sitting amongst several young men, Raoul, his face a mask of utter shock and dawning realisation, King Jonathon, frowning slightly in a thoughtful way and...

Kel bit back tears of the sight of all the beautiful, primped court ladies- so many... what Dom would have _wanted_ to marry...

Suddenly, she realised that she had no idea where they were supposed to sit. Dom, however, seemed to have an idea- he led her towards a table consisting of Felicity- now that she had sat down- and other, unfamiliar, older men and women.

Dom pulled his hand away from hers abruptly- the loss of the warmth made Kel cringe slightly- and pulled out one of the spare chairs, bowing slightly as Kel slid past to sit in it, sweeping out her skirts as she remembered seeing other ladies do.

The dinner began.

Petrified pages came around to the tables to offer finger basins- Kel managed a real smile for the scared boy that waited on their table, remembering what it was like.

The first course was brought.

The man next to Kel, whom she privately thought looked like an older version of Dom, introduced himself as Dom's older brother, Vince.

"Lovely to meet you, Lady Keladry," he said, with Dom's charming smile on his face.

Kel smiled in return- _he's just another courtier that I have to impress-_ and resisted the temptation to tell him that it was actually Lady _Knight_ Keladry.

"Likewise," she responded politely, neatly cutting up a small piece of meat to pop in her mouth.

"The food is excellent," Vince complimented cheerily, attacking his own plate of food, which Kel noted with annoyance had a lot more on it than hers. "Don't you agree, little brother?"

"Certainly," Dom said, his voice toneless. "The potatoes are just... just..."

Apparantly in complete rapture at the potatoes, Dom shoved one whole in his mouth, much to one of the woman sitting across from him's amusement.

"Domitan, darling," the woman drawled, her black hair shining in the candlelight. "You really should be more careful. You wouldn't want to choke and die before your wedding day!"

Kel seriously wanted to bury her face in a wall hanging and never come out again.

She didn't want to hear Dom's answer... she could imagine it already. _"Oh, I wouldn't mind choking on a potato and dying, it would be an step up from getting married, really..."_

A pointed glance from Felicity had Dom acting.

"Of course not," he said smoothly, reaching across to take one of Kel's hands. He brushed his lips against it lightly, and interlocked his fingers with hers. "That would be a pity."

The usual tingles came at his warm, once wanted touch.

Why was he bothering to act now? Walking down the stairs, his smile had been completely, obviously fake. But now- he was playing as best as he could.

Maybe it was because, close up, the deception would be easier to spot. He actually had to try now- for both fief's honour and for the court's benefit.

Kel felt sick at his smooth pretense, she just wanted this to be over, _over_....

And then she realised that she would have to act right back. She'd never been good at flirting or showing affection, what was she supposed to do now?

_What is this, a court play? For the entertainment of the nobles? _she screamed mentally.

Remembering what she had observed the court couples doing, she squeezed her fingers against his and returned his comment with what she sincerely hoped was a warm smile.

"It's so good that you two love each other," another woman broke in- she looked so like Dom that Kel had to assume that she was a relative. "Quite often, in an arranged marriage, that's just not the case."

Kel's smile faltered a little, before she gave a little, utterly fake giggle. "Yes- I've met some like that. And I'm so glad that Dom and I do..." her mouth caught on the word love, she simply couldn't say it. "Like each other a lot."

Dom's returning smile was deceptively dazzling.

Kel, her mind racing, found a good excuse to remove all contact.

She pulled her hand away from his, letting it linger lightly on the back of his hand. "You should eat, Dom. We wouldn't want you to rot away of hunger, either."

He laughed lightly and pulled his hand out from under Kel's, _in an all too eager way,_ she thought, her heart breaking yet again.

What was _wrong_ with her?! First she was trying to remove all contact, and now she was hurt because he had seemed eager to break away!

"Nor you, Kel, darling," Dom resumed eating, leaving Kel wondering how long they could keep up this already breaking pretense...

She had honestly lost her appetite. She ate some more potato and vegetables, then a little meat, and stopped.

Vince noticed, and, winking at her ever so slightly, subtly swapped their empty plates. Kel actually grinned at this- she had never met anyone who could _eat_ so much all at once.

Next came the fantastic Midwinter desserts, in all different shapes and sizes, which Kel normally loved watching.

Today, however, there was no joy in seeing them, and thinking _next time I see those, I'll be married..._

"Oh, I love that one," sighed the woman that Kel thought was related to Dom. "It's gorgeous."

Kel followed the direction of her rapt gaze, only to find that it led to an auburn haired, fine boned man sitting at another table.

She let her eyes resume staring at the table, forcing any more self-pitying thoughts out of her mind.

She had to hand it to him- Dom was an excellent actor. To anyone, his arm lifting to rest gently around Kel's shoulders appeared absent-minded and natural. To her, it was a well acted gesture to entertain his family.

"Oh, you two are so sweet," one of the younger girls practically purred, noticing Dom's arm.

Kel giggled and battered her eyelashes as she let her gaze lift up to rest on Dom's face. He took it in his stride, staring down at her face with what appeared to be a tender expression.

Kel was far too aware of his closeness; she couldn't believe that, at a time like this, her attraction to him was still going full pelt.

Close enough to kiss...

As fast as that thought had come, Kel threw it away. Dom _didn't_ like her- that much was obvious. She couldn't get caught up in the act and for a moment pretend it was real- that would only cause her to fall harder, later.

The desserts were consumed gradually and for a while, everyone was silent, eating.

Then...

From somewhere in the corner, an orchestra began playing soft music, and people began standing to dance.

Kel swallowed hard. It would be thought odd if the newly betrothed couple didn't get up to dance.

_No, no, no, no, no, no....._ Kel moaned inwardly. _How long will this go on for?_

By now, their entire table had stood up to either dance, or go giggle on the sidelines, and hope that someone would ask them to dance.

Dom and Kel were left completely alone, and Dom's flirtatious, sweet facade collapsed. He rested his elbows on the table and leant forward, sighing.

Kel didn't know what to say, or even if there was anything that could be said. She sat rigidly in her seat, her hands folded in her lap, not once letting her mask collapse.

It was getting stronger, thriving on once again being up all the time.

Finally, Dom leant back again, and stood fluidly, holding out his hand with another perfect white smile.

"Dance with me?" he asked.

There was no way Kel could have said no. She placed her hand in his, and together they whirled off into the midst of the other dancers.

Kel, who had never seen Dom dance before, was quite surprised that he was actually decent at it.

When she wasn't concentrating on keeping her face in a perfect smile, she was all too conscious of one of his hands resting lightly on her waist, one entwined with her hand.

The song ended smoothly and Kel knew that she couldn't handle another dance.

"Please," she muttered, leaning her head forward slightly so that it was on Dom's shoulder. "_Please_, can we just get out of here?"

They were her first words to him since he had told her to leave.

He nodded minimally, and released his hold on her waist, leading her gracefully by the hand to one of the balcony doors.

There was no one else outside. They broke their handhold instantly, and Kel went to stand at one edge of the balcony, breathing in the fresh air slowly and carefully so as not to suffocate.

Dom was silent, until, "let's go into the gardens. No one will mind, and no one else is going to be there, either. And then no one will notice our... lack of companionship for one another."

Kel nodded silently, her misery getting heavier still at his words. There had never before been a 'lack of companionship' between them, they'd never fought before.

The balcony had stairs leading down into the peaceful, dark gardens, and they both sat on a secluded bench.

Gaining courage from the peace and quiet, Kel spoke. "We need to talk, Dom."

She strained to see his head nod. "You're right," he replied quietly.

Kel was filled with a sudden, desperate feeling to talk to him, to apologise, to tell him what she was thinking.

Even if he hated her because he was betrothed to her, talking to him couldn't make it any worse.

Could it?

She licked her dry lips and began. "I'm sorry. Really sorry."

A bitter chuckle came from next to her. "Why are _you_ sorry? It's not your fault, Kel."

"Even so," she said softly. "I'm sorry that I'm not even close to who you would want to be betrothed to. I'm sorry that this agreement was ever made. I'm sorry that you had to act. I'm-"

A light touch on her arm stopped the flow. "Please, don't, Kel, you're making it worse."

She went silent, obviously she had been wrong. Talking to him _could_ make it worse.

Dom continued. "You're making it worse because you're making me look like... I don't know, the worst of the worst. I've spent the last few days feeling sorry for myself, and here you are apologising to me!"

His words stung.

_"...feeling sorry for myself..."_

_Am I really that bad?_ Kel wondered. _That undesirable?_

_Mask. Mask. Smooth, calm, lake..._

"I wouldn't think of me quite like that," said Kel honestly. "I... haven't exactly been brooding over how you might be feeling the last couple of days either."

He snorted slightly. "I wouldn't expect you to have. The way I treated you when I got the news... I was just so shocked. I never expected this to happen to _me_."

"Was it the letter?" Kel asked pointlessly.

"Yeah. Kel, do you mind if I am completely, brutally honest with you?"

Kel gulped.

Yes, she did mind, yes, she didn't want to hear things that could hurt her and make this worse.

But what else could she say?

"No, go ahead," she replied, steeling herself.

"I hate the fact that I am betrothed." Dom began, his voice harsh and angry. "Me, betrothed! It wasn't supposed to happen. All of a sudden, I have to give up my career, my entire life for someone I don't even love. Kel, I like you, you're a close friend. But... marriage... to you! Children... with you! It's not... It's just not..."

Neal's words were echoing over and over, painfully, in his head.

_"Dom, you've never given her a **chance** that way."_

Was it true? he pondered.

No, of course it wasn't. This was _Kel_ he was talking about. Basically his brother... or sister, rather. Sure, he had flirted with her, but it hadn't been serious, he hadn't wanted anything to come of it. It had been playful banter and teasing, nothing else, he told himself firmly. Kel was basically one of his Own men- it was just sick and wrong to be thinking about _more_ with her.

What about his slight pang of hurt at Ilane's words?

_"... you don't want it and she doesn't want it either..."_

He dismissed it abruptly as sheer vanity.

Kel was silent, struggling to hold in her swiftly approaching breakdown.

_Smooth... calm... rock..._

_"For someone I don't even love..."_

She folded and unfolded her hands, clenching them so hard that it hurt.

_Smooth... calm... rock..._

"It doesn't have to be like that," she said, once she was positive that she had gotten her voice under control. "Children, they're not a necessity of marriage, Dom. We don't have to be like... that once we're married. It's not like anyone will know. We were forced into this marriage, we don't have to be forced to do all that marriage usually contains."

Dom laughed- a cold, cutting sound that made Kel's heart shatter a little further. "Your mother didn't tell you the last bit of the agreement, did she? The bit where it says that we have to have children."

Kel used some choice words she had learnt from the soldiers and the men of the Own.

The crickets called, the wind blew slightly through the trees.

"And now," Dom announced, standing up and grabbing Kel by the waist to pull her up too. "We have to go back inside and pretend. Because if we're out here for too long, it'll be a scandal. People will have us doing all kinds of things that will have the conservatives screaming. Little do they know."

Dom was little more than a turmoil of confusion, misery, stress, anger and annoyance- he didn't know how to face Neal's words or his own emotions.

He was basically drunk on having too many emotions.

"What are you _doing_, Dom?" Kel pushed his hands off her waist, simply not able to handle the way he was acting, nor his earlier words matched with his current actions.

Sarcastic, furious- he was acting the exact opposite of the old Dom, _the one I fell in love with._

_Mithros. I just said that. In my head._

She slapped herself mentally, cursing in her head.

"I don't know," Dom's voice broke slightly at the end. "Dammit, Kel, I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing or how I feel. Dammit!"

"We can't go inside like this," Kel said, with forced calm. She sat back down, and Dom followed her example with some reluctance.

"Dom?" Kel asked suddenly, with a sudden suspicion. "What have you been doing the last two days?"

Dom didn't look at her as he answered.

"I don't know why I'm telling you. Maybe I just can't be bothered to lie anymore. I've been going to the Dancing Dove, getting drunk, and coming back late."

"I thought so," whispered Kel, pity filling her. She had never known Dom to get completely, grossly drunk, but it seemed that he had been pushed to it.

She touched his shoulder lightly, hating that she still _liked_ him while he didn't _like_ her.

"I'm really sorry, Dom."

He turned his head suddenly, startling her. "It was my own fault. I should have handled it."

Their faces were so close...

Kel turned her head to face straight in front of them.

She wanted to ask him a question so badly that it was hurting her.

The problem was, she was scared that the answer might hurt her too.

"Dom? I know that we're getting married against our will and all, but I was wondering... I was wondering... could we still be friends?"

Silence.

"We can try."

* * *

The next morning, Neal arrived in Kel's room armed with a cup of tea.

"Tell me that's not one of your filthy concutions," Kel said, eyeing it with disgust.

She was feeling marginally better, due to Dom's agreement to still be friends, but that hadn't held in the hysterical tears last night.

Neal stared at her face. "You look terrible."

Self-consciously, Kel lifted a hand up to cover her face. "I washed my face."

"The tear tracks didn't come off," Neal replied, his voice sympathetic.

Kel sighed and gave in with no pressure, accepting his cup of tea.

"Thanks." she sipped it and for once didn't pull any faces.

This only succeeded to make Neal more concerned. "Do you want to talk?"

"Have you talked to Dom?" Kel responded.

"Yes," Neal admitted, having gone to grill his cousin earlier that morning. "He didn't say much. Kel, if he hurt you, tell me and I'll... get him."

Kel shook her head wearily. "Thanks, Neal, but nothing he said hurt. It was just the truth. I expected it."

The lies were coming easier now.

"Kel..." Neal hesitated, unsure as of whether after this comment, he would be asked to meet her on the practise courts for sparring. "Do you... like... Dom?"

Kel was taken completely, utterly off guard. "What?" she managed. "Why do you think that?"

Shrugging, Neal replied. "I never thought of it, I'll admit it. But Lalasa... and Yuki..."

He trailed off, leaving the obvious.

"Ah."

"I swear, I won't tell anyone," Neal said, desperately wanting his best friend to open up to him, to open up to _someone_. "And in return... I'll tell you... something."

Despite herself, Kel was intrigued.

And tired of lying.

"Yes, I like him," she admitted, swallowing tightly. "And he doesn't like me back. I don't know why I even thought, I even hoped that someone could. I g-"

Angrily, Neal cut her off.

Dom had hurt her yet again.

And this time, he was going to pay more.

"Kel!" he practically snapped. "Don't be like that! Stop putting yourself down like that! Plenty of men would give their souls to get to be with you, it's just never occurred to Dom to even think that way before! He's seen you as a member of the Own and a knight, but he's never seen you in a dress, apart from last night! He's never realised that you're a female! He's going to be confused!"

The corner of Kel's mouth quirked up a tiny bit. "Thanks for trying, Neal. But name one person other than Cleon who's ever _wanted_ me."

Neal cleared his throat, a little embarrassed. "Let me tell you my return-secret... when we were pages, then squires, I... liked you. Before Yuki."

Kel didn't bother trying to hide her surprise. Her jaw dropped and her hazel eyes widened. "If you're playing with me, Neal, I swear..."

"I'm not!" Neal promised, blushing a vivid red. "I swear! I _liked_ you!"

Oddly enough, she believed him. Neal's lies were usually full of big words and dramatic gestures- this one was just... so _honest_.

She couldn't help smiling a little at the bitter irony of it.

"You know what, Neal, I was never, ever going to tell you this, but when I was a page, I liked you too."

It was Neal's turn to be shocked. "WHAT!"

Kel shrugged, grinning faintly. "You told me, I told you. Fair's fair. It's over now, anyway."

Neal nodded slowly. "I guess it's just a shock, because now I wonder what would have happened if I had have told you..."

She chewed her lip silently for a moment. "Let's not go there. We're better as friends."

"Tell me," Neal began slyly. "Who after that? Who made you not like me anymore? Who... stole the attraction?!"

Kel's slightly uplifted mood dropped again.

"Dom."

**_AN: Oh, whatever, I know what you're thinking. BORING!!! _**

**_Boring but necessary, my lovelies, more will happen next chapter. :)_**

**_haha, sorry for the chapter title... it's like 13 out of Twilight (which I don't really actually like anymore) but it suits my chapter too!!! _**


	5. Ch 5: Power

**AN: As usual, reviews are incredible :) Thankyou so much!!**

**OH MY GOSH!**

**89 REVIEWS!!!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!**

**I only just realised that I had that many. Awesome!! thankyou all SO SO SO much! **

**Can we make the 100 this chapter? :)**

**Chapter Four: Power **

Dom was packing his clothes to move out of his barracks when Neal stormed in, a look of forced calm on his face that broke the moment he saw Dom.

"You IDIOT!" Neal shouted loudly; Dom jerked with surprise and spilt most of his clothes back onto the ground.

"What?!" he exclaimed, eyeing his cousin with alarm. "What now?!"

"YOU TOLD KEL THAT YOU DIDN'T LOVE HER!" Neal practically screamed, banging his fist on the wall. "YOU. ARE. _SO_. STUPID!"

Dom was truly scared by Neal's display of anger, but also faintly relieved that as it was Midwinter day, none of his squad would be around to hear it. He backed away slightly from Neal.

"Why is that so stupid?" demanded Dom. "She would've done the same!"

"NO SHE WOULDN'T HAVE! BECAUSE SHE'S ACTUALLY CONSIDERATE AND NICE!" bellowed Neal loudly, his face turning an odd, beet red from the effort. "HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF SOMEONE DELIBERATELY TOLD YOU THAT THEY DIDN'T LOVE YOU! AND THIS IS KEL WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, WHICH MAKES IT ABOUT FIFTY TIMES WORSE!"

Dom gulped fearfully. "I _did _say that I liked her as a friend. I didn't just leave it at that."

"AND YOU THINK THAT MAKES IT ANY BETTER?!" Neal's voice cracked at the end of this yelled sentence and he clutched at his throat.

"Well it's not like I just said, Kel, I don't like you and I don't want to marry you, is it?" Dom said, his tone laced with exasperation, but a tinge of regret flowing into him. "Is she upset?"

Neal closed his eyes and visibly restrained himself- from doing what, Dom had no idea. When he spoke again, his voice was hoarse.

"She thinks that she's not worth loving," Neal informed his cousin. "And you call me a Meathead. Didn't you think of how this would make her feel before you said it?"

"No," replied Dom honestly. "I wasn't going to say anything to her. Besides, I thought talking and being honest would make it better. Why does she think that? It's not like I'm her... her only... her one true love, or anything remotely similar."

Neal poked a finger up to rest on his chin, an expression of exaggerated thought on his face. "Oh, no, of course not, because you only have to, let's see... marry each other and spend the rest of your lives with one another?"

"But just because we have to do all of that," Dom began, wincing at the very thought. "Doesn't mean that we have to, well, like each other."

Neal studied his cousin, green eyes serious, surprisingly without a superior look on his face. "Just listen to me for a minute or two, Dom. No interruptions. Just shut up, okay?"

"O...kay?" Dom looked at his cousin curiously.

"Put yourself in Kel's hypothetical boots," started Neal, his tone heated, before he calmed it. "Now I'm not saying that this is true, but just think on it, okay? Okay. So. Kel. You're the only Lady Knight of the entire realm, not counting Lady Alanna, because she wasn't knighted as a Lady Knight, so she-"

"Neal, just get on with it," sighed Dom. "I don't need to know Lady Alanna's entire history."

"No interruptions!" Neal snapped. "Anyway. Where was I. Yes. So, the entire realm, and then all of a sudden you find out that you're betrothed. And let's just say, hypothetically, that you actually _do _like who you're betrothed to, but you know that they won't like you back, so you never, ever tell them."

Dom was oddly silent.

"And so, the person who you're betrothed to, who you actually do like, but they don't like you back, tells you to go away when they receive the letter with the news, but you don't know that they just received the news, so you go away confused and hurt. Then, once you find out who you're betrothed to, you're naturally horrified but also miserable, because after piecing it together, you figure out that the letter must have contained the news. So you're obviously _heart broken _because you think that your betrothed and the person you like hates you now.

Then, you're avoided by your betrothed for the next few days, only confirming your suspicions. You finally have to meet with your betrothed at a ball where your engagement is announced, and then you have to endure the entire dinner while your betrothed fake-flirts with you and holds your hand. You also actually have to fake-flirt back, except for you, it's painfully real, because remember, you hypothetically actually like the person.

Then, you finally get a moment alone with your betrothed and so you have a talk, in which your betrothed tells you that they don't, in fact, love you. And then, when you try to find a bright side, you find out that you have to have children with your betrothed, torture for him... ahem, I mean, them, but something you wouldn't have found repulsive before you found out that your betrothed found _you _repulsive. And then, when you- heartbroken, remember, because you hypothetically do like your betrothed- ask if you can still be friends, all you get is a "we can try".

Then, K-...you might actually have the right to be hurt, and miserable, and completely shattered, because you feel bad that you like your betrothed and that they don't like you back, and that they have to give up their entire career for you, and THEN you kind of feel like it's your fault, and you're really worried about what it's going to be like after marriage, and you know you can't handle keeping up your damn mask for too much longer, and-"

"_Enough_, Neal." The cold, final edge to Dom's voice made Neal cut off his babbling rant abruptly.

Dom buried his face in his hands, despair written on every aspect of his face.

"Kel _likes_ me?" His voice was muffled by his hands, but Neal could still hear the shock.

He felt more than a little guilty about revealing his best friend's biggest secret, but he firmly told himself, _it's for the best_.

"I said it was hypothetical," Neal reminded Dom, his tone flat.

Dom's face was once again revealed, showing tightly closed eyes. "Hypothetical. Of course. How stupid of me to forget. Cut the lies, Nealan, and let me hear it. Does. Kel. Actually. Like. Me.?"

"Yes," replied Neal resignedly.

Bright blue eyes opened suddenly, the edges scrunching up with horror. "This makes it all a million times worse."

Neal halted in the middle of taking a large breath and fixed his green eyes on Dom. "Worse? If you tell Kel that I told you that, I will happily push you off the palace wall, and then ask the Wildmage to send a stampede of horses that way to squish you in case you didn't die from the fall."

Dom cringed at the thought, and then made himself serious again. "But, Neal, honestly? Kel likes me?"

"Yes," Neal said impatiently. "And don't tell her I told you, and don't let her know that you know, and now actually consider how she might feel when you go and do stupid things like you have been."

A slight scuffling at the door made both cousins jerk around, only to see the small messenger boy of several days ago standing awkwardly.

"Lord Domitan?" he squeaked uncertainly, his eyes flicking from Dom, to Neal, and back to Dom again.

"Yes?" Dom forced a patient smile onto his face, it felt like trying to smile at a plague-rat.

The boy scuttled forward and handed Dom a cream envelope, which Dom proceeded to tear open violently. He scanned it swiftly, and then groaned aloud, crumping the paper and throwing it at the wall viciously.

"Thankyou," Dom turned back to the boy, who ducked automatically, fear written in his eyes. "Thankyou. Here you are."

Flicking the boy a coin, Dom spun to face Neal -the earlier mood gone- who lifted his eyebrows questioningly.

"Mother has summoned me," muttered Dom rebelliously.

"You'd better go, then," Neal told his cousin, knowing perfectly well what Aunt Felicity could be like when enraged.

Dom sighed. "She's ordered me to dress up and meet her at the Masbolle townhouse. Apparantly we're having a family celebration."

"Family?" Neal demanded, looking insulted. "How come I wasn't invited?!"

Shrugging, Dom turned around, shedding his shirt and digging for a new one. "Beats me. I wish you were. I think it's the whole Masbolle-and-Mindelan-meeting thing."

"Ah. Now remember what I said. Have fun, cousin," Neal stomped out the door, his voice drifting back to Dom as he left. "Hurt her again and you'll hurt too. But _give her a chance_!"

The scary thing was, he was serious... dead serious.

* * *

Dom arrived at Masbolle's town house- freshly bathed and dressed- wearing a flawless smile.

His mother and Kel, wearing yet another of Lalasa's gorgeous creations, stepped neatly out of a carriage.

_Mithros... Another dress. Hey, she has hazel eyes! I never noticed. They're actually pretty big as well and..._

_Shut up, Domitan. Just shut up._

"Keladry! Mother!" Dom greeted them, his smile stretching further. He extended his arm to Kel, who accepted it timidly.

Is it torture for her now? Touching me, holding me, when she likes me and knows it's an act for me?

He made himself smile and lift a hand in greeting at several relations who had also just arrived.

Felicity nudged Dom in the ribs sharply, causing him to turn towards her. "Here," she said, shoving a long, velvety box into his hands. "You need to wear those."

Dom opened the box slowly, Kel leaning over slightly to see what it was, one of her golden-brown curls brushing his shoulder lightly...

The open box revealed two, shining gold rings, set with gleaming diamonds and blue stones.

"Betrothal rings," Felicity said brusquely. She strolled past Kel and Dom- who were now at a stand still- to greet a beautifully dressed woman.

Kel swallowed quietly. "Which is which?" she asked Dom, her tone soft.

Dom picked one out to examine it, it glittered in the sunlight. "I think this is yours," he replied dubiously. "It's got more stones."

She nodded, more of her hair falling to brush her shoulders. "Alright, then."

Kel held out the pale hand that wasn't clutching Dom's arm to collect the ring- to his own horror, Dom felt himself let go of her arm and reach out, and instead of dropping the ring into her hand, he gently picked up her hand with one hand and slid the ring onto the correct finger.

She was still- very still- and Dom could only imagine the pain he had caused then.

What on earth did I do that for? he asked himself angrily.

The answer didn't surface.

Kel broke the hold- it was only then that Dom realised that he had still been holding her hand, and smiled dazzlingly at him.

"Well, then, it's only right that I return the favour," she picked up the remaining ring, her gaze elsewhere.

Dom followed the direction of her eyes and realised that several of his cousins were watching them in an almost reverent way.

That explained the sudden, beautiful smile.

_Beautiful?_

_Did I hit my head today?_

_I could have sworn that I just called Kel's smile beautiful..._

Neal must have messed with my head. Him and all his "chance" stuff. Stupid Meathead.

He was suddenly aware of her hand on his, sliding the ring down onto his finger.

"There," Lady Keladry of Mindelan said, releasing his hand quickly.

_She was a lady_, Dom thought dazedly. He'd never realised- not on Progress, not in all the battles that they had fought together, not at Haven or New Hope or anywhere. Sure, he'd flirted like anything with her, but he'd never actually really thought of it like that.

But she was. She was a lady.

_And what does that change?_ Part of him demanded. _Nothing, of course. Yes, she's a lady, but that doesn't mean you WANT to marry her. You don't. You know you don't._

"KEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!" came a high pitched squeal, as a tiny, energetic figure launched itself at him. "DOOOOOMMMMMM!!!"

Dom stared down at the unfamiliar little girl who was now hugging his legs enthusiastically. "Uhh..."

"Vo!" A grin spread across Kel's previously impassive face. "Don't I get a hug?!"

Still slightly stunned, Dom watched as the small girl- 'Vo', perhaps- scampered over to Kel, who lifted her up and spun her around, smiling fondly.

An older man accompanied by a beautiful, dark-haired woman followed the young girl, in turn, followed by several other children who seemed less outgoing.

"Sorry about that," the older man apologised. He was smiling, but his eyes appraised Dom keenly. He looked vaguely familiar; Dom remembered seeing him sitting at the Mindelan table the previous night. "I'm Anders- Kel's brother. This is my wife, Vorinna."

"Domitan of Masbolle," Dom gripped Anders' hand in greeting and bowed neatly to his wife. "A pleasure to meet you."

Anders eyed his youngest sister, who was now surrounded by children, and laughed softly. "They've lost their shyness," he commented to his wife, then turned back to Dom. "How rude of us. Domitan, these are our children- Lachran, Gavin, Isa, Brianna and Vo- short for Vorinna, that is."

A real grin spread across Dom's face at the sight of Kel and the children- the little ones were crowding her, the elder two, Lachran and Gavin, were holding back. "We always did call her Mother in the Third Company."

Anders laughed, feeling more at ease about his little sister's soon to be husband. "That's right, you were a sergeant there, weren't you?"

Dom didn't let the misery set in as he nodded in response.

Kel turned to Dom, Anders and Vorinna, her hazel eyes alight with fresh laughter, her cheeks faintly flushed. "Hi, Anders, Vorinna," she smiled at them, leaning over the children to hug both.

"So," Anders began, watching his sister anxiously. "How are you doing, Kel?"

For a moment, her face closed, but the next, she was smiling again. "Great. Really great. We should probably go inside, shouldn't we, Dom?"

Dom let her escape her brother's questioning. "Sure. Mother- that is, my mother- probably wants us back in."

Anders and Vorinna walked hand in hand in front of Kel and the mob of five children. Dom paced awkwardly behind them, his eyes on the ground, every so often flicking up to appraise Kel.

The shimmer on her left hand reminded him of all the impending problems inside.

_I don't want to hurt her, but I have to. I have to act, for Masbolle._

_The gold of the ring matches her dress AND her eyes..._

_Like sunlight. Captured sunlight. Or..._

_Mithros, talking with Meathead really HAS addled my brains. Captured sunlight? Admiring Kel? Something's gone badly wrong, did I drink anything that he gave me?_

Inside the house was a mass of Mindelans and Masbolles, all milling around, waiting to greet and converse with the couple.

"Dom, she's beautiful! Finally you've met someone! I'm so glad for you! You two are so sweet!" gushed Dom's great aunt, her eyes sparkling with honest delight. Kel, noticing that one of Dom's relations was talking to him, came to stand next to him.

Dom swallowed hard and reached down to pick up her hand gently. It was odd- before Neal had said anything, he hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary when he touched Kel- but now he could see it- the barely noticable pained flinch as he touched her, the flawless smile settling back into place swiftly. I'm sorry, he apologised mentally.

"Domitan," a warbling voice came from a corner. "Come here now, my dear boy!"

Horror poured into Dom as he recognised the speaker.

Grandma Masbolle.

"Here, Domitan!" Grandma Masbolle called again, her voice becoming annoyed. "Now!"

"My apologies," Dom bowed smoothly over his great aunt's hand and resolutely led Kel towards his grandmother, who was sitting in a red velvet chair, trying his very best to hide his fear.

"Well, well, well," the old woman's eyes raked Kel critically. "Not your usual style, I must say. Fatter, I think. Less made up. Less likely to drool all over you and pamper you. I like her!"

Beside Dom, Kel was struggling not to giggle until the damn_ truth_ of the woman's words set in. _"Fatter... Less made up..."_

Kel glanced down at her stomach, firmly strangled by her red and gold dress. Was she really fat?

It was true, she wasn't stick-slim, and she never didn't eat, but fat...?

_Compared to some_, she concluded bitterly. _Definitely compared to Dom's usual escorts._

But then again, in reality, compared to Dom's usual butterfly escorts, she was like a speck of dirty, ugly, unwanted mud.

Kel was brought back to the present at the sound of Dom's grandmother's voice.

"Well, are you going to introduce me, boy?!" barked Grandma Masbolle impatiently.

"O-of course," Dom stammered. "Grandma, this is Keladry of Mindelan- Kel. Kel, this is my grandmother."

"Good to meet you," Kel said politely, her mask completely taking over, accepting the old woman's outstretched hand.

"See, this one's better," Grandma Masbolle continued as if Kel hadn't spoken. "Doesn't giggle! Doesn't ask how old I am! No! Have you seen the house, girl?" she demanded suddenly.

Startled, Kel shook her head.

"And why not! You'll be living here after all! VINCE!" Surprisingly, Grandma Masbolle still had a very strong voice. "VINCE! Show 'em the house!"

Dom's elder brother from the previous night's dinner walked over neatly, arm in arm with a slim blonde.

_I wonder if Dom would rather be with her_, Kel thought bitterly, seeing Dom from the corner of her eye look at the blonde appreciatively. _A step up from the speck of dirt, I suppose._

"The house, Grandma?" inquired Vince, shooting Kel a toothy grin and winking at Dom. "Which part of the house, exactly?"

"Anywhere," replied the old woman dismissively. "The useful places... The kitchen. The lavatory. The bedroom." She let out a suggestive cackle before lifting herself painstakingly out of her chair and hobbling away.

The tips of Dom's ears turned slightly pink, while Kel could feel her face warming with embarrassment.

Vince chuckled slightly before turning back to his younger brother. "You know the house, Dommie dear. Go right ahead."

He whirled off with the blonde.

"Um, okay..." Dom's eyes flicked to Kel before flicking away again quickly. "I guess... I'll... show you the house.... then?"

"Sure," Kel replied, equally as awkwardly, trying her very best not to think about Grandma's last comment.

After seeing all the downstairs rooms, Kel and Dom finally got out of public eye once they climbed the large, elaborate staircase to the top floor. However, the awkwardness did not disappear.

"And this is the second lavatory..." Dom pushed open the door lightly, revealing a large bathtub and a very shiny chamber pot.

Kel nodded dumbly, at a loss of what to say. "Nice. Very nice."

They moved on.

"... Second bedroom... Third bedroom... Another bedroom..."

Kel fidgeted slightly. How many grandchildren did Lady Felicity want exactly?!

"... And the main bedroom."

This time, the door was flung open onto a large room containing a huge four-posted bed covered in blue and white sheets. There were two windows, providing ample light which glistened off the wood walls.

A very uncomfortable silence prevailed.

"So we have to live here?" Kel blurted out suddenly, instantly cursing herself for speaking. Now she sounded ungrateful, like the house wasn't good enough.

And, she supposed... it wasn't good enough. It was lavish, and probably every court lady's dream- that was for sure- but it wasn't going to make her happy.

Nothing would, not when she had to marry someone who didn't return her feelings.

"Yeah," Dom stepped inside the room, impulsively beckoning Kel in as well. "Damn, it's so good not to have to act. Let's stay here for a while."

He slapped himself mentally as he noticed the subtle flinch at his words and the distance in Kel's hazel eyes.

_Stupid. Very stupid. I need to learn to THINK._

She wandered over to the window; now he recognised the deliberate manner in which she was trying to unnoticably turn away from him.

He sat down on the bed heavily, guiltily.

"You're right," Kel agreed. "If they miss us, they'll only think that we're up to all the wrong things."

Dom winced at her words. Was what Neal said true? _"... but something you wouldn't have found repulsive before you realised that your betrothed found YOU repulsive..."_

"I'm sorry," he said honestly. "I was stupid last night... of course we can still be friends. It's just I... I'm..."

He had started the sentence so well, and now he didn't know how to finish it without hurting her.

"Forget it," replied Kel, her tone flat. "It doesn't matter."

The silence after was heavy and hanging.

"I hope the house is okay?" Dom offered tentatively.

"It's great," she murmured unenthusiastically. He snorted slightly at the contradiction between her words and her tone. "No, really. It is great. It's just the situation we're in isn't."

He nodded and tried to lighten the atmosphere. They had been friends before, hadn't they? And if what Neal said was true, then Kel had liked him then as well... but they had still been friends. So now, why couldn't they be the same as before?

_Because you have to MARRY each other_, announced a naggling, negative voice in the back of his mind. _Friendship... marriage. Children. Different._

"It's not like anyone was going to want to marry me anyway," Dom attempted to joke. "You basically saved me from becoming an old bachelor!"

It was odd how, right now, seeing Kel's downcast face, the only thing he wanted to do was make her smile. It didn't really matter how he felt, nor that losing his position in the Own was still a fresh hurt, nor that he liked slim brunettes, not Kel. He had to try and make her happy, if only for a fleeting moment.

A kind of strangled snort escaped Kel. "Yeah. Sure. Old bachelor, what with all the court ladies coming at you in swarms."

"They only wanted my family fortune..." Dom mock-grumbled, doing a very Neal-like gesture, and watching Kel from the corner of his eyes to see her reaction. "They didn't want me."

She laughed for real this time, even if it was only short-lived. "Oh, but Dom, you have such pretty blue eyes, surely they wanted those as well?"

"Of course they did," sniffed Dom. "My eyes reminded them of sapphires, hence the family fortune again. Greedy money suckers."

Kel giggled a little, the tense feeling in the room dimmed. "I see."

"Sit down, you may as well," Dom moved over slightly to make room on the edge of the bed closest to Kel, gesturing at the free space. "It's not like I'm particularly eager to go talk to my grandmother again."

Kel's grin faded slightly as she sat back down next to him, being sure to keep a large distance in between. "Your grandma's not that bad. She's... interesting."

Dom lifted an eyebrow. "Interesting... yes, certainly, she is that. Don't listen to her, though, she just likes embarrassing people."

Her face warmed at the reminder of Grandma Masbolle's last comment.

Silence reigned the air, and Kel's skin began to prickle awkwardly.

Dom was so close...

_It's incredible how you can still love him, even after he told you that he didn't love you_, a cold little voice snickered in the back of her mind. _Rather pitiful, I say. You saw him eyeing off that blonde downstairs. You heard the old woman. Fat. Unmade up. Incomparable to his usual escorts. Why do you even bother to care? _

She swallowed painfully, the ever-present tears pricking the back of her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time in the last couple of days.

And then suddenly they were flowing out, all over her cheeks, her face paint, her dress. She tried to wipe them off subtly and silently, but Dom looked over, his mouth opening slightly with silent surprise.

And the tears just kept flowing out endlessly.

"I'm-... sorry..." Kel choked, her misery and humiliation only becoming worse. "Sorry..."

Dom, oddly enough, was completely useless in this kind of situation. He'd never tried to comfort a crying woman before, let alone _Kel_, who _never _cried. Well, not in front of him anyway- she only cried in front of _Neal_, who wasn't here, and so _now _what was he supposed to do?

Dom placed a tentative hand on her upper back and patted it lightly. "Shh... It's okay..."

Even to himself he sounded pathetic.

If anything, Kel's sobs grew worse. She was being _stupid_, and _crying _in front of _him_, and he was _touching _her and he probably wished that he wasn't even _there_...

His warm hand rubbed circles on her back as she cried. "It's going to be fine..." He tried to say it convincingly- maybe if he said it enough, he'd believe it himself?

But how could he, when one of the strongest people he knew was now crying in front of him? He hated it, seeing her firm shoulders shaking with despair and her head bent with misery...

Desperately, Dom slid off the bed and knelt on the floor so that he could see her face. It was pink and tearstained, the minimal paint applied by Lady Felicity had run severely.

"Please, Kel, what's wrong? It's going to be fine, I promise, please..." His voice was creating a pleading rant, in that moment he sounded like a child. "C'mon, Kel, you never cry, please stop, tell me what's wrong, it'll be fine, please!"

He stood up again, running an anxious hand through his hair, and then sitting back down on the bed again and wrapping an arm around Kel's shaking shoulders.

Not even realising what she was doing, Kel turned so that she was facing Dom, who upon seeing her face again, was even more horrified and wrapped his other arm around her, so that her face was buried in his chest, and one of his hands was tangled in her curls.

"Shhh, _it's going to be fine_..." He attempted to sooth her yet again.

Slowly, her sobs eased and she took several, gasping breaths, calming herself.

"Mithros, Dom. I am so sorry. Please... just, forget that this ever happened," Kel got up quickly, breaking his physical hold on her. "I was being stupid, really, I'm sorry..."

And with that, she fled the room, humiliated, miserable and sick.

Sick of pretending.

* * *

It was only far later that Dom realised the utter stupidity of his words. "_Tell me what's wrong... it'll be fine!"_

He knew what was wrong... And he also knew that he was part of the wrongness, so how could it ever be fine?

And what he had done, too! Hugged her! What would that have done to her already shattered feelings?

He sat down on his bed wearily and tugged off a boot, placing it neatly next to his bed. The other one went off too, and Dom lay back tiredly, closing his eyes, wishing...

Well, actually, he didn't quite know what he was wishing for. Happiness? None of this to have ever happened?

Yes, perhaps that was it.

Dom dozed finally, his mind firmly blocking out the final announcement that his mother had made at the Masbolle party.

_*FLASHBACK*_

_"And we've finally set a date for the wedding!" Lady Felicity gushed excitedly._

_Kel, standing next to Dom, had her head bowed slightly- Dom noticed that she must have re-applied the facepaint, no evidence that she had been crying was visible. At Lady Felicity's words, Kel's head jerked up ever so slightly, her shock showing in her eyes._

_This was news to both of them._

_"We have decided," Felicity continued. "that Domitan and Keladry will be married on the fourth day of next month!"_

_Dom's fingers clenched at his sides- why had his mother not prepared him for this? Next month? Why so soon? He needed more time! More time to ..._

_To... _

_He didn't know what to, but at the state of things between him and Kel, this was destined to be a failing marriage._

_And for the pride of both Masbolle and Mindelan it had to work._

_But next month?_

_It made it seem more final than it had before, more, well, likely to happen. Before it had just been "oh, yes, you're marrying Kel before next Midwinter..." But now it was "oh, yes, you're marrying Kel NEXT MONTH!" _

_It was set; his future was determined for sure._

_*FLASHBACK END*_

A poke in the stomach made Dom wake up in a relatively painful way.

"Ouch," Dom groaned. It was dark, he felt around to light the candle lying on his floor.

A green flame lit up the candle and passed it neatly to Dom, who didn't have to squint to recognise his visitor.

"Meathead," he grumbled, resting his forehead against the wall tiredly. "_Why_?"

"I was speaking to Kel..." Neal began slowly. "The party sounded..._ interesting_."

"It was," Dom confirmed quietly. "Honestly, Neal, I _didn't mean to hurt her_. I was trying to be her friend, like normal, but then..."

It was strange how two people who always appeared to be fighting and teasing each other could understand each other so well.

"I know. And I kind of thought about it-" Neal hesitated, and then stopped obviously. "No. Never mind."

Curiousity aroused, Dom narrowed his eyes specutatively. "What?"

When Neal only shook his head, Dom motioned for him to go on. "Come on, Meathead. Spit it out."

"Well... You know why Kel's unhappy, right? Because she likes you, but you told her that you didn't love her, and now she thinks that she's not worth loving, and obviously she doesn't want to get married at all?"

Dom nodded, not seeing exactly where this was going.

"And you know how you have to marry Kel and live with her for the rest of your entire life?"

Dom winced slightly at how Neal had put that, but nodded again.

"And you know how-"

"Neal, shut up!" exclaimed Dom in frustration, sick of his cousin's cryptic questions. "Just say it clearly!"

Looking insulted, Neal sniffed a little before continuing. "Fine. But anyway, what I figure is, that at least one of you can be happy when you're married, right?"

Dom narrowed his eyes with confusion, too puzzled to bother Neal about his use of another "right?". "What do you mean?"

"Let me rephrase that," Neal said smoothly. "Kel likes you, but you don't like her. Correct?"

At Dom's tiny, guilty nod, he went on.

"And she'd live a happy life if she thought you loved her and that this marriage wasn't a torture for you, right?"

Dom's entire being seemed to freeze and his heart pounded faster in his chest as he finally understood where this was going. "You want me to pretend to love Kel."

Neal nodded his head slowly. "She _needs _this, Dom. She needs to know what she's worth. And you're the _only one_ that can make her feel loved, now."

Dom buried his face in his hands.

Sensing that his cousin's resolve was weakening, Neal tried again. "I know it's a lot to ask. It's like... asking you to sacrifice your happiness for hers... But she deserves it. She needs it. You've already had it all- you've had all the beautiful women, and you know that you're worth their affections and you've been told that someone loves you like that before...

Kel hasn't. She's never experienced anything like that. No one can go their whole life without knowing that someone loved them, they simply could never be happy. If you won't just do it for me, or for Kel... think of it as some kind of noble war act. Please, Dom."

Flashes of Kel went through Dom's mind at the speed of light. Kel laughing, smiling, swinging her small niece around, seriously discussing war plans with Raoul, carrying the baby griffin- scars laced all up her arms-, riding next to Cleon of Kennan, who glared at Dom angrily when he talked to her, holding her glaive in an incredibly dangerous manner, walking into Blayce the Gallan's castle, her head high and her jaw set...

Then finally, Kel sobbing uncontrollably that afternoon, her head buried into Dom's chest, her shoulders shaking, looking so fragile and broken...

He had the power to make her happy.

Or...

He had the power to let her hurt go on.

_"It's like asking you to sacrifice your happiness for yours..."_

_"... It's so good not to have to act..."_

_"... my entire life for someone I don't even love!"_

_"If you won't just do it for me, or Kel..."_

_"... some kind of noble war act..."_

_"... that Domitan and Keladry will be married on the fourth day of the next month!"_

_"Tell me what's wrong... It's going to be fine..."_

_"I'm really sorry, Dom..."_

___"You're the only one that can make her feel loved..."_

Domitan of Masbolle took a deep breath, and his answer reflected what Neal wanted so badly to be true.

"I'll do it," he announced resolutely.

_**A/N: Oh. My. Gosh. There is only one thing to be said here: I AM A TERRIBLE UPDATER! Seriously, it has been SO long, and once again, I am SO sorry. This chapter is fairly long... So I hope you like it...**_

**_And Dom is nicer in it too :)_**


	6. Ch 6: Groom

It was only just light when Dom headed towards Kel's rooms, holding a pale blue flower that he'd found on the palace grass that morning.

The time had come.

It was odd; how a sick feeling of nervousness was swelling in the pit of his stomach. He kept telling himself that this wasn't real, that there was no need to feel like this, but the feeling still didn't go away.

What was he scared of, anyway?

Rejection _shouldn't_- _wouldn't_- hurt, not from _Kel_, simply because he _didn't_ feel that way about her, and besides, Meathead was _convinced _that Kel liked him, so there would be no rejection to worry about. _Right?_

He arrived at her door and knocked lightly, attempting to swallow the fresh fears that were arising.

It was for the best. Kel would be happy. She needed this.

The door opened, revealing Kel's face, which was oddly stony and cold.

"Dom," she greeted him flatly, without any surprise or emotion.

The knot of nervousness increasing, Dom offered her the flower, which she stared at for a moment, but didn't take.

"It's for you," he explained unnecessarily; if he'd been looking up at her face instead of down at the ground, he would have seen it crumple with misery for one split second.

By the time Dom looked back up, it was smooth and hard again.

"Thankyou," Kel muttered, taking it from him lightly. "It's very... nice of you."

He narrowed his eyes perceptively at her. What was wrong? Sure, she'd cried in front of him yesterday, but if she actually liked him, shouldn't she be excited that he'd brought her a flower?

_Maybe Neal lied,_ a nasty little voice came at the back of his head. _A joke, a prank to make you look foolish._

Dom shook it off, surely even Neal wouldn't play a prank like this. Not if it involved _Kel_.

And besides, he'd seen those small flinches whenever he touched her as part of their act- evidence.

Unless... she was only repulsed by _him_, not by having to act?

Dom made himself calm down. Kel liked him. Neal had said so. He had seen it for himself. And besides, he didn't feel the same way, so it wasn't like it actually _mattered_.

And so he began- that nervous confession that he'd practised at least five times in front of the mirror that morning. It hadn't improved- it was still stumbling, hesitant- and he didn't know why. He was usually so smooth with women, but not this time.

"Kel... I came to say..." Dom suddenly realised that he was still standing out in the corridor, having not been invited into Kel's rooms. "Can I come in?"

"That would probably be for the best," Kel opened the door wider and stepped back, revealing herself to be clad in breeches and a light shirt, her feet pale and bare.

Dom was still too jittery to register anything but what he had to say.

"I came to say..."

She waited expressionlessly, her mask held very tightly into place.

"I mean that... I really... I think you're..." he ground to a stammering halt, feeling his cheeks flush with embarrassment. Why was this so hard? It was only Kel. It was like a court play. He knew his lines, he knew what he had to say. So why couldn't he just get it out?

He made himself look away from her face, and instead returned his blue gaze to the ground. It was like practising in front of his mirror again. He could do it.

"I really like you, Kel. As in, as more than a friend. I only realised it yesterday, but now it's so clear... I was so stupid. I think... I think..."

These final words caught on his tongue, Dom made himself press on.

"I think that I love you."

As his eyes travelled back up to her face, he didn't really know what exactly he expected as a response. A smile? A kiss? Perhaps. Either way, what happened was the complete opposite.

Kel's calloused, strong hand connected with Dom's cheek with a sharp _crack; _her slap stung.

Confused and hurt, Dom jerked his now watery gaze up to meet her own hazel eyes, which he noticed with a shock, were again brimming with tears.

She shook her head slowly and blinked several times to try and clear her eyes, with no avail.

"I... don't understand." Dom managed, an incredible feeling of despair settling over him. It was like the only thing he could concentrate on was Kel's face, everything around her was blurred and insignificant. _Why had she slapped him? _It was clearly some form of rejection.

Kel sighed faintly, the corners of her mouth twitching up in a pathetic attempt at a smile, which only ended up looking bitter and harsh.

"It was nice of you to try, Domitan, but I heard you and Neal talking. And I don't need either of you to try and _act_ to make me happy."

_Domitan._

The use of his full name- a word that he'd _never _heard come out of her mouth- pained him more than any slap.

He stared at her, still half uncomprehending. "You... _heard_?"

Her jaw tensed at the confirmation that they actually _had _been talking about her, and she nodded minimally. "You didn't realise that my mother's rooms are on the same corridor as yours. I left her rooms last night and I didn't mean to overhear anything, but when I walked past I heard my name... So I listened."

Dom's head spun; it was like his world was being turned upside down. Everything he knew about him and Kel had just been completely shattered.

"But I... You... We..."

His mouth would not cooperate; the problem was that he didn't even know what words he wanted to get out.

Kel shook her head, brushing her overflowing eyes angrily with the back of her hand. "I guess you were trying to do it for my good. But I'm surprised you haven't learnt by now. I don't need _anyone_."

And as she pushed him out of the door, throwing the blue flower out after him, the only thing that Domitan of Masbolle could process, was that that had been the first time any woman had rejected him.

Mithros, it _hurt_.

* * *

Dom sat on his bed numbly, his head propped up firmly by the wall behind him.

He couldn't help it- the scene with Kel just kept replaying over and over in his head.

_"I'm surprised you haven't learnt by now. I don't need **anyone**."_

It was those last words that hurt the most out of everything.

_"I don't need **anyone**."_

He stared bleakily at the blank wall in front of him, and heard the steel undercurrents in Kel's voice, as she said it again in his head.

_"I don't need **ANYONE**."_

Swallowing harshly and shaking his head at his stupid behaviour, Dom forced himself to sit up properly, feeling that odd depression settle in again.

Why was he so upset?

He didn't _actually_ love Kel- of course not.

Maybe it was the fact that he knew that they could never be friends again that was hurting so much. Kel could never forgive something like that- even knowing that Neal and Dom had simply wanted to make her happy.

And maybe it was the fact that his pride was wounded, again. First Ilane's words "... s_he doesn't **want** to marry you..."_ had bothered him and now his pride was screaming at Kel's rejection.

Stupid, incredibly stupid.

A heavy knock on the door came and Dom winced, knowing perfectly well who would be coming to check on him. "Go away, Meathead. Now's not the time."

He really didn't feel like talking to Neal- who'd try to give him some more _chance_ stuff, or some other rubbish. He just wanted to sit and mope for a-

Mope? He wasn't _moping_. Why would _he_ be moping? He was fine. It was _Kel _that would be moping, because _she_ was the one that cared in a more-than-friendly way, _not him_.

"It's not Neal," came a familiar, slightly amused, deep voice.

Dom jumped up instantly and hurried to open the door, revealing Lord Raoul, his head almost scraping the top of the door frame.

"M'lord," Dom went to bow respectfully but a large hand on his shoulder halted him mid-bow.

"You're not in the Own anymore, Dom. You don't have to bow like that anymore."

Those words of truth stung a little, but somehow didn't bring on a flood of self-pity like they would have several days ago.

"Come in, then," Dom stepped back from the door, allowing Lord Raoul to walk past him and sit heavily on the small wooden chair at Dom's desk.

Dom himself returned to his seat on his bed, looking at Lord Raoul expectantly. He wasn't really surprised to see him here- after all, Lord Raoul had been Kel's knight-master as well as Dom's commander.

"I guess I understand why you had to leave the Own," Raoul said finally, his brown eyes fixed on Dom's face.

Dom nodded slowly. "Yes, m'lord. Family... duties, I suppose you could say."

"Marrying Kel," confirmed Raoul bluntly. "Not your usual style of woman, I must say."

"Not my choice, really," Dom muttered, the words similar to what he had told Neal what felt like so long ago. _"My life is ruined. Everything is... I'm betrothed, that's what's wrong! My mother arranged a marriage for me when I was young, and not just with anyone! With Kel! ... We're friends, and she's a great person... but like that?! No!"_

Raoul's keen eyes appraised him seriously. "Arranged, then?"

"Of course," replied Dom, confused. "Wasn't that in Mother's announcement?"

Raoul shook his head.

"Oh," Dom muttered uncertainly. The thought of Kel now made him feel strangely cold and numb, like there was something missing, like there was something that just should be there... but wasn't.

"Have you talked to her?" Raoul's keel eyes appraised Dom knowingly.

Dom nodded reluctantly. "It didn't go very well."

_Now that's the understatement of the century_. _More like, it was a total and utter disaster. Mithros, she's never going to want to see me again._ Dom's throat tightened slightly at this fresh thought.

"I know that none of this is your choice," Raoul began. "And I know that you're not married yet. But please, Dom, I'm begging you, don't continue with your usual women practice... Seeing you with other women, before or after you're married, it would kill Kel..."

He trailed off, his brown eyes intently fixed on Dom's face.

Dom nodded numbly, a distant part of him wondering how on earth Lord Raoul knew about Kel's feelings for him. Or perhaps, former feelings for him...

"I know. I know that she likes me. And I won't."

Raoul's face registered some surprise at Dom's words, but he nodded slowly. "And Dom... It really won't be that bad. Kel will be good to you, you were always friends before... It's not the end of the world. Not at all."

Dom managed a faint smile and a nod before Raoul departed.

He sank down onto his bed yet again, running his hand through his thick, dark hair.

Raoul had no idea, really no idea, how bad their marriage really would be- what with the bride full of hatred and fury for the groom, and the groom...

How_ did _the groom feel?

_**A/N: Hey guys, so sorry about more lateness (stinking computer broke + internet down + BACK AT SCHOOL :'() and that this chapter is kind of boring! I think it's necessary though, so yeah.. :) **_

**_By the way! Thankyou SO SO SO SO uncomprehendingly much for all the awesome reviews!!!! I was so happy, I got so many more than I expected so thankyou all SO much!!! _**

**_Plus- I'm really sorry that I actually didn't end up replying to them! I had so many that I like read them all and now they're sitting in my inbox, clogging it up *blissful sigh* :D_**

**_-Storm._**


	7. Ch 7: Discovery

_**Hey all, chapter 7- REVISED. Thankyou to justletitshine for pointing out a very stupid mistake! Not necessary to read the revised version- but recommended that you read the conversation with Felicity again. Thanks! **_

It was several days before Dom roused himself to do anything other than sit in his room and mope- no, not _mope,_ he thought angrily. _Think_. Because it wasn't like _he_ was the one that cared, anyway.

He splashed some cold water over his face and made his way through the corridors down to the dining hall, hunger making his stomach grumble loudly.

It was during breakfast that he made his first mistake. Shovelling bread and bacon into his mouth as fast as he could, Dom lifted his head and scanned the crowd boredly, searching for Wolset, or Lerant, someone, _anyone_ to talk to.

Instead, he found a pale hazel-eyed face, several tables away, bent over a full plate. Her hands weren't anywhere near her knife and fork, she wasn't even attempting to eat. The seats near her were empty, and Dom impulsively stood, picking up his breakfast tray, and strode over to plonk himself next to her.

"Hey, Kel, ho-"

As soon as she took him in, she bolted, her eyes widening like a startled horse's. Kel practically ran out of the dining hall, bemused watchers staring after her and at Dom, who sat, his food suddenly tastless.

He cursed himself bitterly, how could he have been so stupid? He'd completely forgotten about everything that had happened. Well, he'd been thinking about it, and her, before he'd seen her, but the sight of her had drove everything _but _her from his mind and he'd just wanted to keep her company and-

And the conservatives would be wondering why on earth his betrothed had sprinted away at the sight of him.

Dom forced himself to grin and lift a hand at the starers. "Think she's getting nervous about the wedding. My mother's got her trying on about ten dresses a day!"

A few people chuckled, everyone looked away; Dom sighed with relief and made his exit. His hunger had vanished along with her, and now he didn't know what to do with himself.

* * *

It was around midday when he got the note. It was a simple piece of parchment with ten words scrawled onto it- _"Dom, need to see you now in my rooms. -Mother"._

Dom made himself sit up- he had been lying on his room's floor, staring at the ceiling, hoping to find answers.

There was nothing particularly enlightening up there.

Reluctantly, he walked to his mother's rooms, dreading what she would have to say. He knocked lightly on the door, hoping that she would have gone out or something, but it definitely wasn't his lucky day, and the door was opened.

"Hello, mother," he greeted Felicity wearily. She hugged him tightly around the shoulders and hustled him inside. The ordinary, calming smell of tea filled his nostrils and he felt slightly better until he noticed who occupied one of the three chairs in the middle of the room.

Kel. She sat stiffly, her back to Dom, holding a slim Yamani teacup in one hand. Her other hand was in her lap, clenching to make a fist, and then unclenching slowly.

"I thought we'd have a meeting," Felicity said, her tone becoming firmer.

Feeling like a small naughty boy, Dom settled himself into the chair that Felicity indicated, trying not to look at Kel, but failing miserably.

She looked unwell. Her skin was pale and her eyes shadowed by dark circles. She was wearing her favourite blue shirt, but it was baggier than he remembered. Or maybe she was thinner.

Felicity cleared her throat and Dom jerked back to the present, his face flushing slightly with the realisation that he had been caught staring.

"A meeting. Yes." He said hurriedly.

In any other time or situation, Kel would have found Dom acting like a guilty child amusing, but now it only made her cringe inside. She sipped her tea stiffly, trying to pretend that Felicity and Dom didn't exist.

"Masbolle," Felicity began sharply, "is a well-known and well-respected house throughout Tortall. Mithros, we're in the _Book of Gold_."

She paused, evidently trying to set this in both Dom and Kel's minds. "_The Book of Gold," _Felicity repeated, just to be certain. "It would be scandalous if it was implied, or shown, that the two of you are not a love match."

Stopping, the Lady of Masbolle took in Dom's blank stare and Kel's unfocused eyes, and sighed inwardly. It would seem that there was going to have to be a lot of elaboration.

"Mindelan," Felicity dragged out the word, and successfully captured Kel's attention. "Is not in any of the books. But it has a good chance of rising to join the Book of Copper, in time. This marriage is meant to benefit _both fiefs_. But as I said, it would be a huge and heavy scandal if it were found out that this is an _arranged_ marriage.

_You_," she addressed this to Kel, whose eyes widened, startled. "You are the only dubbed Lady Knight in all of Tortall. You hold a high position, and a position that there has been much difficulty in getting to. You are a _pioneer_ for _all women in Tortall_."

Kel stared at Lady Felicity, speechless and stunned.

Felicity didn't leave any room for another person to speak. "If it were suspected that _you,_ of all women in Tortall, had been _forced_ into an arranged marriage, like some _ordinary court lady_," here she paused for effect. "It would be _scandal_. Women all over Tortall would be devestated because they would think that their, their _independence_, their _freedom_, their _choices_ were going absolutely _nowhere_. You, Lady Keladry, have become Tortall's Lady hero... not only Tortall's, but other countries too. With you, women have _begun_ to be considered worthy of choosing their own futures. _I don't want this to change_."

Looking at the two again, Lady Felicity felt some relief in knowing that her message was taking effect.

"Kel," her tone was gentler this time. "If you want women to have more freedom, if you want them to be allowed to make the same choices you did, you have to be a strong, successful _example_. Your marriage must seem to be the happiness and joy that it is supposed to be. The court and the public need to see you spending time together... People have to see you together on normal days, otherwise they're going to wonder if you, well, have some kind of _motivation_ in marrying Domitan...

The conservatives would pounce on anything, _anything _to further ruin your reputation and stop other girls from becoming Lady Knights. If you won't do this for me, do it for the women of Tortall. You..." she paused, trying to choose her words carefully. "You used to spend a lot of time together. I'm sure it won't be too hard now."

_You have no idea,_ Dom thought, staring at his mother increduously. The fact was, Felicity really did not have a grasp on all the wild undercurrents of emotions going on in both Kel and Dom.

It hurt to admit it, even to himself, but Dom knew that despite his misgivings, Felicity was right- and that he also did not want all Kel's struggles and challenges in becoming a knight to go nowhere.

Dom was musing on this before he realised that someone was supposed to respond- and that Kel wasn't going to.

"Um, we'll... try?" Dom said carefully.

Kel sipped her tea numbly- she had absorbed everything Felicity had said with a kind of numb mind, and had now returned to trying to pretend that Felicity and Dom didn't exist.

"Good," Felicity relaxed into her seat. "Good. To start, I suggest a walk after lunch. A horse ride. Anything."

Kel suddenly came to life, her eyebrows knitting together into a glare. "Today? What? No. No, I won't."

Whereis Dom's bright blue eyes were usually found to be warm and friendly, Felicity's, over time, had taken on a steely and firm look.

Those steely blue eyes lifted to meet Kel's pain-filled hazel ones.

"Keladry?" Felicity said softly, drily. "I really don't think you have _any other choice_."

It came out as a barely contained threat, giving Dom a shock, but seeming to have the same effect on Kel as a whip to a slave.

Kel bowed her head in defeat, her brown hair swinging out from behind her ears to cover her face.

Lady Felicity was gazing at Kel almost sorrowfully, but with a certain amount of satisfaction in her eyes.

Dom, confused, looked between his mother and fiance.

Whatever had gone on, Dom certainly was not privy to it.

* * *

"Erm, Kel, would you like to come for a walk with me after lunch?" Dom called uselessly. Uselessly, because Kel walked quickly down the corridors, trying to pretend that Dom didn't exist.

"Kel? Kel? Kel! KEL!" Dom practically bellowed, sprinting after her. "Oh, Mithros, KEL!"

Kel was finding it rather hard to ignore him. "What do you want?" she demanded coldly, not even bothering to stop walking.

"I, I, I want... I want you to come for a walk with me!" Dom decided firmly, having no idea what he really wanted.

"Well I don't want to," Kel marched on unemotionally.

"But Kel, you heard what my mother said, I-"

Kel cut him off, spinning around to glare him in the face. "I know what she said, Domitan. And _I know what we have to do_. So how about you give me some space for a while?"

Confused but resolving firmly that he _was not hurt_, Dom let her go, standing uselessly in the middle of the hallway as she walked away.

_Women. What a nightmare._

_

* * *

_

He ate lunch, despite the fact that he really had no appetite. Neal sat with him, but neither of them talked. There was nothing to say.

It was after lunch, when he was sitting at the table about to pick up his tray to take it back, that Kel walked over, her face pale and emotionless. "Walk?"

Dom stared at her in shock. He had thought that she wouldn't come near him for the rest of the day, but here she was, asking him to go for a walk.

_Not really,_ said a nasty little voice in the back of his mind. _Mother basically ordered her to. It's not her choice. Or yours._

"Sure," Dom said, nonetheless getting up quickly and disposing of his dishes. "Let's go."

They strolled away from the castle- not touching, but Dom counted it a good thing to the public eye that they were together.

It was in the forest that it became all the more awkward. Kel led the way, taking a messy route through the forest until, finally, they reached a clearer patch where the sun shone dimly through the branches.

Kel sat wordlessly, leaning against a tall tree. Dom followed suit, a safe distance away. He gazed up at the blue splotch of sky showing through the trees until he became painfully aware of Kel's hazel eyes appraising him closely.

"You don't know, do you," she said flatly. It wasn't even a question, it was a statement of fact.

Dom frowned. "Know what?" His mind worked through what he might be supposed to know. _Birthday, Midwinter, Midsummer, wedding...?_

Her mouth twisted up into a kind of bitter smile. "Forget it. You'll find out soon enough."

Dom took in these words, along with her pained smile and hurt, miserable hazel eyes, and really _thought._

He looked at her, and it came to him- a discovery made far too late, something that he should have seen from the very beginning. It was like the recognition of a fact that he had long been aware of- but now, finally, he was acknowledging it.

_I love her._

At first those words hovered in his head with a kind of blissful ecstasy, a pleased wonderment- but then Dom's current situation soured the words and turned them black and bitter.

_A week ago,_ he realised, with a horrified jolt. _This would have been amazing... She loves- loved- me, and we could have been happily wed with no concerns..._

Images rose in his mind, images of what he had done to her ever since he had discovered that they were betrothed.

_"And I'm not betrothed to just anyone. I'm betrothed to **Kel**, for Mithros' sake!"_

_"I hate the fact that I'm betrothed to you!"_

_"I have to give up my career, my entire life, for someone I don't even love!"_

_"Can we still be friends?" ... "We can try."_

_But now? _Dom thought as he watched Kel.

_I've done too much, I've pushed her away, I've broken her heart... I've ruined her. How could I have done all this?_

His chest was filled with a cold misery that refused to let him speak. He choked silently on his own thoughts for a couple of moments, before he collected himself.

_I love her. I love her so much. And I've treated her so badly. This has to stop. I have to... be her friend again._

"No, you tell me," he said gently, blending back into the conversation as best as he could, his mind still aching from the revelations.

Kel lifted her hazel eyes up to meet his stonily. "My father is _dead_," she said bluntly.

Stunned yet again, Dom stared at her numbly. "No, no, _what_?"

Her head slumped and her shoulders curved inwards, shaking uncontrollably. It took Dom several seconds to work out that she was sobbing in utter silence, trying not to show him her grief.

"How?" he said. Uncertainty filled him- he had no idea whether he should move forward to comfort her or whether that would only make matters worse.

"Scanran bandits," Kel managed through her sobs. "They, they caught him on the roads and killed him for his money bags. For his _money_!"

Dom swallowed heavily, his mind completely empty of what to say. Comforting had never been his strong point, especially not when he'd badly hurt the person who was upset.

"Kel," he began quietly but with determination. "I am so, so _sorry_."

She sounded like she was choking, like she was drowning in misery. Dom couldn't bear it any longer.

Once again, Keladry of Mindelan found herself feeling like a complete idiot, sitting with Dom's arms around her as she sobbed pitifully. One of his hands rubbed gentle circles into her back, while the other rested lightly on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Kel," he whispered. "If I could do anything... If you need anything... _anything_."

"You can't." The words were so faint through her hiccupping sobs that Dom almost thought that he had imagined them.

Her sobs eased gradually and her arms reached up to push him away. Dom let go quickly, realising that the time for comforting had ended- any more, and Kel would feel stupid.

She brought a resolute yet tearstained face up to look at his own. "You see why this has to work now. Father was managing all Mindelan's accounts, and it turns out that they aren't as good as he told us. Our money's gone... My father's gone. Your mother promised us..."

She trailed off miserably, but Dom got the general gist. Another puzzle piece clicked into place and he drew in his breath sharply.

"Is that why... Is that why mother said that she really didn't think you had another choice?" He was furious at the thought, to him it seemed like a low comment designed to hit Kel hard and bring her down.

"I guess," Kel nodded her head, biting her lip miserably. "It doesn't matter. She's right."

Dom, his thoughts unhappy and distant, knew with a sick kind of certainty that his mother _was_ right.

This marriage had to work, for the sake of Kel's fief and family, and for the women of Tortall.

Kel would do anything for her family. Including putting on a brave face about marrying him.

And Kel would do anything for her country, for Tortall- including keeping up the happy act about their marriage.

**_A/N: Chapter 7, aren't you proud? I know it was a horrible gap between chapters, and for that I'm seriously sorry! Hope you enjoyed this one, and I hope to have the next one up ASAP!_**


	8. Ch 8: Hint

**Arranged: Chapter 8**

Dom stood somewhat uncomfortably in his best black tunic next to Piers of Mindelan's open grave, his freezing hand clasping Kel's lightly. It was the graveside memorial, and the priest was intoning something solemnly, while the whole Mindelan family watched, their faces numb. The wind blew, frisking hair into eyes and making the whole party shiver.

Ilane, Dom thought, glancing across, was a truly incredible woman. She stood like a stone- cold, unmoving and unemotional- while her husband lay dead not a metre from her. Kel's sisters were not as refined. They were both weeping softly into handkerchiefs, their eyes red and swollen.

Dom's eyes flicked to the woman standing next to him. Kel. She was calm, as always, but he thought he could by now see the grief written in her hazel eyes. He wished things were different, that he could offer her the reassurance he wanted to, but he knew that he'd lost that chance when he had hurt her so badly.

Still, he couldn't help but squeeze her hand gently, trying to communicate all the warmth and sympathy that he felt for her. She didn't move, didn't respond, and Dom felt his heart crash to the ground once again.

It had been two days since his mother had ordered them to behave like a couple; and two days since Kel's situation had become all the more dire. Despite the renewed urgency, they hadn't really spent much time with each other. Kel had been busy with funeral plans and family business while Dom had watched from a distance and tried not to hurt her anymore.

The priest finished his address and stepped back. The line of Mindelan family began to shuffle forward past the open grave, each person pausing individually at the side of the grave to pay their own respects.

Ilane was first, she halted, and Dom noticed her tense and bite her lip harshly- the first visible sign of grief he'd seen her give. She shut her eyes momentarily and took a deep, slow breath. Dom felt Kel stiffen at the expression on her mother's face, and tried to pulse calm through his hand touching hers.

After several moments, Ilane dropped a single white flower into the grave, murmured a few soft words in her melodic voice, and moved off- head high, shoulders straight and face wiped clean of all expression. The line moved forward.

When it was Kel's turn, Dom went with her. He felt intrusive at the occasion, not really being one of the family, and so bowed his head respectfully while Kel stared into the grave, her eyes glittering miserably. After what Dom gauged was the appropriate amount of time, he tugged her hand gently, and to his surprise, there was no resistance. Kel followed him away like a zombie, her face flat and her movements rigid.

The family had decided not to have a wake, and so Dom led Kel along the Mindelan estate, through the knee-high grass and to the clear, large lake that was close but out of sight of the funeral party. It was then that Kel came out of her daze and she yanked her hand out of his abruptly.

"Sorry," Dom said softly, opening the distance between them quickly with a sideways step.

Kel simply shrugged, her face cast away from him, looking at the open water.

They walked in silence for several moments before she said anything. "You can go, you realise," Kel stated expressionlessly. "No one in my family is going to notice- or care- that we're not together."

Dom swallowed dryly. "I'd rather stay, if that's alright with you."

She shrugged again and continued walking. He easily matched her pace with long, lean strides. He could feel the tension building between them in the air, and then it finally burst out.

Kel whirled on him, her black skirts lifting up slightly in the wind. "For Mithros' sake! Why can't you just realise, that was a hint!"

Dom bit his lip and tried to hide his immediate hurt. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that! You're not bloody sorry!" Kel snapped back. "You don't even care, so why can't you just leave me alone! Go away!"

Her words sliced Dom to the bone. He froze mid-step forward and simply stared at her for a moment. "You know that's not true," he said quietly, trying to find something, anything, to say to calm her down. "You don't mean that."

Kel's hazel eyes showed nothing but hatred. "You know damn well that I always mean what I say. I'm not the liar here."

With those final, cutting words, she stalked off through the long yellow grass, leaving Dom miserable, cold and so very, very alone.

* * *

Kel didn't bother glancing back to see if he was following her; she'd be able to hear him coming anyway, she figured. Besides, if he did follow, she could easily evade him. Growing up on the Mindelan estate, she'd learnt every hiding spot there was to know. It was her home.

But of course, she thought bitterly, dragging at her heavy skirts to untangle them from the grass, it wouldn't be her home for much longer- in fact, it wouldn't even be her family's home anymore, unless she got on with marrying Dom.

Dom. It was now that she chanced a glance back, and felt something almost akin to disappointment when she saw that he was nowhere in sight. Well, she'd succeeded in driving him away, at least. He who had thought he was being so damn heroic when he tried to pretend that he loved her back. Damn him. Damn Neal. Damn them all.

She continued walking, shivering at the cold and icy wind that cut through her dress and made her cold. After minutes and minutes of walking- and of untangling her dress- she finally reached a grove of tall, dark trees, which she stode swiftly into without hesitation.

After several twists and turns, Kel finally reached her destination- a large, bent tree, almost deformed into the shape of a chair. It was surrounded by other, taller trees and was invisible from outside the grove.

Kel sighed heavily and sat on the tree, leaning back and shutting her eyes. She breathed deeply in through her nose, and back out again through her mouth, relaxing silently.

"I'd forgotten you used to like coming her," a sudden, light, melodic voice made her jump, and Ilane melted out of the trees to stand beside her daughter.

"I didn't realise you knew about this place," Kel blinked up at her mother, who ran a hand gently through her daughter's by now long, brown-blonde hair. The stiffness went out of Kel's body and once again she relaxed, feeling like she was five years old again with her mother stroking her to sleep.

Ilane smiled. "I used to enjoy exploring this place, like you children did."

Kel managed a small smile in response.

Reading her daughter's expression easily, Ilane sighed and moved to sit next to her, placing a gentle hand on her back. "This marriage is really making you unhappy, isn't it."

Kel shrugged, attempting to summon up her Yamani mask. "It will all be fine, mother. After the wedding our funds will be fixed."

"I never wanted you to have to marry like this," said her mother, her face guilty. "I wanted you to have free choice. I wanted you to be happy."

"It doesn't matter," Kel said firmly, her tone laced with finality. "You know I'll do it."

Her mother bit her lip momentarily, considering, and then decided. "Darling, if it makes you feel any better, he really does love you."

Taken off guard, Kel jerked her head sideways to stare at her mother. "What?"

Ilane's familiar, gentle smile reappeared. "That boy. Domitan of Masbolle. The one you're betrothed to. He adores you, you know. It's obvious; you can see it every time he looks at you, and even when he doesn't."

Kel's eyes narrowed in disbelief and confusion, she blinked several times to clear her head. "He doesn't. I know it for a fact. The opposite, really."

Ilane shook her head slowly, and patted her daughter once more on the back. "He does, my dear. From the first time I saw him and you I knew. Maybe he hasn't realised it yet himself, but he does."

The wind blew again, its ice cutting right down to both women's skin. Ilane sighed softly, glanced across at her daughter, and stood. "Come on, dear. We should go back."

* * *

Dinner that night was cold- both figuratively and literally. Cold meats, salad and bread was served, and the atmosphere between Kel and Dom was even colder. Dom was incredibly quiet and although he managed to consume his food, he spent his whole meal glancing across at Kel's stony face, feeling guilty and hurt.

Kel herself couldn't bear to look at Dom. Everytime she caught a glimpse at him out of the corner of her eyes, her face heated up with an odd combination of fury, confusion and misery. She was still angry at him because she hated having to pretend to be so in love; miserable because she knew that he'd lied to try and make her feel happy, and so, so confused about her mother's earlier words.

It couldn't be true. Dom liked her as a friend, nothing, nothing else. She knew this; why else would Neal and Dom have been discussing how Dom would lie to her as some kind of heroic act? He didn't love her, and he never would.

Kel repressed a heavy sigh and stabbed a piece of cold chicken violently with her fork. Dom, sitting next to her, threw her a faintly alarmed look, which she ignored, looking away and painting on her cold mask.

Anders, sitting across from Kel, glanced at her with some concern, but the tiredness and worry lines in his face indicated that he would be too busy to question her later. Her other brothers, sisters and their husbands or wives seemed to be too absorbed in their own quiet thoughts to notice anything amiss.

After she had eaten what she could, Kel stood, her chair grating nastily on the stone floor as she slid it back. "Excuse me."

Dom looked up at her as she walked past, his blue eyes full of an unbearable hurt and worry that made her feel even worse. Several minutes elapsed before he also stood, wiping his mouth gently with a napkin and muttering a quick 'excuse me' as he strode in the direction that Kel had walked.

It was almost half an hour before he managed to navigate the Mindelan home and find the corridor that he and Kel's separate bedrooms were in. He counted carefully as he walked along the corridor and finally found the door that he thought belonged to Kel's room.

He knocked gently and waited.

"What?" came Kel's voice finally, a little croaky and rough. "Who is it?"

Dom chewed his lip nervously. "It's me."

Her tone was more tired and frustrated the next time it came. "If you're wanting a bath, we have a bathing room at the end of the corridor. On the left side."

"I don't want a bath," he crossed his arms over his chest, trying to hold back his worry. "I was wondering if I could come in."

There was a pause, and then he heard footsteps come to the door before it opened with a creak. Dom walked in tentatively, and Kel shut the door firmly behind him.

"You can sit down if you like," she said expressionlessly, indicating a medium sized bed covered in a vivid green blanket and a woven chair. Dom nodded as thanks and took a seat in the chair. Kel sat opposite him on the bed.

As he sat, Dom could think of absolutely nothing to say. He didn't even really know what he'd come to Kel's room with the intention of saying. It was simply that he hated fighting with her; hated knowing that she couldn't stand to look at him.

"I miss you," he said finally, letting his eyes flicker up to catch a glimpse of her face.

Kel stared at him momentarily, her hazel eyes large and somehow vulnerable. "I'm right here."

Dom smiled faintly. "I know. I meant that I miss being friends."

There was a long, oh-so-silent pause before Dom eventually got up to stand. "Goodnight."

As Kel watched him stand and begin the short, but seemingly huge, journey to the door, she sighed internally, knowing that she couldn't just let him walk away like that- his shoulders slumped, his usually mischevious blue eyes tired and hurt.

The guilt overwhelming her, she spoke. "I'm sorry."

He half turned, his mouth quirking up at the corners for a bitter smile. "It's not even your fault."

Kel thought of the laughter she had shared with Dom, the joking days of being Lord Raoul's squire, and how he had handed her a pastry the first time that they'd had to leave the palace late at night. She didn't know if she could stand to still be friends; not with her jumbled feelings, her mother's baffling and wholly untrue words, and Dom's attempted lie. But the look on his face was too much to bear. Hurting someone that badly was not something Kel could do, no matter how she felt about them.

"You can stay for a while if you like," she said softly, watching him carefully.

Dom exhaled air out of his nose heavily. "It's fine, Kel. I know you don't want me to."

She bit her lip cautiously. "Dom... that was a hint."

For the first time in weeks Dom managed what felt like a real smile at her. He walked back over and sat carefully in the wooden chair, his eyes never leaving her face.

Kel tilted her head downwards and took a light breath. "I shouldn't have said what I did today. I am sorry."

"Forget it," Dom replied quietly. "I shouldn't have acted the way I did when we first found out about... everything. And I shouldn't have tried to lie to you. I'm sorry."

His heart was hammering, he wanted so badly to reveal how he truly felt. Well, how he knew he truly felt, now. A week ago, saying that he loved her would have been a pretence, because he simply hadn't realised how he felt. But now, he could honestly say it. The problem was, would she believe it?

If he spoke up, Kel would only think that he was trying to pretend, again, to make her happy. She would be furious. And this tiny bridge that they seemed to be building up between them was fragile, but better than nothing. He didn't want to hurt her, not again, not like he had before.

His mouth, slightly opened in preparation, shut again with a little click. He couldn't, he wouldn't, she wouldn't be able to handle it.

Much to his surprise, in his period of thought, Kel had flopped back onto the bed, her hair in disarray around her face. She ran a hand over her eyes and forehead tiredly. "Promise me you won't do it again."

Dom stiffened, worried. "Won't do what?"

She glanced at him. "Promise me that you won't ever lie to me again. Even if it makes me miserable, promise that you will always tell the truth."

His throat tightened with alarm. "I promise..."

She nodded, satisfied with this.

"But promise me this," he said uncertainly. "Promise me that you will believe me, no matter what I say. Because I will always tell you the truth."

This made her sit up again, confused, and stare at Dom curiously. "What would you be telling me that I wouldn't believe?"

He blinked at her, looked away, and stood up once again. "I don't know." He winced mentally, realising that he had just in fact broken the promise of always telling the truth. But the truth in this case would only result in more hurt, because she wouldn't believe him, no matter what. _Promise me that you won't ever lie to me again. Even if it makes me miserale, promise that you will always tell the truth... Promise me that you will believe me, no matter what I say._

_"_Sorry Kel," Dom blurted out guiltily, practically jumping out of his chair. "I really do have to go to bed."


	9. Ch 9: Three

**Arranged: Chapter 9**

**3 weeks to go**

The next morning it was pouring rain, the air outside bitterly cold. Dom woke early, his sleep not having been particularly peaceful or restful. He found a pitcher of on a table in his room and splashed his face with the cold water, hoping that it would make him feel a little more awake. It didn't work.

He made his way out of his room, into the corridor, and down to the dining room. It was with a certain amount of self-satisfaction that he arrived in the dining room, without any wrong turns. Ilane was already sitting at the head of the dining table, steaming bowls of food laid out near her. Seeing Dom, she gave a small smile and indicated the chair on her left for him to sit in.

"Hello, Domitan," she said, her voice as melodic as ever.

"Please, just call me Dom," Dom sat down next to her somewhat nervously, unsure of what to say or what to do. He was also more than a little embarrassed at the memory of his last meeting with Kel's mother- he himself had been drunk while Ilane had been trying to talk to him about the upcoming marriage. He felt his face burn slightly.

"Certainly," Ilane passed him a laden plate of eggs, bread and meat, along with a knife and a fork. "How are you, Dom?"

The question, Dom felt, wasn't the superficial 'how are you' that most people asked. It was aimed deeper, meant to probe to find out his feelings about the wedding, his feelings about having to leave the Own- even his feelings about Kel.

"I'm fine, thankyou," he replied cautiously, hoping that he was avoiding the question neatly without being rude. "And you, my lady?"

The corners of her mouth curved slightly. "Really, Dom, you're going to be my son-in-law. You can at least make it Ilane. But thankyou for asking, I am well."

Glancing at her sideways, mid-bite in a piece of bread, Dom shook his head inwardly. Maybe she meant physically well, but no one could be _feeling_ parcticularly well if they had just suffered the loss of their husband.

Ilane continued speaking. "And I suppose it's only three weeks until the wedding, now, isn't it?"

By now swallowing his piece of bread, Dom choked at these words, his eyes bulging as he stared at Ilane, who looked as calm as ever.

"Oh dear," she said mildly. "Do have a drink." She passed him a cup full of water smoothly.

Dom managed to get the bread down his throat and sipped some water to ease his shock. "Really?" he asked, attempting calm. "Only three weeks?"

Three weeks. Dammit, that really was not good. Sure, he and Kel had reconciled slightly last night, but it wasn't nearly enough. In fact, it was nowhere near enough. They were going to be married, husband and wife, together forever, in a mere_ three weeks_.

Ilane sipped her own small cup of tea, her hazel eyes never leaving Dom's face. "That's right."

"Well," Dom tried for smooth. "That's very exciting, but we haven't gotten anywhere with preparations yet."

Ilane leant forward slightly and spoke softly. "All I want is for my daughter to be happy."

Dom swallowed hard and met her eyes momentarily. "I want that too, you know."

She inclined her head forward a little. "Then make it happen."

The sound of footsteps on the floor made Dom return quickly, guiltily, to his food, fearing it was Kel, who would surely be furious that they had been discussing her. He looked up, his mouth full again, to find that indeed it was- wearing a simple black dress, her face pale and tired.

"Morning, darling," Ilane smiled at her daughter, teacup still in hand, and took another sip. Dom nodded at Kel, trying to quickly chew through his mouthful so that he could greet her. Kel herself halted momentarily at the other end of the table, her eyes flicking around, uncertain of which seat to take. After a second of hesitation, she moved down to sit at her mother's right hand, opposite Dom.

"Good morning, Mama," Kel greeted her mother, her face smooth and without expression. "Hello Dom," she added, her gaze brushing over him quickly.

"Morning, Kel," Dom said after his mouthful was done. No one said anything more, and for a minute or two the only sound in the room was that of chewing.

Ilane stood fluidly, placing her cup down with a tiny _chink_, and nodded to both Kel and Dom. "Sorry to leave you so rudely." She didn't give a reason for her departure; just walked gracefully out of the door, bending to murmur something in Kel's ear on her way.

Kel concentrated on the food, which to her was about as tasty as a piece of parchment. Dom, after looking up at Ilane's departure, with some curiousity at her whispered words to Kel, had also returned to the vital business of eating.

Making her way through a piece of bacon and eggs, Kel found herself staring across the table at Dom. His bright, usually dancing, blue eyes were focused on his plate, his strong jaw was moving methodically as he chewed. His dark hair was messy, curling over his ears and tanned forehead. An ache filled her chest; the ache of wanting and wishing for a closeness that could never come.

She pushed her plate away, appetite suddenly lost, and it was then that Dom looked up, raising one eyebrow in question.

"I'm not really very hungry," Kel said as an explanation, attempting a small smile.

Dom smiled back at her tentatively. "The food here is definitely good."

Kel nodded in vague agreement, quickly tearing her eyes away when she realised that she was still staring at Dom, and he at her. She sipped her cup of juice awkwardly until a question formed in her mind. "Dom, do you know when we have to go back to the palace?"

His heart warmed slightly at the sound of his name from her lips. He hadn't heard it in her soft, smooth voice for what felt like weeks. Realising that he was letting a ridiculous grin spread across his face with pleasure, Dom quickly replied before he looked like a half-wit. "I don't know. Whenever you want to go back. You can have as much time as you need here, of course."

She nodded slowly, her mind elsewhere, wondering about her father's unfinished business, his belongings, her mother, the estate...

Dom cleared his throat hesitantly. "Kel..."

She looked at him questioningly.

"It's only three weeks until we're married," Dom said bluntly.

Her eyes widened, her mouth opened a little, and out of it came a small "oh".

Dom shut his eyes so that he could concentrate and continued in what he had rehearsed in his mind. "We're going to be husband and wife in three weeks. I meant what I said last night, I miss you, I miss being friends." He made himself open his eyes again to gauge the look on her face. It was unreadable. "You've always been there for me Kel and I don't want that to change, even if we are getting married. I was wondering... do you think maybe...?"

The hopeful look in his blue eyes had Kel's heart racing, her feelings a mix of sadness and that awful yearning. Maybe he had hurt her badly, maybe her mother had told her some confusing and definitely unture things about his feelings for her, maybe she had feelings that he didn't return. But nonetheless, Dom had been her friend through everything, he had followed her to Scanra, risking his own life. And now, she realised, looking at him, she needed him more than ever.

The silence from Kel indicated to Dom that this was useless, that there was no hope whatsoever. He looked down in defeat, disappointment and hurt crashing over him, the hope of ever re-earning Kel's love and convincing her of his feelings fallen to the ground and stamped on.

Kel leant forward and gently touched his hand. "Yes."

He looked up immediately, his eyes searching hers, not daring to hope. "Yes what?"

"Yes, I want to be friends," Kel said firmly, the words feeling like sweets in her mouth.

* * *

The rest of the day was spent indoors, this ensured by the constant downfall of rain. Kel and Dom used their time painfully, yet enjoyably, re-building their friendship, steering clear of subjects such as marriage and weddings. Dom helped Kel fix a leak in the roof. Kel showed Dom around the house and he heard about small sections of her childhood. Dom and Kel looked after Kel's nieces and nephews.

The subject of the wedding couldn't, however, be avoided all day. It was near to dinner that Kel finally broached it.

"Three weeks?" she asked flatly. "Only three weeks?"

Dom knew instantly what she was talking about, even though before this they had been discussing something completely unrelated. "Yes."

There was a slight pause, but Kel continued her train of thought. "I suppose there's a lot to do." She glanced across at him, sitting next to her, leaning against the wall. "What _do_ we need to do?"

Dom chose his words carefully. "You can do whatever you like. I'm sure my mother would be happy to organise guest lists and flowers and whatever else, but you need to make sure you choose whatever you want.

Kel considered this for a moment. "Your mother's probably already done everything."

Dom snorted humourously. "It wouldn't surprise me."

"But then again," Kel bit her lip nervously. "I guess you do only get married once."

"Better make it good then," Dom pointed out, a slight grin on his face. "We should get a really big cake."

Kel laughed. "And a good feast with three courses."

"And... a nice dress!" Dom suggested inventively.

Kel lifted her eyebrows at him curiously. "Oh, you're going to wear a nice dress to our wedding, are you?" The words 'our wedding' felt strange coming out of her mouth- it was the first time she'd been able to speak to Dom about their getting married, ever.

Dom blinked at her innocently. "No, I thought you might. Unless you want to wear breeches, of course."

She shook her head at him teasingly. "You'd let me wear breeches?" She was strangely, oddly touched at the suggestion, the acknowledgement that she was different from other women, and the willingness to let her choose for herself.

"Of course," Dom replied cheerily. "You'll look lovely no matter what you wear."

Kel found herself unable to tear her eyes away from Dom. A warmth had filled her, the kind of light feeling that only ever surfaced when with Dom, when things were funny and they were joking and everything was just so... good.

Dom returned her gaze steadily and felt the words that he so wanted to say bubbling up in his throat. He so wanted to tell her, to let her know once and for all...

_Don't do it. She's going to think you're lying again. You've built all this up again today, you can't just smash it again in three words._

"I'll never forget," he said instead. "That time on Progress."

Kel smiled at him broadly, her eyes dancing. "Which one?"

Dom could recollect this particular memory vividly. "We were riding together, guarding the supply train- the king had ordered us to rejoin the process. We were all annoyed, and I said to you, as if we wouldn't know to come back up. You said that we wouldn't have unless we were ordered to. It was true, but I told you that we shouldn't be treated like unruly children. Then you raised your eyebrows."

He paused for a moment, snorting out a laugh. Kel stared at him uncomprehendingly. "I told you you looked just like Lord Raoul when you raised your eyebrows. Maybe it wasn't very nice of me, but I couldn't resist it. The look on your face was priceless."

Kel elbowed him gently. "No wonder you get ordered around like an unruly child."

"Then," Dom continued, grinning widely. "What's-his-face, Kennan, that's the one, rode up just in time to hear me. He gave me a look that could freeze mud, and said "No, she looks like herself"."

She shut her eyes for a second and shook her head at Dom, stifling a small laugh. "I remember now. Then you said, 'does it seem cold all of a sudden? I believe I need a blanket'. And you rode off. You were so subtle!"

Dom suppressed a laugh unsucessfully, and Kel couldn't hold back a giggle or two. "Honestly," she said with amusement. "I felt like _smothering_ you with a blanket later."

"Do you miss him?"

The words came out before Dom could stop him, abruptly, the atmosphere changed from that of laughter to that of slight, uneasy tension. "Sorry," Dom said quickly. "You don't have to answer that. It's not my business."

Kel sighed softly and tilted her head across to watch him. "It's fine. And really, it is your business. We're getting married in three weeks." She stopped for a second but then continued. "Not really. I know now that we weren't really right for each other. He had his responsibilities and I have mine... But still, I knew that he loved me, and that was nicer than anything else."

Her words hung in the air, the complete, utter honesty in them making Dom want to lean over and kiss her right then and there. _I love you_, he wanted so desperately to say. _I love you more than he ever could, and I am right for you_.

He restrained himself.

"Have you ever had someone you really loved?" Kel asked suddenly.

Dom, all his efforts concentrated on holding back those words, answered somewhat distractedly. "No. Not really any one person."

Kel's blood turned suddenly cold, the warm feeling well and truly evaporated. She was talking to Dom- Dom, who had always been a well-known flirt, Dom who had probably always had proper girls with big eyes and pale, unscarred hands, and who could have had any number of them, what with his family name and looks.

"Of course," she agreed, her voice soft and colder. "Not any one person."

Startled at this sudden change of tone, Dom re-focused on the conversation and abruptly realised what he'd just said. "No! I didn't mean it like that."

Kel exhaled air in a small, bitter laugh. "It's fine, Dom. You don't have to lie about it."

"No," he objected quickly. "As in, I actually haven't. I haven't had a lot of girl-friends and I haven't ever had someone that I truly loved."

Her mouth twisted in disbelief and confusion. "I thought you would have."

He shook his head firmly. "No. Remember, I promised to always tell you the truth."

She nodded slowly, thoughtful and confused. "Yes."


	10. Ch 10: Past

**Chapter 10... yeahhhh!**

**But wait. Before we begin, a shout-out to _mischief. now .managed _**_(sorry about name spaces- FF deletes it without),_** just because today I opened my email inbox to find it clogged up with 'favourite story' notifications. Haha, I swear you favourited all my POTS fanfic! But seriously, thanks heaps to you and to everyone else who favourites, reads, and best of all, reviews my stories!**

**Arranged: Chapter 10: Past**

It was four days later that Kel found herself back in the palace- well, not really in the palace, she thought bitterly as the cart rattled down the streets of Corus, but rather, on the way to Lalasa's shop, accompanied by her own and Dom's mothers. The reason? A wedding dress. Or rather, her lack of one. Her mouth crooked up at the corners as she thought of Dom's earlier words: _"No, I thought you might wear a dress. Unless you want to wear breeches, of course."_

As the cart halted abruptly and Ilane, Felicity and Kel made their way out, Kel found herself wishing that it was only her and her own mother. Dom's mother was nice, she was sure, but the style of dress Lady Felicity had in mind was sure to be drastically different from Kel's own taste. She hoped that they could find a compromise- that is, a decent, modest, comfortable compromise. But it was unlikely.

Lalasa's face lit up in a large smile as she saw Kel walk into the shop. "Lady Kel!" She rushed over eagerly, only to halt and drop a quick curtesy to Ilane and Felicity.

"Lalasa, this is my mother, Lady Ilane, and Lady Felicity," Kel introduced them all neatly and the polite formalities were performed.

"And what would you be looking for today, my lady?" Lalasa addressed Kel, her brown eyes twinkling knowingly.

Kel swallowed, realising that the answer for the question was left completely up to her. No one was going to simply say what she needed or why she wanted one, she was going to have to say it herself. "I'm looking for a wedding dress."

She made the words come out smoothly and positively, her heart racing. _I'm looking for a wedding dress_. She was getting married, in less than three weeks, to her friend. For friend he was again, after the past three days of talking and spending time with one another. But he was nothing more, and he never would be, and although most of the time she simply managed to forget about all the hurt of the past few weeks, when she started thinking about getting married to Dom, that was all that surfaced to mind.

Lalasa, her smile practically bursting off her face, clapped her hands together lightly. "Oh yes! I heard rumours, my lady, but hearing it from you yourself, it must be true. How exciting! And the man is that rather handsome sergeant from the Own, isn't it, Domitan of Masbolle?"

Kel nodded dryly. _Rather handsome_. "It is indeed."

"I'm very happy for you," Lalasa said cheerfully. "But I have just the thing for you, my lady. When I heard you were getting married I hoped you would come here, and so I found a pattern just right. I have a sample that I made, and of course yours would be fitted and with any adjustments that you want, but..." She stared at Kel hopefully.

"Of course I'll try it on," said Kel at once. She was proud of Lalasa, proud of her new confidence and her skills, and all too willing to succumb to her friend's knowledge of clothes and dresses. Besides, Lalasa was more likely than anyone else to pick a wedding dress that Kel liked.

Kel, Ilane and Felicity, with the slightest raising of her eyebrows, followed Lalasa up the back of the shop, to the curtained off area reserved for changing. Kel slid inside while Lalasa picked up a box carefully and carried it into the change-room. Ilane and Felicity were left outside while Lalasa dusted off the box, opened the lid, and shook out a long, white garment, which she quickly hid behind her back when she saw Kel staring.

"No looking at it until you've got it on," Lalasa insisted firmly, her determination and stubborness enough to make Kel smile and obey her. Kel slid off her current, pale-blue dress (Lady Felicity had been insisting on 'no breeches to the city') and stepped into the white one, trying to keep her eyes shut while Lalasa pulled it up and began doing something complicated at the back that Kel presumed was in aid of keeping it up.

Finally, Lalasa, after straightening the dress quickly, stepped back. "You can open your eyes now," she informed Kel, who did so immediately.

Standing in front of the full length mirror, Kel found tears rising to her eyes. The dress was creamy white, floor length, the skirt wide to allow maximum freedom of movement. While the bodice was well-fitted, it wasn't uncomfortable, and she could actually breathe. The neckline, edged with golden threaded patterns, was low enough to show some skin, but high enough to preserve Kel's modesty. The sleeves were fitted at the top, but widened out to end at the mid-forearm. The back of the dress buttoned up neatly.

Kel loved it. It was her kind of dress, comfort combined with looks. And the thing that was making tears fill her eyes, causing her to blink quickly, was the fact that the dress fitted absolutely perfectly. A sample that she had made? No, Lalasa had created this dress with love, specifically fitted to Kel's measurements and made to make her feel at ease and beautiful, both at once.

Kel turned around to find a wobbly smile on Lalasa's face and hugged her friend tightly. "I love it. I love it. It's amazing, Lalasa!"

Lalasa returned Kel's hug shakily, taking out a handkerchief to blow her nose. "I wanted you to like it so badly. I can't believe you're getting married!"

_Neither can I_, Kel thought in horror, but she grinned back cheerily, and walked out to show Ilane and Dom's mother, her head held high. No matter what Dom's mother had to say about this dress, she was having it, not just because Lalasa had made it specially, but also because she liked it. _"We should get... a nice dress!" _Dom had said. Well, she hoped that he thought this was a nice dress. Or rather, she didn't, really, because it wasn't like they were getting married for real.

* * *

Dom strolled into the lunch room cheerily and spotted Kel already sitting with a full tray at her own table. He joined the line for food, loaded his plate high, and sauntered over to sit next to her, dumping his tray unceremoniously and rather loudly on the table.

Kel looked up with an easy smile, and Dom returned the grin. "How was dress shopping?"

Her mouth full, she chewed quickly and got it all down. "Good. Well, I think so, anyway."

Dom lifted his eyebrows teasingly. "Well, did you get a dress, or did you give up and go for the breeches?"

Her hazel eyes twinkled. "I gave up and bought a sack instead. I'm going to cut a head hole in it, don't worry."

Snorting through his mouthful, Dom elbowed her lightly. "Can I see it?"

"See what?" Kel teased. "My beautiful, mud-brown, sack?"

He rolled his eyes at her. "No, your lovely white dress. You can go put it on and then I'll get to see it."

Kel shook her head at him firmly. "I think the reason your mother forbade you from coming with us is because you're not meant to see the dress _until the wedding_."

He mock-smacked his forehead. "Oh, sorry, I forgot about that part."

Both continued eating in companionable silence, until a rather dishevelled and dirty looking knight marched over purposefully to join the two at their table.

"Hello, Meathead," Dom sighed in fake exasperation. "And what are you doing over this side of the mess hall?"

Neal narrowed bright green eyes at his cousin. "Well, I didn't come here to talk to _you_, if that was what you were asking."

Kel giggled softly at the two bantering, rolling her eyes when both turned to look at her. "Honestly, you're both like seven year olds. Can't you just get along?"

"NO!" said Dom firmly, even as Neal snorted "no", and both glared at one another.

Shaking her head, Kel sipped some water, and waited. She knew what Neal was here for- to talk to her- and she wanted to talk to her best friend about everything. She hadn't really spoken to him properly since just after the announcement of her and Dom's betrothal at the ball. Of course, she'd spoken to him briefly after her father had died, but that hadn't been the time to discuss everything with him. Especially not, Kel thought a bit grimly, about how he'd convinced Dom to lie to her about his feelings. She wasn't angry with Neal about that anymore, but it would be nice to let Neal know exactly how she felt about that.

"I came," Neal began in a superior voice. "To talk to our very own lovely Lady Keladry."

Dom glanced from Kel to Neal quickly. It was a tiny, nervous flicker of his blue gaze, but Kel noticed the insecurity in his eyes and tried to smile reassuringly at him. Maybe Dom was simply nervous because he didn't know what Neal wanted to discuss with Kel- for all he knew, it could be about him. Which, in some ways, it was- but not really.

"Does that mean you'll be wanting to take her away from me?" Dom asked, his tone wounded. "How dare you suggest such a thing!"

Neal grinned wickedly. "Quite, quite easily, cousin. Now really, Keladry and I must be going. We have much to discuss. Come along, my dear."

Biting back a laugh at Neal's characteristic ridiculousness, Kel stood and went to pick up her tray. Dom himself placed a hand on it swiftly and shook his head at her. "Leave it Kel, I'll take it up when I take mine."

Kel smiled back at him, her heart once again thumping at his kindness and blue, blue eyes, her mind automatically cursing her own stupidity. "Thanks, Dom. I'll see you later?"

The second statement was meant to be a simple farewell, but it came out like a question. Dom nodded immediately and, when she turned her head quickly to glance back at him whilst exiting the hall, lifted a hand to wave.

* * *

"So," Neal said, once they had walked far enough to be out of sight of the palace. "You and Dom are looking happy."

Kel shot him a sideways glance of raised eyebrows and narrowed eyes. "No thanks to you, Neal."

Neal widened his eyes innocently. "Whatever do you mean?"

Kel sighed. "You know what I mean. You convinced him to try and lie to me about his feelings."

At her depressed, tired tone, Neal bit his lip guiltily. "How do you know that?"

She smiled faintly at him. "I overheard your conversation. Some kind of noble war act? Really? It would be that much effort to love me?"

The look in her eyes told Neal all. He halted abruptly, turned away momentarily and then turned back, swiping a hand through his hair violently. "Kel..."

Shrugging, she sat on the ground, turning her face away from Neal quickly. "It doesn't matter anymore."

Neal continued regardless, because he knew her well enough to know that it did matter. It mattered a lot. "I didn't mean it like that, Kel. I wouldn't have even suggested it except that I know he-" He stopped abruptly, awkwardly, leaving a sharp silence.

"He what?" Kel asked flatly. "He hates this marriage more than anything else in his entire life?"

Neal stared at the grass for several seconds. "No, nothing like that. It's not really for me to say, anyway."

Kel glanced across at him disbelievingly. "You're honestly going to leave that cryptic sentence and expect me to be satisfied? I thought you might at least have the decency to tell me the truth now."

He exhaled heavily. "_Kel_. I want to. But it's not my truth to tell."

"If it's just about our marriage I think I know it already," Kel pointed out flatly. "Dom has made his feelings quite clear about it." She winced inwardly, remembering the disastorous talk they'd had in the garden after their first appearance together. _Do you think we can still be friends? ... We can try._

She shook her head, swiping the thought out of her mind. It didn't apply any more, everything was different since being at Mindelan again. She and Dom were good old friends- _friends_- again, and she wasn't going to let any old resentment or her own unreturned feelings to ruin that. Not when they were getting married in three weeks; not when she'd been enjoying Dom's laughing company for the last few days.

Neal's smile was all too knowing and superior. "I'm fairly sure he hasn't."

"I'm fairly sure you can't get much clearer than he was," Kel retorted, by now more than a little frustrated at Neal's refusal to tell her. "It's an arranged marriage that he doesn't want, but we're still friends. Just friends."

"He wants more," Neal finally spat out his much guarded secret. Seeing the utterly confused look on Kel's face, he continued quickly. "More than friendship, I mean."

Kel shut her eyes. She couldn't bear this, not again. First her mother, and now her best friend. "He does not," she said firmly, saying it to herself as much to Neal. "He doesn't. We've been through this before."

Neal shook his head, snorting faintly. "I can't believe that it's not obvious to you. Honestly, Kel, the way he looks at you, the way he acts when he's around you? He's gone. He had no idea how he felt about you but I told him to tell you that he loved you because I knew he'd realise it himself in time. Then you both could have been happy."

"Do you actually think," Kel began, her voice rising in surprising anger. She calmed it quickly, smoothing her mask over. "Do you actually think that Dom could be so stupid that he wouldn't realise if he loved me? He's a grown man, Neal, I'm fairly sure he knows his own mind."

"Kel," Neal's voice was somehow calm and soothing. "He may know his own mind, but he doesn't know his own feelings. He's almost certainly never been this close to any girl before. In fact, he hasn't. A few flirtations, and his career in the Own, that's all he's had. He's never been in love before."

His words struck Kel to the spot. Shocked and confused, she stared across at Neal for a moment before shaking her head firmly and resolutely. "You're imagining what you want to be true, Neal. I don't believe you."

Neal shrugged wearily. "That's why it wasn't my truth to tell. But you'll see."

* * *

Dom, swiftly dodging, lunging and slashing through his practice routine, ended it abruptly with a sharp stab forward, piercing his imaginary enemy's neck. He grinned with delight at the feeling of being physically active again, and dropped to the ground, stretching out to begin press-ups. His strong, tanned arms lifted him up and down again and again.

_49... 50... 51... 76... 101... 102... 103..._

"One hundred and four," a light female voice counted from the edge of the courts. "One hundred and five. Why, Dom, when we courted, I only recall you doing fifty in your routine."

Dom halted abruptly, closing his eyes momentarily before getting up and flashing his teeth in a white smile at the small, petite woman standing at the edge of the courts. "Alyssa. I didn't realise you were back in Corus." He wondered self-consciously and with some annoyance how long she'd been standing there watching him train. Long enough, it seemed.

Alyssa flicked her sleek, honey coloured curls back over her shoulders, returning Dom's smile slowly. "Yes, well, it's been a while, hasn't it now?"

He nodded, and suddenly realising, bent over to grab his shirt, discarded in one corner. He pulled it on quickly and awkwardly. "I suppose it has."

Her vivid brown eyes appraised him carefully. "I hear you're betrothed."

"That's right," Dom picked up his sword, tossing it up in the air several times, avoiding her eyes. "I am."

One of her perfectly plucked eyebrows raised slowly. "I never thought you'd be one to marry a woman like _that_."

At her tone, Dom glanced up sharply, his whole body tensing with defensiveness. "And what would you mean by that?"

She smiled slightly, her red lips lifting at the corners mockingly. "Oh, you know. So _manly_ looking, and not slim at all. Muscled, wiry, built like a blacksmith. And so plain!"

Dom's whole jaw flexed with anger. He looked down at the ground carefully before attempting a civil response. "Really, Alyssa, I can't see that it's your business. And anyhow, I'll thank you not to be rude towards my-... fiance." The last word was added awkwardly; he hadn't known what to call Kel- he'd been about to say "my Kel", and then had realised that that was perhaps not the most proper way to address her. And besides, he was still trying to hold back the burning anger at Alyssa's description of Kel. Of _his_ Kel.

_Well_, added a nasty voice in the back of his mind. _Not really yours, since you can't even tell her how you feel. She'll never believe you, she thinks you're a liar._

Alyssa dimpled, leaning over the fence so that her curls dangled forwards and her silky blue dress tightened around her figure. "Really, I can't see how it's not."

He arched an eyebrow in response, running a hand through his hair to move the dark, sweaty strands off of his forehead. "Like you said, it's been a while. Why would it be?"

"You would have asked me to marry you." Alyssa's words, accompanied by a tinkling laugh, had a hard edge to them. "You were going to."

Dom gritted his teeth, restrained himself. "The thought didn't actually cross my mind. But thankyou for the insight."

She tilted her head at him. "You're lying. I wonder why. Everyone said we were going to get married, it was just a matter of time."

He turned away from Alyssa, bent down to pick up his waterskin. As he did so, he froze, spotting a tall, muscular figure two courts away, her hazel eyes fixed over at Dom and his companion. Seeing him, she quickly turned away and began walking in the opposite direction.

Alyssa's laugh this time was full of amusement. "Oh, my. Is that her? I take it you didn't tell her about me. Dom, Dom, if anything, I thought your time with me would have taught you how to tell the truth."

Dom spun on her, his rage visible now, unable to be held back. "How dare you!"

She widened kohl rimmed eyes at him. "What? Mithros, she's even stockier than I thought. She should be marrying a giant, not you!"

Taking a menacing step towards her, Dom spoke as rudely and plainly as he had ever spoken to a lady before. Later, he would feel slightly ashamed at his rash words, even though the anger behind them still remained.

"Dammit, Alyssa," he practically growled. "I never loved you and I was never going to marry you. I'll thank you not to spread rumours about me, especially not now. And in future, do not insult Kel. You don't know her, and you almost certainly never will. You may look how everyone thinks a woman should look, but Kel is so much more than you ever will be."

With that, he stormed off, away from Alyssa, and away from his past.


	11. Ch 11: Sergeant

"Kel, wait!" Dom jogged after her hunched, swiftly retreating figure, and, seeing that he appeared to be losing this race, began to fully sprint, his sword and waterskin waving around uncomfortably. "Wait for me!"

She kept walking, but he kept sprinting, and eventually he caught up, clutching his side and puffing. "How much of that did you hear?"

Kel turned, and he saw with distinct dismay that her face was smooth and calm, her Mask firmly in place. "All of it, I think. I just came to see if you wanted to go for a ride, or something. I didn't realise you would be talking to someone. I'm sorry."

He stared at her in shock. "Why are _you_ apologising?"

She gazed back at him expressionlessly. "I'm apologising because I have no right to listen in to your private conversations. And so, I'm sorry that I stayed and listened. I shouldn't have." Turning once again, she resumed walking away from him.

Dom grabbed her arm and whirled her back around to face him. She ended up close to him, barely two inches away, her eyes stony this time. "That was not what you think it was."

"I don't think it was anything," Kel responded flatly. "Because I don't think about it at all. It's not for me to know."

The conversation she had overheard had clearly concerned her and Dom, of that she was certain. The girl? Kel didn't know who she was, but she was fairly sure that she could assume the slim, honey-haired lady had been something- or rather someone- of Dom's past. He'd never had anyone he'd truly loved? Then why had that girl said he was going to marry her? The questions in her head were killing her, eating holes in their recently healed friendship, Neal and her mother's earlier words making her even more tense and angry.

"It is for you to know," Dom insisted firmly. "You're going to be my wife. We're getting married in two weeks and what, three days?"

Kel forced her voice to be steady and her eyes to be empty. "We're not getting married for real, Dom. This isn't for love, it's for our families. It would probably be best for both of us if we remembered that."

He let go of her arm, hurt, guilt and misery coursing through him. Her tone was so assured, so certain- could it be possible that she really didn't love him anymore? After all that he'd put her through, could it be that she'd simply fallen out of love with him, that he no longer held the attraction that he once had for her? When Neal had told him to pretend to love her, he'd done it, knowing that she did love him. But maybe, after the pain and hurt he'd caused, she no longer did.

His heart went cold at the thought, but as she went to walk away yet again, he made himself speak. Not a declaration of love, because there honestly couldn't have been a worse time for such a thing, but a protest.

"We're friends, though," Dom insisted, his voice sounding uncertain and unsteady even to himself. "We're getting married as friends. And I want you to know, whatever you think I have with Alyssa, it's not true."

Finally pushed beyond her level of control, Kel twisted back around to meet his eyes. _Alyssa_. A name for Dom's past. "Then why did she say you were going to marry her?" Kel practically spat in his face. "Why did she say that? Why did you say you'd never truly loved anyone?"

"I wasn't going to marry her," Dom kept his voice calm and smooth. "I courted her for a while, when I was, oh, probably about nineteen. She was seventeen and we were both so young and inexperienced. She'd just made her entrance to court that year, and she approached me at a ball and that was how it all started. It was convenient for both of us- she thought I was the world and I thought she was pretty enough. But I didn't love her. We courted for around a year and a half and everyone thought I would marry her. Her family wanted me to, she wanted me to- but I knew it wouldn't work out."

His voice cracked slightly at the end of his sentence and he swallowed firmly, glancing at Kel to gauge her reaction. "I stayed with her because it seemed easier than breaking up. It was wrong of me, and I regret it, but that's the story. That's all it was."

Kel looked at him. Simply looked. He tried to convey in his eyes the truth of his words while wishing that he could just blurt it out. _I love you_.

"How many others?" she asked softly. Dom frowned, confused, not quite understanding the question. She elaborated. "I mean, how many others have you courted?"

He bent his head downwards guiltily. He didn't really want to tell her- he'd said that he hadn't had a lot of girlfriends and compared to a lot of other men at the courts, he hadn't. But he knew, to Kel, this would seem like a lot. "Five," Dom replied quietly. "Five, counting Alyssa."

"Five," Kel repeated quietly. He could only imagine what she must think of him.

"Not for long periods of time," he said desperately. "Marriage was never in the question for any of them."

She lifted her head up to meet his eyes, her own hazel gaze slightly challenging. "Then what did you court them for, Dom? A little bit of fun? A quick tumble in the hay?"

His eyes widened, his mouth dropped open in sheer horror. "No!" he denied quickly, wildly, a small inkling of anger at the suggestion, at the implication of what she must have been hearing, rising in him. "What do you think I am, Kel?"

Kel looked back down, avoiding looking at him. "I don't know," she muttered. "You must have heard what people say about you."

Dom took a slow, deep breath. "I know what people say about me. But... Kel, please don't tell anyone this."

She glanced up sharply at the new note in his voice, the oddly nervous, tentative tone. "What?"

He avoided her eyes, embarrassed, hot and cold all over. "I've never actually..."

She lifted a doubtful eyebrow.

"I've never... well, you know."

Kel stared at him cluelessly, utterly baffled.

"I've never, um, had..."

She eyed him questioningly.

_Oh, Mithros_, Dom thought desperately.

"I've never slept with anyone!" He burst out suddenly, his voice coming out alarmingly loudly. He glanced furtively at the surrounding scenery and took a breath of relief and the fact that it was empty of human life.

"You haven't?" Kel's voice was disbelieving, he couldn't blame her. The kind of reputation he had, as a ladies' man, a flirt- no one would have ever thought he'd never done it. The shocked tone of her voice only made him flush a deep red; she must think him utterly strange. Of course she and Kennan had been close. Even Kel...

"I know," Dom muttered, even his ears turning tomato. "I'm sure you and Kennan..."

Kel snorted slightly, the sound made him look over at her hopefully. "No."

"Really?" He asked, his heart pounding in his chest. The thought made him want to grin goofily, to kick the grass and scoop Kel up in his arms and whirl her around until they were both dizzy and laughing. She hadn't? She had never been that close with any man before?

"Honestly," Kel toed the grass lightly. "He knew he was going to have to be married to a girl in his home fief. He wouldn't."

Dom's face fell slightly at the revelation that it hadn't really been her choice. "Oh. Right."

She shrugged, adding. "I wasn't sure anyway." The corners of his mouth perked up slightly again.

They began walking again, side by side. Dom itched to take Kel's hand in his, but resisted the urge firmly.

"Sorry," Kel said suddenly. "I shouldn't have suggested that about you."

Dom glanced across; smiled gently. "I can see why you would think that. I just hope that you know it's not true."

She nodded, appeared to hesitate, and then continued. "You didn't have to defend me."

He tilted his head curiously. "What?"

Looking across at him, her face ever so faintly embarrassed, Kel glanced away quickly again. "When Alyssa said all those things about me. They're true, you know. Everyone said them when I was a page. And anyway, I know how you feel about getting married to me, so you don't have to stand up for me when someone says things like that."

Horrified at the thought of letting anyone get away with being rude about Kel, Dom halted, causing Kel to stop also, her eyes confused.

"Don't say that," he said abruptly, almost angrily. "_Never_ say that."

Her eyes surveyed him in bafflement. "Say what?"

"That those things are true," Dom spat the words out in disgust. "They are _not_ true."

"Dom, she said things that I've heard before. Everyone knows it. I'm not a proper lady, I'm not slim and I'm definitely not pretty," Kel stated calmly. "It just doesn't matter."

"_Keladry_," Dom said firmly, her full name flowing out of his lips naturally, the sound soft and determined. "I honestly don't know if anyone has ever told you this, but they really should have. _Have you looked in a damn mirror_? You may not be absolutely tiny like half the court ladies, but you're, well, you've got rather a nice figure. Much better than any of those twigs in court. And your hair, your eyes, your smile- you don't need any of that face paint to look good, no better, than they do! You mightn't be everyone's ideal but I think-"

He cut off suddenly, realising all too late that he had been very, very close to spitting out his feelings about her. And that would not end well, not for anyone. "I think you're quite nice," he finished lamely. "Quite nice indeed."

Kel stared up at him, for once, her mouth actually open with shock. "You really think all that?" she managed, her voice barely audible.

"Yes," Dom admitted, his redness returning a little. "I really think all that."

Her hazel gaze surveyed him for a moment, and then moved away. "Thankyou," she said softly. "It really means a lot."

His lips still formulating a safe, appropriate answer, Dom could only watch as she strode quickly back towards the palace.

* * *

He found himself summoned to his mother's rooms the next morning; a note had arrived while he had been an hour into another gruelling practice routine. Sweat dripping off his forehead liberally, he reached over to take the note from the mouse-like page. "Thanks."

The page nodded and scurried away while Dom opened the note to find his mother's usual neat cursive filling the parchment.

_Domitan- need to see you in my rooms about wedding. Come as soon as you get this._

Glancing down at his sweaty, dirty body, Dom suppressed a sigh and, picking up his discarded sword and waterskin, set off up the hill to the palace at a jog. He returned to his room briefly to splash cold water over his face, run a comb through his rumpled hair and pull a clean shirt on, and then walked swiftly to his mother's rooms, halting outside to knock. At Lady Felicity's assent, he opened the door and headed inside, discovering that Kel herself was there, sitting stiffly in an armchair while his mother sat in another chair nearby. Kel offered him a small smile which he immediately returned, relieved that the events of the previous day didn't seem to have damaged their friendship.

"Hello, mother," he bent to kiss his mother's cheek respectfully. "How are you?"

"I'm quite well, thankyou," Lady Felicity replied, wrinkling her nose at the state of him. "Honestly, Dom, couldn't you find the time to have a bath?"

Dom blinked innocently. "Well really, mother, your note said to come as soon as I got it, so I did just that."

At the corner of his vision, he saw Kel smile wryly at this, and he couldn't repress a mischevious grin of his own. "Sorry that I smell."

Even his mother couldn't help but return his wide smile. "Domitan," she said, mock-severely. "What have I brought you up to be?"

Kel's eyes actually widened at Lady Felicity's near-joke. Dom's mother always seemed so... well, serious. And scheming, for that matter. But now she actually seemed to be relaxing slightly, making jokes! Kel thought resignedly that maybe Lady Felicity wasn't as awful as she'd first thought- maybe she, like everyone else, was merely stressed about the future, desperate for a way to ensure her family's prosperity and happiness.

Dom flung himself into a chair next to Kel, grinning at her teasingly, and she found herself smiling back automatically, feeling oh-so light and happy. "Mother," he answered. "Don't ask questions that you don't really want to know the answer to."

Kel tore her eyes off Dom to gauge Lady Felicity's reaction, only to find that she was staring at the two shrewdly, observing their every move. Kel felt her face flush slightly and hoped sincerely that Dom's mother couldn't read her mind. Because if she could, it was at that current moment full of stupid, rather embarrassing thoughts of Dom.

The problem was, she'd just been getting over her feelings for him- well, not really over, but she'd just about managed to convince herself that having feelings for him would only result in pain and lifelong rejection. Then her mother had said those things, and Neal had told her that, and then Dom himself had given her a rather baffling compliment. Or had it been a compliment? She recalled his words uncertainly. It had _sounded_ like he had been calling her beautiful. It had sounded like he was attracted to her.

She shoved the thought out of her mind firmly. Even though Dom had said that, it had to have just been because he was being nice. Dom was always nice. Well, usually. Except to that Alyssa yesterday... but he'd been defending her. Which was even more confusing. But of course he must have just been defending her because they were friends. Nice, happy little friends. Because if Dom had any sort of those kinds of feelings for her- which he most certainly didn't- then why wouldn't he have just said so when they had found out about their betrothal? And why would he have been talking with Neal about pretending to love her?

Shaking her head mentally at her own wild imagination, Kel returned her attention to the current conversation with some difficulty.

"... two weeks," Lady Felicity was saying. "You have a dress, which is good, Kel, but Dom-" here she frowned sternly at her son. "I don't believe you have anything to wear."

Dom lifted an eyebrow. "Was I supposed to arrange that?"

His mother sighed. "I was hoping that you would."

He mock-saluted her neatly. "I'm on it, captain."

Kel suppressed a giggle at Dom's dramatics and the look on Lady Felicity's face as a result.

"I've told the priest the day and time," Lady Felicity continued. "And the chapel will be empty at that time. Ilane and I-" Kel was startled at this, since when had her mother been involved in wedding preperations? "- have made arrangements for dinner to be held at the town house after. Oh, and Lalasa has promised to come help you get dressed."

"Me?" Dom asked incredulously, his eyes wide. "She's going to help me get dressed?"

His mother rolled her eyes at him. "Really, Dom, you're shocking today."

He grinned faintly, shooting Kel a wink out of the corner of his blue, blue eye. He was then rewarded for this by a firm glance from his mother.

"And we've had lots of people saying that they will attend," Felicity concluded quite cheerfully. "So all in all it should be quite a success!"

Kel felt slightly numb at this brisk planning out of her marriage. Would, she wondered, the planning of her children be carried out so briskly and efficiently? The thought made her squirm inside.

It was then that the conversation, although not particularly uplifting in content, began to go steadily downhill.

"I've seen you two in public," Felicity told them with a sigh. "And really, you do look better than you used to together, but you act like a... a..."

Kel and Dom eyed her cluelessly.

"You act like friends now," she finished finally, flatly. "That is good, of course, but most couples take the time to hold hands, or, or something. And..."

Dom avoided Kel's eyes, feeling his face flush at this latest piece of advice. Really? Now that they had just become friends again he was supposed to act like a couple all over again? That didn't hold good memories for either of them.

"You do know, I suppose," Lady Felicity said, her tone changing enough to make Dom glance at her sharply and Kel refocus on her words. "That, well, weddings _do_ end with a kiss."

Both Kel and Dom stared at her for a moment, utterly flabbergasted. A kiss. A simple thing for any normal couple, but for them?

"We know," Dom finally managed, after a long, awkward pause.

Felicity lifted a neat eyebrow at his tone. "Excellent. And please try to make it look natural. I know that, well... but you _are_ going to be married. And really, if you just do it on the day, it might look a tad stiff. But..."

She let the sentence trail off suggestively and both Kel and Dom felt like walking over to the nearest vase and smashing it over their own heads. Was she suggesting that they _practice_?

Dom jumped up hurriedly, looking a little like a scared page. "Well, thankyou for that piece of advice mother, but I really must go have a bath. I suppose I shall see you later. Come on, Kel!"

"Thankyou for the tea," Kel said politely, as she followed Dom out of the room quickly. "It was very nice."

* * *

Once they were clear of Lady Felicity's room, Dom breathed a deep sigh. "Mithros. I'm sorry about that, Kel. We won't actuall-"

"Shhh," Kel hissed quickly, another figure appearing at the end of the corridor. He glanced at her sideways, confused, but then nodded in acknowledgement when he realised that there was another person nearby. The pretence was still on.

The approaching figure was tall but slight, ruffled dark-blonde hair on top of a pale face. "Lady?"

That voice was familiar. Oh so familiar. Kel's face lit up with a smile and she broke into a fast walk, opening her arms to the figure. "Tobe?"

Tobe grinned and, hesitantly, returned Kel's embrace, his own deep-set blue eyes warm.

"I almost didn't recognise you," Kel ruffled his hair affectionately. "You've grown."

Tobe's smile widened. "Six feet two inches," he told her proudly.

"And only fifteen," Kel remarked thoughtfully. "You've got some growing left."

They stepped back from each other and Tobe's eyes fastened on Dom, his gaze somewhat accusing.

"I been hearing you're wanting to marry her," the words were directed at Dom; the tone slightly suspicious. Realising that he sounded perhaps a little disrespectful, Tobe added a soft "sir".

Kel smiled inwardly at Tobe's protectiveness, her heart lighter. She had missed him.

"That's right," Dom admitted to Tobe, nodding. "But I can only promise to _try_ and take care of her. You and I both know what she's like."

The corners of Tobe's mouth lifted slightly in acknowledgement; the smallest sign of approval. "Too right... sergeant."

Dom winced internally at the title; it still hurt faintly, like stabbing an old wound, to be reminded of his old position. "Not anymore. That is, you don't need to call me that. It's just Dom."

Tobe however had picked up on this. "Not anymore, ser-...?"

"You can't be married and be in the Own," Dom said quickly, as an explanation. He didn't look at Kel. Guilt had surfaced, sickening and heavy, at mentioning his beloved career. He couldn't forget what he'd said to her that first night in the garden when they'd had the chance to talk... _"I hate the fact that I am betrothed... It wasn't supposed to happen. All of a sudden, I have to give up my career, my entire life for someone I don't even love..."_

Regret coursed through him; he cursed his own stupidity for saying such a thing. And not only that- all those other things he'd said when they'd first found out. Dammit, maybe if he hadn't said all that, hadn't been so idiotic, they wouldn't be like that now. Maybe if he hadn't, they would be holding hands naturally, smiling, knowing that they loved each other.

"Really?" Tobe's surprised voice brought him back to the present. The boy was staring at him, his grey-blue eyes wide. "You quit the Own for m'lady?"

Dom smiled at him cheerfully, glancing across at Kel to find with some dismay that she had withdrawn, her face expressionless. "She's worth it."

Tobe's smile in response was wide and approving. "I s'pose congratulations is in order then, for your betrothal." He looked from Kel to Dom happily. "When's the wedding?"

Kel managed a grin in response. "Oh, what is it now Dom, two weeks and three days?"

_**A/N: Haha so here's the next chapter. Sorry- I probably won't be able to update for another week or two as I have ten moderately important exams coming up.**_

_**Anyway. So this chapter I'm going to present a question to you: **who do you think would make the perfect Dom in a potention POTS movie?** (send name/picture link in review- if sending link put spaces next to any .s in the link, otherwise it won't show up)**_

_**Well here's mine. So I watch this TV show, it's called Smallville, pretty much it's about the young Superman, growing up, etc. The main guy- Clark Kent- is played by Tom Welling. And in the earlier seasons he's... well... quite decent looking ;) He's got the whole bright blue eyes, tanned skin, dark hair & muscles thing going. So here is my ideal Dom, and here is a picture link [the top one]: (paste into your browser and delete the spaces)**_

_**http :/ / tv . popcrunch . com /a-surprisingly-intense-smallville/ **_


	12. Ch 12: Juice

_Woohoo! Exams over and now freedom to write :D (to anyone else who did those exams... I hope my principal lets Anh Do come to our end-of-year assembly! :P)_

_Cheers for all the reviews :) I swear, reading a nice review makes me grin like a lunatic. Probably makes me look like a massive loser too :) Also sorry that I no longer reply to reviews... I used to but now I seem to have less and less time to spend on FF! _

_Oh yes, and thankyou to OverlordK who pointed out that it's Piers who has the dreamy hazel eyes not Ilane... I must admit, I'm a bit rusty on the actual books! _

_Also shout out to the anonymous reviewer and Refrigerator-Burn who agreed with me over Clark Kent whatever the actor's name is from Smallville being Dom. YESYESYES!_

_And I can't forget, thankyou to that same anonymous person who made me have a good laugh because they said that their friend's boyfriend should be Dom. hahaha! That's a bit awkward :) _

_Also cheers for a cute review that said I ruined someone's studying and almost made them miss the bus. That also made me have a laugh :D_

_Oh and to Emily who reviewed about two chapters ago, sorry I didn't respond... I kind of forgot :) But yes, I think that God and Jesus are amazing and I believe in the Bible so I would say that I am a Christian. If you're looking for a good book to read I would definitely recommend 'He Chose The Nails' by Max Lucado. It is seriously an incredible read! _

_Wow, why didn't I just write a novel for all of that? :) On with the story!_

_Oh but wait. To everyone who is reading this, I recommend that you stop wasting your time (well actually don't since I really like reviews) but get out there and write your own Kel/Doms so I can have something to read! I swear I've pretty much read all the Kel/Dom fanfic there is. Anyway, if you have a story that is Protector of the Small related or any other good book I may have read, feel free to promote it in your lovely reviews :)_

**Chapter 12: Juice**

Kel was oddly cheerful at dinner- too cheerful, Dom thought, as he surveyed her across the table. She was wedged in between Wolset and Lerant, who were both continiously cracking lame jokes that got louder and louder with each mug of ale they consumed. Neal was sitting next to Dom, occasionally neglecting his piece of meat to interject into the conversation, while Fulcher, on Dom's other side, couldn't hold back his snorts of laughter.

"So I been hearing it's only two weeks an' three days until yourses wedding," Wolset suddenly confessed, his eyes fixing on Dom. "That so?"

"Yes," Dom confirmed, feeling somewhat nervous at the glint in Wolset's brown eyes.

"Weeeelll," Lerant drew the word out, stretching it into silence. "It's tradition, as you well know, to hold a party for anyone leaving."

Dom suddenly felt exceptionally nervous. Of course he knew it was tradition, he'd been to Raoul's Own party, and many of the men before. It wasn't the having-the-party bit that was making him worried, however, it was having a party _with_ the Own.

Kel raised a wary eyebrow. "Am I invited to this party or is it just for men?"

"Hmmmm..." the sound was one of consideration, Lerant looked torn. "Well usually it's just for men... but because it's you..."

"Of _course_ you're invited, Protector dear!" Wolset replied, quite enthusiastically. Kel shot him a sideways glare, he knew that she hated that now-famous nickname.

"What about me?" Neal interrupted. "Am I invited?"

The whole table gazed at him dubiously for a moment, then Wolset, who appeared to be the planner of this party, nodded slowly. "Sure, sir Nealan. Why not?"

Neal returned to his steak, apparently satisfied, whilst Dom gazed at Wolset warily. "When is this party?"

Wolset, catching his tone, smiled widely, revealing crooked teeth. "Oh, well, not tomorrow, we'll need time to plan. The next day after that. At the evening bell."

Kel nodded easily while Dom did the same, reluctantly. Neal grinned with enthusiasm and Fulcher chuckled loudly, only succeeding to add to Dom's apprehension.

* * *

"I think they're up to something," Dom confided later to Kel, who shot him an amused look.

"Really, Dom," she smiled with amusement. "When are they _not_ up to something?"

Dom grinned at the truth of this and was reminded once again of the fact that Kel had spent several years with the Own. Whatever Wolset had up his sleeve, she could handle it- which was more than he could say about any other woman.

* * *

Two days later- the morning of Wolset's planned party- Kel was swinging her glaive skillfully in her usual practice dance. The training courts were empty, the sky still light and dew not yet dried on the leaves of nearby trees.

"I suppose you're graceful about _that_," a smooth, light voice came from the sidelines. Kel, recognising it, finished her routine calmly, before stopping to face the honey-haired woman standing by the fence.

"Lady Alyssa, isn't it," Kel grabbed her towel from beside the court, taking her time to wipe the hot, dripping sweat from her face. "Good morning."

Alyssa raised one pale eyebrow. "Well, well. Last time I saw you I don't think you knew of my existence, let alone my name. Keladry, am I right?"

The lack of title, be it lady or knight, was evident, and was clearly meant to lower Kel. Kel chose to ignore it and instead twirled her glaive neatly so that it spun and caught the morning rays of sun.

"Is there anything you would like in particular?" Kel asked eventually, after a long pause. "If not, please excuse me. I would like to get back to training."

"Shouldn't you be getting your nails done or something?" Alyssa demanded disdainfully. "Stopping training so that you lose some of that awful bulk?"

Kel gazed at her levelly, fighting back the anger and hurt at her words and the memory of Dom's conversation of the other day. "If you have absolutely nothing better to do than insult me," she said softly, her tone deadly. "Then please at least do it quietly, so that I can continue with my training."

Alyssa strode to the fence abruptly, her silken dress swishing loudly. "I had his child, you know. It cost me a lot."

Kel had never been one to lose her Mask, and had rarely, if ever, lost her temper at another woman. Perhaps her sisters, when she had been a child, but definitely not for the last decade. Now, however, Kel's Mask slipped slightly and her eyes narrowed ever so faintly.

"_Don't_," Kel practically spat, "lie about that. You and I both know that he never went that far with you. If you want to lie, you could try to make it believable."

The other woman smiled venemously, her vivid, red lips twisting up at the corners. "How would you know? He should be marrying me. I _need_ him to marry me."

"You need him to marry you," Kel stated it flatly. "Well, did it ever occur to you that he might want to marry me instead?" Even as she spoke, the words twisted her heart, making her feel physically ill at the lie in them. Dom didn't want to marry her instead, he'd probably be right there marrying Alyssa if he could be.

For the first time since Kel had met her, Alyssa actually looked less than confident- she looked almost distressed. "You really don't understand. I _need_ Dom to marry me."

Kel felt an odd stab of sympathy at the look in her eyes. "Why?"

Alyssa glanced at her for a moment, looked away, and then returned suddenly wet blue eyes to gaze at Kel. "I really am with child. Not his, of course, but the father won't... do... anything. He's married already. Unless I get married before it begins to show, I'll be the disgrace of my whole fief. I'll be sent away and I'll have no money. I won't have anything." Her clear voice wavered slightly at the end, this time Kel really did feel true sympathy. She would have suspected Alyssa of lying, but for the truth in the woman's tone and face. She could sympathise with a woman with less freedom than herself, and the situation really was a difficult one.

"I'm sorry," Kel managed awkwardly. "I really am. If there was something I could do... but why Dom?" The thought had suddenly occurred to her and the question escaped her mouth without thought, but it was a valid point.

Shrugging, Alyssa ran one pale hand through her curls, tousling them. "Who else would marry me _now_? He was probably the closest I've ever been to a man. We're close in age. I thought that by now he'd be tiring of the Own, getting ready to settle down, and I returned to court without knowing that he was already betrothed. I thought maybe I could still convince him to leave you and marry me."

Kel smiled faintly and chose to let the last, slightly insulting, part of her speech go. "I'm positive that there will be someone else for you."

"You really think so?" Alyssa asked, her tone curious yet oddly vulnerable.

"Definitely," Kel replied firmly.

Blue eyes appraised her for a moment, and then Alyssa turned, picking up her skirts to trek back through the grass to the palace. "I'm sorry I insulted you so much. I was wrong to say those things about you."

Before a stunned Kel could formulate a response, Alyssa was gone, stepping heavily across the fields. Kel watched her go for a moment, and then slowly returned to the complicated pattern of glaive-dancing, feeling oddly light.

* * *

Kel strolled towards a hall of the palace that Wolset had somehow managed to commandeer for his party, Dom by her side. She felt strange, for several reasons- the first was that Dom had her hand clasped gently in his own. Lady Felicity's reprimand had made them both nervous, and it was by mutual, silent agreement that they displayed tiny gestures of affection. Kel's whole hand was warm from Dom's grip and it made her feel tingly and lighter, even as she cursed herself for it. It helped slightly that Dom had confided in her about his previous relationships; but Neal and her mother's opinions about Dom's feelings were weighing her down, making her feel tired and confused.

"I like your dress," Dom said eventually, his tone slightly hesitant. Kel glanced down at it self-consciously. It was a more casual kind of dress, russet-red and simple, and she had chosen it purely because she hadn't felt like wearing breeches to a party. Well, she hadn't wanted to really. Not- she reminded herself firmly- because she wanted to look like a woman for any particular person- but simply because she had wanted to wear a dress.

"Thankyou," she answered, shooting him a small sideways smile, and it was then she decided that she should probably share the earlier conversation. "Dom... I talked to Alyssa today."

Dom stopped mid-stride, his face turning abruptly stricken. "What?"

"Well, she talked to me," Kel corrected herself. "It was fine."

He lifted his eyebrows at her disbelievingly. "_It was fine?"_

Kel tilted her head forwards in confirmation. "She apologised to me in the end, actually."

Dom's mouth almost dropped open. "Are you serious?"

She smiled faintly with amusement. "Yes."

"What did she say?" Dom demanded, both concerned and curious. "What did she _want_?"

Kel considered the question carefully. "Well, really, she wanted you. That is, she wanted me to break off the engagement so that she could marry you."

Dom's expression became exasperated, then puzzled. "You know, I really didn't think she actually liked me _that_ much. That desperately."

"She doesn't," Kel said calmly; Dom snorted softly at the implied insult. "She also said that she had your child."

At this, Dom spluttered in fury. "WHAT?" He stared at Kel's expressionless face with growing alarm and hastened to explain himself. "You know that's not true... don't you? I mean, I never... I told you... I promised you..."

Kel laughed at him openly and freely, her teeth flashing, showing her joke. "Oh Dom. The look on your face." She hadn't meant to be funny in the first place, finding it hard to make jokes about that kind of subject, but in the end his reaction had all been too much.

Dom rolled blue eyes at her, partly in relief and partly in amusement. "You had me worried."

"I know," Kel glanced across at him in amusement. "I must say, I'm relieved."

He grinned at her, savouring the openness and light mood of the moment. "I wouldn't lie to you. I told you that already."

Both of their eyes met for a moment and Kel found herself swallowing heavily and glancing away quickly at the expression in Dom's eyes. It was something she couldn't quite place; couldn't quite fathom, and had never noticed there before, but it made her feel oddly warm and unhidden.

"I feel sorry for her," Kel said suddenly, her voice softer.

Dom stared at her, honestly stunned. "What? Why?"

Kel eyed him for a moment carefully. "She wants to marry you because she's with child. The father's already married and her family doesn't sound like the type to accept her and the baby."

Dom absorbed this information with a creasing of his forehead and a small sigh. "I didn't realise."

"Neither did I," Kel said softly. She had a sudden, irrational fear that Dom would lift up her hand, which he was still holding, yank off her betrothal ring and run down the corridor to offer it to Alyssa. She was disgusted with herself internally- he probably would prefer to.

"There's nothing we can do, though," Dom told her quietly, interrupting her vivid visions. "_I'm_ not going to marry her, but I'm sure she can convince someone else to."

A faint tinge of relief rippled through Kel and she relaxed slightly. It was at that moment that a tall, gangly figure turned the corner of the corridor only to slam straight into Kel, who lost her balance and toppled over. Dom, still in possession of her hand, ended up on the floor as well, kneeling awkwardly over a flattened Kel's legs.

"Hello, you two," Neal said grandly. "I see you're in the process of making yourselves late to your own party."

Dom shot his cousin a dirty glare and got to his feet, brushing off his clothes neatly and offering Kel a hand up. She took it, getting to her feet with just the slightest blush on her cheeks, and Neal began to lead the way towards the party, talking incessantly as he went.

"I must say, I thought you'd be there early. Seeing as it's your own party and all. And really, cousin, I thought that you'd have the decency to ask your favourite cousin to be best man. Honestly, what will you do without me to tidy you up on the day? I quite think that-"

"_Neal_," Kel interrupted knowingly. "What's wrong?"

Neal shot her a furtive look, narrowing his green eyes and pursing his lips. "Why do you think there's something wrong?"

Kel grinned at him teasingly. "Your tunic's on backwards."

He looked down in chagrin only to see that Kel was indeed correct. Cursing, he pulled and twisted the garment so that it was on the right way. "Right."

Dom, smiling wickedly, goaded his cousin. "Well, well. Sir Meathead to the rescue again. What's gone wrong in your pretty little head? Have you had a fight with my favourite female cousin? Yuki?"

At the sound of his wife's name, Neal jumped and paled slightly. "Not exactly..."

Kel halted outside the party room. "Well? Are you going to tell us in there where everyone will hear, or out here?"

Neal appeared to consider this. "I didn't think I was going to tell you at all."

"Oh, but you _were_," Dom said firmly. "Either you'll tell us now or we'll find out later when you've had too much of Wolset's special ale."

"Wolset's _special_ ale?" interjected Kel curiously. "Why is it special?"

Dom winked at her teasingly. "I'm sure you'll find out later. Neal?"

Neal, resigned, bent his head in and beckoned with his hand to indicate that they come closer. "My... That is..."

"Oh, Neal, just tell us," Kel said in exasperation. "Stop stammering!"

"YUKI'S PREGNANT," Neal rushed the words out, and as he did so, his whisper rose in volume, ending in what was practically a yell.

The doors to the room burst open and Wolset stood on the other side grinning widely. "Congratulations is in order! To the father-to-be, sir Nealan!"

An astounded Neal, Kel and Dom took in the scene behind Wolset, Neal looking somewhat horrified, while Kel and Dom bit back laughter. The room was littered with tables of food and drink, men in Own uniforms and many of Kel's old knighthood friends standing in various positions. All were holding glasses full of varying liquids, and at Wolset's words, each lifted their glass, and toasted Neal. Kel saw Merric, Faleron, Owen, Seaver, and several other friends grinning at Neal; Owen let out a loud wolf-whistle. It was with great amusement that Kel noted Lord Wyldon standing in a corner, his smile wry, Raoul several feet away, and as she scanned the crowd and took in another figure, her heart skipped a beat.

Tall, well-built, and as red-headed and freckly as the last time she had seen him, Cleon of Kennan tilted his head back and sipped his glass with the others.

"An' of course!" Wolset continued, both very enthusiastically and very loudly. "A toast to the betrothed couple! Kel an' Dom!"

Kel glanced up at Dom only to see that he was looking faintly stricken. She followed his gaze and realised that he, too, had noticed Cleon, who had similarly raised his glass to Wolset's latest toast, his eyes fixed on the couple. Dom's eyes seemed frozen on Cleon, until they slowly and gradually travelled back down to Kel, his hand tightening on hers.

Kel returned the squeeze as an attempt to reassure him. He seemed worried, maybe that seeing Cleon would bring back the previous attraction for her, maybe that the sight of him would make her unhappy. She could understand that, knowing that she herself had been concerned about the reappearance of Alyssa and Dom's previous romantic attractions. But in her own mind, she knew that Cleon held nothing for her anymore. The attraction that they had once had was gone- vanished or evaporated or faded with time- but now definitely absent and nonexistant.

Realising that the entire crowd was watching them, Kel managed a grin while Dom shot Wolset an embarrassed, exasperated look.

"Don't thank me yet," Wolset accepted the look with glee. "Wait until later!"

And with that, he whisked off into the crowd, who laughed collectively, and scattered chatter began. Kel and Dom walked slowly further into the room together, Kel noticing several other people that she didn't think would have been present: Prince Roald and Buri and Alanna, who apparently didn't count as women either. Buri was clad in a vivid green, longer tunic that appeared almost dress-like, while Alanna had chosen to wear a violet dress that matched her eyes in a startling way.

Dom was drawn off into a group of his Own men, who winked at Kel and congratulated her loudly. She returned their jokes with laughter and twinkling eyes, and couldn't help but giggle as an embarrassed-seeming Dom was handed a large mug of ale and received many firm claps on the back. She floated away to talk to Wolset, Lerant and Fulcher, and later found Buri and Alanna for a discussion on Scanran weapons. Prince Roald, after an hour or two, came up to Kel smiling and apologised to her for having to leave early, as Shinko had said she would wait up for him. Kel laughed and accepted his apologies and congratulations with an easy smile. Lord Wyldon came up to shake Kel's hand firmly, congratulating her in his dry tone and informing her that he fully expected that she would beat him in jousting next year. Kel couldn't contain a smile at the memory of her last competition against him.

Eventually, she found herself in conversation with Lord Raoul, who was cheerful and smiling. "You're looking happier now," he observed later, his tone cautious.

Kel returned his comment with a small smile, grateful for his lack of questions yet appreciative of his concern. "I am, thankyou." In some ways it was true- she and Dom were on friendly terms now- but in some ways she knew that it was a lie. The conversation continued on other subjects, much to Kel's relief.

Later, Raoul was captured into conversation by a few unfamiliar men wearing the badges of the First Company, who still grinned and shook hands with Kel despite this. It was then, when that group had delved into enthusiastic and passionate discussion about the structure of the Own, that a tall figure stepped in front of Kel with an uncomfortable smile.

"Kel," Cleon of Kennan greeted her uncertainly. "How are you?"

Kel smiled at him- the odd thing was, even though she could sense his nervousness easily, being around him apparently no longer had an affect on her. "I'm well, thankyou, Cleon. What about you?"

Cleon shrugged stiffly. "I'm alright, thankyou."

There was a very distinct pause in which Kel began to feel a little awkward. "And your wife? How is she?"

His whole face tightened and his grey eyes darkened. Kel noted with some horror that she had obviously asked the wrong question. "Well, thankyou," with these words his tone was forced, almost choking. "We just had our fourth child, this winter."

Fourth? "Congratulations," she said lightly. "Boy or girl?"

"Boy," Cleon said. He seemed to relax a little, his tone gaining a hint of pride in it. "Our first. His name is Vaughan."

Kel smiled in genuine delight. "That's great."

Cleon nodded, his demanour suddenly unsettled again, his own gaze flicking everywhere but Kel's face. Another silence reigned, until he finally broke it. "Are you happy?"

Kel stared at him in surprise. "Happy?" The question seemed odd. Did he want to know whether she was happy right now, or in general, or with her life, or what?

He shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. "You know... You're betrothed now. Are you happy, with him? Do you _want_ to marry him?" He jerked his curly red head in a direction behind Kel, and Kel found herself twisting automatically to get a glimpse of Dom, his blue eyes alight with laughter, his hands moving expressively as he told a story.

"I'm happy," Kel said firmly, reassuring herself as much as she was reassuring Cleon. "Dom will be good to me." Saying the words out loud were, in a way, a confirmation of what she hoped would be true. Well, she knew that those particular words were true- Dom would be good to her, they were friends- but she wished, hoped, wanted to be happy, even though the knowledge that their marriage would not be weighed her down every day.

Cleon was avoiding her eyes studiously. He hadn't seemed to notice the uncertainty behind her words as he would have several years ago, and for this, Kel was grateful. "On Progress... you were always... that is to say, you and he... did it start then?"

With a faint shock, Kel realised that he was, in effect, attempting to ask her if she had began a romance with Dom whilst also courting Cleon himself. "No!" she denied this firmly. "It wasn't like that, not then. We've only... well, recently. Not then." She wondered what he would do if she said that they still weren't, exactly, a romantic couple.

Cleon's face went slightly crimson through his freckles and he nodded slowly. "Good."

The interruption of their conversation by Merric, Seaver, Owen, Faleron and a very drunk Neal was definitely not unwelcome.

"Ke-el," Owen drawled teasingly. Kel grinned at him, happy to see her old friends once again.

Merric was looking undecided, as he met Kel's eyes he first went to stretch out his hands for a hug, then quickly extended a hand for a handshake instead. Kel laughed at him and stepped forward herself, wrapping her arms around him for a swift embrace. Faleron was next in line, then Seaver, and Kel hugged them both, then ended with Owen. Neal held out wobbly arms for a hug while Cleon looked on silently.

"KEL!" Wolset practically skipped over, holding a large glass of an orangey liquid. "Have a drink!"

Kel, not particularly wanting to accept anything alcoholic, raised a suspicious eyebrow. "What is that?"

"Fruit juice," he told her innocently. "I got it special, knowing you don't like ale an' all."

She accepted it gratefully, her throat and mouth dry from conversation, and thanked Wolset, turning back to her knight friends to talk.

"Soooo, _betrothed_," Owen breathed ecstatically. "When's the wedding? Am I invited?"

Kel took a large draught of her juice, finishing the whole cup in one large gulp, and laughed at the hopeful look on Owen's face. "Of course you're invited. You're all invited. If you want to come, that is."

"When is it?" Merric asked, his pale blue eyes curious. Kel looked at him affectionately, he was still exactly the same as she remembered- pale, freckly, with the straightest red hair that she'd ever seen. Lerant was strolling past with a large pitcher of that tasty juice, and so Kel held out her cup for more. He eyed her somewhat strangely before filling her cup up to the brim. Kel sipped it down neatly.

"Two weeks now, I believe," Kel answered, trying in vain to figure out what day that made her wedding. "That is, the Friday in two weeks?" That was right, she was fairly sure- it was Thursday today and the wedding was in two weeks and one day, exactly. Well, she thought it was.

Merric looked pleased. "I'll be there."

"Me too!" Owen said enthusiastically.

"I might be," Neal slurred, slinging an arm around Cleon, a grin forming on his features. Kel rolled her eyes while Seaver contained a snort of laughter.

"I will be," Seaver assured Kel quickly. "For sure."

Faleron appeared to be thinking carefully, suddenly, his dark, handsome face lit up. "That's before I have to leave for duty. I'll be able to come."

Kel smiled happily, somehow, it seemed easier to smile with her friends around her and her cup of juice in her hand. She took another sip and found that her second cup was empty. "Good," her smile grew.

Seaver poked Owen in the arm. "Owen. Tell us about Margarry."

Owen's face flushed maroon at the mention of Lord Wyldon's daughter. "Erm, well, she's quite jolly..."

The whole group dissolved into sniggers at this description of Owen's young lady. "Charming," commented Faleron, his dark eyes dancing. "And what does being quite jolly involve?"

Owen appeared to be searching hard for the answer, the red of his face spreading to his ears and necks. "Um..."

Kel giggled loudly, her laugh oddly high pitched. Everyone in the group stared at her, while she continued to beam at the rest of them quite cheerfully.

"Um, Kel?" Owen was the first to speak, his voice tentative yet relieved to have the attention taken away from himself. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Never better!" Kel replied enthusiastically, reaching out to thump him on the shoulder. This only succeeded to make Owen more nervous, and Seaver, Faleron, Cleon and Merric all shot each other concerned glances.

"Maybe you should sit down," Merric suggested carefully, grabbing Kel's arm gently to lead her over to a nearby chair. Kel followed him quite happily, and flopped onto the lounge chair with a large smile on her face. She began humming softly, and pulled her legs up, kicking off her shoes, so that she was sitting cross-legged. Her friends watched in astonishment.

"Perhaps we should get Dom?" Faleron asked the rest of the group, his eyes puzzled. "She seems a little..."

Seaver nodded quickly and melted into the crowd, weaving in and out until he saw a black-haired figure standing talking to Alanna and Buri.

"Dom?" Seaver tapped him on the shoulder, faintly worried as he had never spoken to the man in his life.

Dom turned and smiled in a slightly confused manner, observing the black-haired, black-eyed Seaver. "Hello, have we met?"

"No," said Seaver quickly. "I'm Seaver of Tasride. Kel's friend. I was wondering if you could please come and see her for a moment? She's a little..." He trailed off, not exactly knowing how to describe Kel's current state.

He didn't need to. Dom was nodding as soon as Kel's name was mentioned. "Of course." He nodded to Alanna and Buri courteously. "Excuse me."

"Oh, don't worry," Alanna said benevolently. "We'll come too." She winked at a thoroughly amused Buri, who knew Alanna and her intense curiousity all too well.

Dom followed Seaver over to Kel in the arm-chair. As they got closer he squinted in confusion. Kel appeared to have moved, so that she was lying horizontally across the armchair, her legs and head rested on the arms. Her dress's hemline had risen upwards somewhat, so that her legs several inches above the knees were visible.

"Well, you see..." Seaver said awkwardly. "I wouldn't say, exactly, that she's herself at the moment."

Kel spotted Dom and her hazel eyes lit up. He swallowed hard at the sight of her and walked over quickly to kneel down beside the chair. Kel stared at him dreamily and reached forward a hand to pat him gently on the head. Almost instantly, he noticed her empty cup.

"Oh Kel," he said, half amused, half exasperated. "What _have_ you been drinking?"

She widened her eyes innocently and ran her hand through his thick, black hair slowly. "_Nothing_. Well, fruit juice. No harm in that, is there?" Her mouth lowered into a full-blown pout and Dom didn't know whether to laugh or be concerned.

"Who gave you the fruit juice?" He asked her gently, acutely conscious of the fact that her hand was still stroking his head.

Kel thought about it for a moment, then nodded vigorously. "Wolset gave it to me."

Dom rested his head against the chair's arm and sighed softly. He turned to Kel's watching, bemused friends and shrugged wearily. "Wolset's fruit juice isn't exactly fruit juice... She'll be fine. Go on, you should all go enjoy the party."

The male knights all stared at him, stunned, and then realised that Dom's words had been a clear dismissal. They nodded at him as they returned to the crowd.

"Do you think we should have left her with _him_?" Merric asked his friends dubiously.

"Well," said Owen grudgingly. "I suppose if we can't trust _him_ with her when she's drunk, we can hardly trust _him_ with her when they're married."

Neal seemed to find that incredibly funny, and he began to laugh loudly, drawing amused looks from the men around them.

Alanna and Buri were still behind Dom, the knight going crimson from holding back her peals of laughter.

"Well," Buri said cheerfully, tugging a now choking Alanna away from the scene firmly. "At least she's happy!"

Dom turned his head back to look at Kel. Her hand moved down to touch his face, one finger gently tapping his nose. "Like Neal," she murmured cheerily. "Neal's nose!"

He raised his eyebrows at her curiously. "Whatever do you mean?"

She smiled, delighted that he had returned to talking to her. "Nose like Neal."

Dom chuckled softly and her hand moved down to rest on his jaw, the same finger running across his lips lightly. He suddenly found himself very distracted by the sensation, his heart racing, but he firmly lifted up a hand to stop her movement. He knew perfectly well that if she were sober, Kel would never be doing the things she was doing, and he didn't want her to be embarrassed when she returned to her usual self.

"Why did you do that?" Kel was now gazing at him with large, wounded eyes. He had to look away momentarily- her being drunk didn't make her any easier to resist.

"You're a little out of it right now," He told her softly. "You wouldn't be wanting to do that if you were yourself."

Her expression became confused. "But I _would_," she insisted, her brow creasing with puzzlement. She seemed to suddenly notice that Dom was kneeling on the ground next to her, and she frowned. "You should get up. Can't be comfortable. Sit next to me." She pulled her hand free from his, to adjust her position so that she was sitting upright in the chair, squished against one edge to make room for Dom. She patted the seat next to her firmly. "Sit here."

Dom got to his feet slowly and uncertainly. "Sit!" Kel repeated again, sounding more frustrated this time. "Why won't you _sit_?"

He sat quickly, attempting to placate her, and her face relaxed into a large and altogether far too appealing smile. She moved so that she was leaning against him, gazing up into his face, evidently enraptured by whatever she could see.

Dom was by now feeling incredibly uncomfortable at the level of comfort his body _wanted_ to feel at this closeness. He put a tentative hand on her shoulder and she leant her cheek against it, relaxing.

"Kel," his voice was croaky, he cleared his throat nervously. "Maybe you should sit up. We look a little, uh..."

In reality, no one in the surrounding crowd was even looking at them. Well, not as far as Dom could tell. All seemed absorbed in conversation, or drink, or food.

Kel moved slightly to stare at him with confused, hurt eyes. "Why does it matter what we look like? We're betrothed, aren't we?"

"Well, yes," Dom admitted apprehensively. "But we-"

"Then we can do whatever we want," she stated this as though it was fact, her tone conversational. "Your mother wants us to _look_ betrothed." He winced, even in her drunken state, she could remember this.

"So we can do whatever we want," Kel repeated firmly, appearing not to notice his discomfort at her previous comment. "Like this." She moved so that she was sitting in his lap, and picked up one of his hands to rest it on her waist. She bent forwards, forcing him to lean back against the chair, and stared into his blue eyes, her breath hot against his lips.

"_Kel_," he had to force the words out, it took a lot of effort and self-control to turn his face away from her. He wanted to lean forwards and kiss her and tell her that he loved her, but he knew that she wasn't ready, and it definitely wasn't the time, not when she was so drunk. Mithros, what _had_ Wolset put in that damn juice?

"_Dom_," she breathed, and then he felt her lips brush his cheek lightly. One of her hands moved up to rest on his turned away cheek and she pushed gently, forcing him to turn so that he was facing her once again. She slowly leant in to lightly graze her lips against his own; he shut his eyes. She brushed her lips against his again, softly, and Dom found himself stiffening, forcing himself to draw away.

He stood abruptly, picking Kel up to stand on her feet also, both his hands supporting her around the waist.

"Kel," he said sincerely, blue eyes boring into hers. "I'm going to walk you back to your room. You're not yourself."

Kel stared at him uncomprehendingly. "You're coming?" She asked hopefully.

"Yes," agreed Dom wearily. "I'm coming."

She smiled, quite satisfied, and took a step, breaking his hold, only to sway unsteadily. "Oh... Dom, the floor's moving."

He hastened to reassure her. "It's fine. I'll help you." He wrapped a careful arm around her waist and she steadied herself by putting an arm around his shoulders. "I'll just say goodbye to a few people, alright?"

"Okay," Kel said agreeably.

Dom found Wolset by the door and proceeded to glare at him menacingly. Wolset, observing the state that Kel was in, lifted confused brows. "What's _she_ been drinking?"

"Whatever you gave her," Dom informed him through gritted teeth. "_Fruit juice_, Wolset?"

Comprehension dawned on the man's face only to be followed by bafflement. "Look 'ere, I only gave her one cup!"

Dom tilted his head forwards in exasperation. "One cup too many!"

"One cup doesn't do _that_ to you," Wolset said, eyeing Kel guiltily. "One cup should have just been enough to make her a bit smiley!"

Lerant appeared behind Wolset, his eyes slightly downcast. He had clearly overheard the whole conversation. "See, I was walking past with the jug of, erm, _fruit juice_. And she held out her cup. How was I supposed to know it was going to make her go like this?"

"Like what?" Kel interrupted, her voice almost child-like, innocence dripping off every word. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing," Dom told her soothingly. "You're quite alright, really."

Lerant covered his mouth, stifling an amused snort. "Sorry."

"In future," Dom addressed the two men sternly. "Do _not_ offer her anything that isn't juice, milk, or water."

"But what if she wants it?" Wolset insisted, his tone cheeky. "Surely you're not forbidding her the consumption of alcohol. Isn't that a little _controlling_ of you? Taking the husbandly role maybe a little too seriously?"

Dom shot him an icy glare. "Let me make that clearer. I'm telling you not give her drinks when she doesn't know what they are."

Wolset contained a smile whilst Lerant covered his mouth to halt a snort. "Sir yes sir!" Wolset replied, mock-saluting Dom.

Dom rolled his eyes but couldn't hold back a faint grin the two men. "I'm going to take her back to her room."

Kel, leaning against him, nodded sagely.

"Already?" Lerant complained. "It's not even midnight yet!"

"I know," Dom replied, his tone faintly regretful. "I might come back. But thanks for the party, boys."

Wolset grinned in response and slapped him on the back while Lerant rolled his eyes. "You barely even drank anything!"

Dom snorted. "I think Kel made up for it." Kel jerked to attention at the sound of her name, her hazel eyes widening endearingly.

"Night Kel," Wolset patted her on the shoulder, holding back laughter at the sight of her practically slung across Dom's shoulders.

"See you later," Lerant farewelled her.

Dom led her out of the room, pausing occasionally to say goodbye to several other friends.

* * *

They reached her door eventually, Dom by now carrying her horizontally across his arms, due to the fact that she had passed out halfway there. He went to open the door, and then groaned aloud as he realised that he didn't have a key. It was dark, there were no candles around, and he looked around uselessly for someone to assist him. There was no one.

Dom glanced down at the unconscious Kel in his arms, wondering where on earth she would keep a key on her person whilst wearing a dress. Several places occurred to him, none of which he particularly felt comfortable searching.

He started with the least awkward, patting her around the waist uncomfortably in an attempt to discover a pocket. He was lucky, he found a small button that did up a pocket in the waist of her dress, and opened it gently, only to discover the very key that he wanted inside. He sighed in relief and, somehow managing to balance Kel against a wall with one arm, unlocked the door and picked her up again, kicking it shut behind him, to place her gently on the bed. He looked back at the closed door, suddenly realising that it might be considered inappropriate for him to be here with her, in her room, with no one else around.

Carefully, he picked up the folded blanket and draped it over her. It was then that Kel stirred, opening bleary eyes to stare at him.

"Mmm... Dom?" she said sleepily.

"Yes?" he replied, tucking in the blankets around her.

"Don't go," her voice was soft and her hand reached out to capture his. "Don't leave me."

He stood very still, his heart breaking at the vulnerability in her tone. "Alright. If that's what you want." He knew that he shouldn't, that he should wait for her to fall asleep and just leave, but he couldn't bear the thought of lying to her, even in her current state. "I'm here."

Her eyes were fixed on him; slowly she rolled so that she was pressed against the wall on the far side of her bed. "Come here," she indicated the spot next to her.

Dom hesitated. He honestly wouldn't mind getting into bed next to her and falling asleep with her curled up next to him. It was just that they were_ friends_- and if Kel was herself she would certainly not be doing any of these things.

It was her next word, spoken softly and with heartbreaking loneliness, that decided him. "Please?" It wasn't the word itself that made him kick off his shoes and slide under the blanket next to her. It was the miserable look on her face, the question in her eyes, the look of defeat at his pause. He simply couldn't bear it.

Once he was next to her, he pulled the blanket around them both securely, carefully keeping a distinct distance between their bodies. "Are you comfortable?"

She moved closer to him, turning sideways to rest her head against his chest. "Yes..."

There was a small silence before Kel spoke again. "I love you, Dom." Her eyes shut slowly, and within minutes, she was asleep, breathing softly.

Dom found himself frozen next to her, answering words choking, attempting to escape his lips, but ultimately being held back by his own turmoil of thoughts. If he told her now, she would wake and believe it to be a drunken dream, or a lie designed to placate her drunken self. It wasn't the time, he couldn't ruin it all now, not when he had won back her friendship. Not now.


	13. Ch 13: Letters

**A/N: Listen to One Direction everybody. They're adorable ;) Also Playjerise is pretty good as well ["You And Your Eyes" is such a cute song]. Anyway, that's my music recommendations for the week!**

**ALSO: **_Quick note, I got an enquiry this week about whether my story was a 'remake' of another story called 'Arranged Marriage'. Just so everyone knows... it's not. Apart from the fact that this story was published in 2009 while that one was published in 2011, I just don't see the point of copying another story. So yes... :)_

**Chapter 13: Letters**

Her room was light when she awoke, the sun streaming through the window as it only did when it was late mid-morning. Kel stirred, only faintly aware that her head rested on a very solid, very warm object next to her. She groaned softly, stretching a little, and opened her eyes again blearily.

With some confusion, she sat and gazed down at herself, noticing that she was wearing a russet-red dress, casual and light in style. She frowned, puzzled- she knew the dress, of course, Lalasa had made it for her not long ago- but why had she been wearing it to bed? She attempted to think back to the night before, only to halt, registering the odd warmth next to her-

A soft mumble alerted Kel to a presence beside her; she jerked backwards in shock, slamming her back against the wall painfully, and stared in horror at the dark-haired man lying face-down next to her. Mithros, what had she been _doing_ last night?

"Kel?" The voice was familiar, now that he had rolled over, Kel could easily identify the man as Dom himself. She felt her cheeks flush and, in her humiliation, could do nothing to hide her embarrassment with her usual Mask.

Dom sat up slowly, stretching his arms out and stifling a yawn. His black hair was mussed from sleep, tendrils sticking up above his forehead. In another situation Kel would have laughed at his disarray, now, however, she simply sat and stared with a combination of disbelief, humiliation and alarm.

"How do you feel this morning?" Dom was gazing at her with concerned, sympathetic blue eyes that only succeeded to grow her shame. What had been wrong with her last night, why was he here, _what had they done_? It was with a certain feeling of relief that she noted that, as she was still wearing her dress, not much could have, well, _gone on_ last night. Not that it would have, anyway, of course- Dom was just a friend. A friend that she happened to be marrying. Her brow furrowed as she stared back at Dom.

"Do you have a headache?" he prompted gently. "Ale can do that, you know. And Wolset's juice is-"

He continued speaking but the mention of Wolset had sparked a whole train of memories in Kel's mind. She remembered the party, seeing Cleon, talking to Merric, Seaver, Faleron, Owen and Neal and accepting a cup of fruit juice from Wolset-

She could vaguely recall laughing and giggling and drinking more of that damn juice. And then, sitting on a lounge, then on Dom's lap, her arms around him, kissing him softly, not once, but twice... After that she had been back in her room... with Dom... and... she had asked Dom to stay... he'd gotten into bed beside her... she'd leant on him...

Kel's face went ashen at the last memory- _her own lips forming the words as she sleepily buried her face in Dom's muscular chest. "I love you, Dom," she had whispered, and then, complete, utter silence._

In her head, she cursed herself and Wolset's stupid _juice_. Horror and a kind of numb misery was seeping through her at her latest mistake- they'd only recently managed to slightly negotiate being friends whilst also appearing betrothed; what would Dom think of her now? It was sure to ruin their shaky friendship and form a new kind of awkwardness- especially since he knew how strongly she felt about him, and didn't recipricate the feelings- no matter what her mother _or_ Neal thought.

"Kel?" She blinked as she dragged herself out of her thoughts and realised that Dom was leaning closer to her, his expression anxious. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Kel said harshly, turning her back to him to hook her legs over the end of the bed and slide off it to stand on the floor. She raked a hand through her moderately long, messy hair and couldn't bear the thought of turning around to meet Dom's oh-so-sympathetic eyes.

She heard him slide off the bed with a slight thump and approach her hesitantly. Without waiting for him to speak, she jumped in quickly, hoping to halt a comment about her behaviour last night.

"Really, I'm great," she said quickly. "I feel fine. I just have a lot to do today, sorry. So I need to get organised so that I get everything done. Have a good day."

Somehow, in those few sentences, she had managed to herd Dom towards the door, and by the end of her words, had the door open in preparation for him to leave. Dom gazed at her momentarily, his blue eyes both mystified and hurt, and she had to look away so as to hold firm to her dismissal.

After a long pause, Dom nodded slowly and walked out the door, turning back once to lift a hand in farewell. "Bye, Kel," he called back- but she had already shut the door.

* * *

When he didn't see Kel at all for the next few days, Dom began to harbour a growing suspicion that she was, indeed, deliberately avoiding him. He sought her out whenever possible but could never seem to quite connect with her. She wasn't at meals, or out on the practice courts. He'd been to her rooms at various times throughout the day, but when he knocked, there was never any sign of anyone being in there. She could never be found in the stables, or even with Neal, Yuki _or_ Raoul. She wasn't even with her knight friends- Merric, Seaver, Owen and Faleron- and he even checked Lalasa's shop a few times, but she wasn't there either. Dom had been to Lady Ilane's rooms to see if Kel was there, he'd even checked his own mother's rooms to be sure that she wasn't hiding in there. She wasn't. She just didn't seem to be _anywhere_.

After a day of this, he was concerned. After three, he was hurt, baffled and slightly frustrated.

After one week and one day, meaning that it was a single week until the wedding, he was miserable, anxious and furious- not at Kel, but at himself.

He honestly couldn't fathom why she seemed to be so set on avoiding him. Of course, she'd probably found it utterly humiliating to have woken up in his arms and remembered all that she'd done under the influence of Wolset's fruit juice, but surely... It hadn't been _that_ bad. Surely, since they were friends, she would have known that he wouldn't bring it up again, if she wanted, he'd just forget about it altogether.

Admittedly, forgetting was quite difficult. The feel of Kel's head on his chest, her body tucked up next to his, her lips against his softly- it was hard to forget, especially when one really had no desire to do so. He hated himself more and more as the days went by, sure that he must have done something more than that one night to warrant Kel's avoidance. Or perhaps she'd felt that he'd taken advantage of her that night, maybe seeing Cleon had brought back old feelings, maybe...

There was one other reason that had occurred to Dom, but it wasn't one that he could bear to imagine for long.

Maybe she was avoiding him because she was humiliated that she had told him that she loved him. Maybe it had all been part of her drunkenness, maybe it wasn't true, perhaps she was now horrified that she had told him such a lie and was avoiding talking to him in case he brought it up. Maybe she'd noticed the look in his eyes when he was around her and had realised how he felt about her, and couldn't bear to be around him when she didn't actually feel the same way. _Maybe she just didn't want to see him anymore._

It was one week until the wedding when Dom finally decided that he simply had to see Kel. If not to talk, then he just needed to know that she was alright. The problem was, he honestly had no idea how to find her- he'd already tried everything that he could think of. He'd even, the previous day, resorted to asking all of Kel's friends where she was, and when that failed, had even asked various residents of the palace if they'd seen her. No luck, and he couldn't think of where else to try.

* * *

Kel slammed her glaive into the straw-and-wood practice dummy, then leapt backwards, taking the weapon with her, and twirled it skillfully, stepping and bending so that the glaive then stabbed through the rib area of the dummy. She smiled grimly with faint satisfaction, until she noticed, with a pang of regret, that the practice dummy was not looking particularly healthy anymore. In fact, the entire straw content of its body was now on the wet ground, and the dummy itself was leaning sideways, dragging in the mud, with her glaive sticking out one side.

She grabbed her glaive and stuck it in the soft, moist dirt beside where she was standing so that it stood vertically without any support. She then proceeded to wipe the river of sweat that had formed over the last hour and a half from her brow, using the sleeve of her shirt to absorb the moisture. She grimaced when her shirt came away brown- she was almost completely covered in mud.

_I need a bath_, Kel thought in disgust, and with that goal in mind, she turned towards the Mindelan town house and began trekking resolutely across the muddy field out the back of the house. The Mindelan town residence was not like many other fiefs' crowded, inner-Corus town houses- it was instead located on the very outskirts of Corus with neighbours about three stone throws' away, and it was smaller, much smaller, than many of the other nobles' houses. Kel had never spent much time here, but for the last week and day she had stayed in the house, training furiously.

It was not, she told herself firmly, because she was avoiding Dom after that awful, drunken night- especially that utterly humiliating and devestating moment when she had told him that she loved him, and there had been no reply. If there had ever been a clear indication of Dom's feelings towards her, that had to be it, she thought bitterly. He definitely had no more-than-brotherly feelings towards her. No. Anyway, the last week had simply been so that she could re-focus herself and get away from all the wedding preparations for a short time. Admittedly, she hadn't told anyone but her own mother where she was going, and had also asked her mother not to tell anyone else where she was.

Well, it didn't really matter anymore, because she was going back to the palace today, like it or not. Lalasa wanted to do a final fitting of her wedding dress, while Ilane had sent word that Lady Felicity wished to see Kel about the wedding ceremony or something.

Kel sunk up to her ears in the bathtub, as though the water could block out all the stresses and worries that she had. For a moment, she was able to relax, shutting her eyes and relishing the warmth of the water, before she remembered that a carriage was coming to collect her at the midday bell. Which didn't exactly leave much time for soaking in the bath. She dragged herself out and began towelling herself dry vigorously, pulling on a deep green day dress and boots.

* * *

She thanked the driver as they pulled up to the palace, tipping him with a silver coin when she got out. He nodded his gratitude and pulled away, leaving Kel gazing at the doors like a forlorn puppy. Sighing, she walked into the palace and towards her rooms, wondering when she was going to see Dom and what she should say when she did.

_Hi Dom. How are you? Yes, sorry I haven't seen you for the last week or so, I've been... busy. And about that night, I was just drunk. Really really drunk. Sorry..._

_Dom! It's nice to see you. Oh, sorry, I have to go to a dress fitting, I suppose I'll see you later..._

_Oh, hello, Dom. No I just went on a short holiday, I hope that you don't mind. Well I'm back now, anyway. I have to go see your mother for a while though, sorry, maybe I'll see you at dinner or something._

It was, Kel reflected glumly, unfortunate that she found Dom himself waiting outside her room, one hand raised to knock- and she still hadn't decided what exactly to say to him.

She stopped dead in the hallway when she saw him, fighting the warmth in her cheeks and forcing it back so that her face was utterly impassive. Dom had half-turned, hearing footsteps, and had opened his mouth to say something, anything, but shock had frozen his lips. He hadn't actually expected to find Kel- Mithros, he'd been looking for her for the last week and day with absolutely no success. So it was definitely a surprise to see her standing there, in the flesh, wearing a green dress with her hair tied back loosely in a kind of knot.

"Kel," he managed finally; even to his own ears his voice sounded slightly strangled. "_There_ you are."

"Hello," Kel replied, slightly stiffly, having regained a tight hold of her composure. There was a distinct pause and she went on swiftly. "Sorry that I haven't been around for a while. I was just at Mindelan sorting out some of father's affairs." She didn't mention which Mindelan precisely she had been at, but Dom, not having realised that the Mindelans possessed a town house, nodded in response.

"That's fine," he said quickly. "I mean- that's good. I hope everything is well now?" He didn't say that he had asked Kel's mother where she was and had received no direct answer, he didn't tell her that he had spent the last week looking for her everywhere he could think of.

Kel nodded her head. "Fine, thankyou."

"Right," Dom replied. "I mean, good. Great. That's good." He could feel his face beginning to flush with humiliation- why when he made a fool out of himself, did it have to be in front of _Kel, _of all people?

Kel stepped forward to unlock her door, Dom backed up quickly to give her space, neither of them could find anything to say.

"I should-"

"Umm, so-"

Both broke off at the realisation that the other was talking.

"You go," Dom said immediately. He hadn't even known what he had been going to say.

"Oh," Kel fumbled for words. "I was just going to say, I should really go see your mother. She sent me a note. And I have to go to Lalasa for a dress fitting later on, at her shop in Corus." Inwardly, she blushed- her words seemed as though she was listing excuses not to see Dom that day.

He nodded, blue eyes seemingly fixated on the door behind her. "Well I might come with you to my mother. Will you be going soon?"

Kel finally managed to turn the key in the lock and shove open her stubborn door. "Yes. I just need to feed the sparrows."

She walked into her room, noting with a kind of guilty appreciation that the fire in the grate was stoked and her floor was neatly swept. She usually did that kind of thing herself, choosing to let the palace maids spend their time elsewhere. But it seemed that they had done her room while she was away.

Dom followed her uncertainly, not wishing to wait awkwardly in the corridor but unsure that she actually wanted him in her room. He fiddled with several items on the mantelpiece, searching his mind for a topic of conversation, as Kel opened her window and sprinkled seed out for the sparrows. He was so immersed in some Yamani lucky cats, poking them so that their arms waved, that Kel was forced to clear her throat to get his attention.

He turned inquiringly only to notice that the window was shut, the sparrows were gone, and Kel herself was standing at the door, one eyebrow raised in query. "Are you coming?"

Feeling his face heat up, he nodded and left the room as fast as he could. Kel re-locked the door and Dom then led the way towards Lady Felicity's rooms.

The door was open when the two arrived, Dom knocked tentatively on the door-frame before shrugging at Kel and entering. Kel followed him nervously.

Lady Felicity was standing facing a slim, willowy black haired figure, obviously deep in conversation, but when she saw Kel and Dom she smiled brightly.

"Domitan! Keladry! Excellent, I was just going to send a note to you two."

The girl who had been talking to Felicity turned enquiringly, and Kel winced mentally at the sight of her.

Loose, wavy black hair that scraped her hips, creamy, smooth skin, a pointed chin, a long nose, wide at the tip, and vivid sapphire eyes framed by long lashes and outlined lightly in kohl, the girl had an odd combination of features but was somehow beautiful. It was the eyes and nose that Kel focused on, the indication that the girl must be somehow of the Masbolle family, and this fact alone made her jealousy abate slightly. _Not_ that she was jealous because Dom might think the girl was beautiful of course.

Next to her, Dom seemed to have frozen and was gazing at the girl as if Mithros himself had just appeared in the room. "Vera?"

The girl smiled gently at Dom and stepped forward, opening her arms to him. "Dom?"

Dom moved slowly forward and Kel watched this hesitation with some puzzlement. He wrapped his arms around the girl and she returned his embrace tightly, her smile over his shoulder wide.

When they broke away Dom returned to Kel's side swiftly. "Kel, this is my younger sister, Vera of Masbolle. Vera, this is my betrothed, Keladry of Mindelan."

Vera curtseyed neatly to Kel, who was then left with the question of what to do in return. She went to bow, then realised that she was wearing a dress, and so ended up giving Dom's sister a kind of stiff bend of the knees. Vera watched this with apparent interest.

"Is that a kind of Yamani bow?" she asked Kel cheerily when Kel straightened. "It _is_ quite interesting."

Kel held back a flush and shook her head. "No, sorry. That was just my attempt at a curtsey."

Dom stifled a laugh, Lady Felicity pursed her lips but looked like she was suppressing a faint smile, Vera let a peal of laughter escape. "Oh my. It's lovely to finally meet you. My brother has been talking about you in his letters for _years_."

Kel watched in confusion as Dom shot his sister a horrified glare. Years? But surely-... Dom didn't even love her back. Why would he be discussing her in letters with his sister before they were even betrothed?

"I may have mentioned you when you became Lord Raoul's squire," Dom explained quickly. "And about how you went to Scanra."

"Oh," Kel managed, wishing with all her heart that she could see _what_ exactly these letters said. How had he described her? What kind of things had he said?

"It's alright," Vera reassured her. "It was all singing your praises, of course. For _pages _and_ pages_, might I add."

Dom went red while his sister's eyes danced. Vera watched this reaction with some interest and Kel with some confusion.

"Do you study at the convent?" she asked, more to distract Vera than out of actual curiousity.

"Yes," Lady Felicity interjected before her daughter could reply. "Well, not anymore, Vera is turning sixteen in a couple of weeks- her studies are over."

Vera continued her mother's explanation with a sweet smile that seemed to contain an undercurrent of Kel didn't know what. "Yes. And now I'm here to be introduced to court in the summer."

Kel nodded in understanding. "That must be exciting for you."

Dom's sister opened her mouth to say something, but was again spoken for by Felicity. "Very," Felicity said firmly.

Dom himself spoke and the subject was switched abruptly to the upcoming wedding. "What time are we to meet at the chapel?" he asked. Kel made herself listen; she herself had absolutely no idea.

"At the midday bell," Felicity instructed them both. "I would advise you to eat Midmeal first as we won't be having a meal until the dinner at your new manor."

_Their new manor._ Kel realised that this must be referring to the Masbolle town house. Dom, as youngest son, must be entitled to it. The term seemed to make everything so much more real- Felicity was so casually speaking of what would happen after she and Dom were married.

"Excellent," Dom's tone was light. "Is there anything else I should know before the day?"

"There's still a whole week," Vera pointed out, impatiently. "It's hardly time for worrying yet."

Dom shot his younger sister an amused look. "Maybe not for _you_."

Felicity's expression was half tolerant and half annoyed. "Anyway, Dom, I'm going to ask you to leave now. I have some things I would like to discuss with Keladry."

Kel hid her apprehension as Dom nodded slowly. "Of course. I'll see you all later." He hugged his mother and Vera and placed a hand on Kel's neck to kiss her gently on the cheek. Kel hid a blush, the kiss bringing back all sorts of terrible memories of her own lips, the taste of fruit juice upon them, brushing his softly. As he left, Kel focused on Dom's mother, her expression enquiring.

"I have something to give you," Felicity spoke briskly, more so than her usual manner, and handed Kel a small, blue box sitting on the table behind her. "For the first few years." Puzzled by this last comment, Kel opened the box and, surprised, had to work harder than usual to conceal a flush.

It was a twisted, ornate abstract silver and gold shape that Kel recognised clearly as an anti-pregnancy charm. It was all she could do not to give it back. Really, what did Felicity think of her? That she wouldn't have one already? Well, possibly that would be the case for noble women. But really. Did Felicity actually... did she honestly think... that she and Dom would be even doing that kind of thing when he didn't love her?

"Thankyou," Kel managed, shutting the box almost immediately and clutching it firmly in her fist in an attempt to hide it. "If you'll excuse me, I really should be going into Corus for my final dress fitting."

Vera perked up at this. "Really? Your wedding dress? May I come?"

"Vera-" Felicity began in a warning tone.

"If you like," Kel said calmly. "You're welcome to." Partly, this was because she felt that she might genuinely like Dom's younger sister, and partly, it was because she wanted desperately to find out what he had written about her in his letters. Either way, she wasn't going to learn anything about Dom or Vera if she didn't spend some time with her.

* * *

Minutes later, Kel and Vera were sitting across from each other in a carriage, rattling down the cobblestones to Corus. Kel had wanted to ride Hoshi into the city, but hadn't been sure of Dom's little sister's riding ability, and so had elected for carriage travel.

"You're a knight, aren't you?" Vera asked suddenly. Flushing slightly as Kel met her curious gaze, the girl looked out of the window instead.

"A lady knight, actually," responded Kel, smiling.

Vera chewed her lip for a moment before speaking again. "Was it hard, getting your shield?"

Considering, Kel chose her words carefully. "It was a lot of work, of course. And some folks weren't exactly accepting of me being the first female page- well, known female at least."

There was silence for a moment.

"I wanted to be a knight, you know," Vera blurted out.

Kel gazed across at her with new, avid interest. "Really?"

Vera nodded emphatically. "Father was going to let me. He taught me to ride and to shoot when I was younger, he even started teaching me how to use a wooden sword. But then..." She trailed off awkwardly.

Kel was lost for words. She knew that Dom's father had passed away years ago. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "It must have been hard for you."

The girl shrugged, avoiding Kel's eyes again. "I was nine when it happened. Mother wouldn't let me go to the palace to train to be a knight, so I told her I wanted to join the Own, just like Dom," her jaw tightened. "She said I had to marry into a rich fief for the good of our family."

Kel paused, hesitating, and then said it despite her reservations. "I could teach you some fighting, if you like. Self defence, and the like."

"What's the point now?" Vera said flatly. "It's a bit late."

"You know," Kel told her gently. "My mother isn't a knight, or even a fully trained warrior, but she still saved the Yamani imperial jewels."

Vera's big blue eyes, so like Dom's, stared at Kel with a kind of pleading hope. "Really?"

* * *

"So," Kel began, as Lalasa made tiny adjustments to the dress, poking and prodding pins carefully into place. She had recited this sentence in her head all the way down to Corus and the whole time while waiting for Lalasa. It was an attempt to turn the conversation towards the subject of Dom and find out more about firstly, what he had written in his letters, and secondly, more about his family life. "How many brothers and sisters do you actually have? I've met you, and your brother Vince, I think..."

Vera, leaning on a nearby stool, was eyeing Kel's dress with some admiration. "That's right. Me, Vince, then there's Simon and Desmond. Oh! And Dom of course."

"I don't think I've met Simon or Desmond," Kel said thoughtfully. "Are they older than Dom?"

The girl nodded. "Dom and I are the youngest."

To her surprise, Kel found herself wearing a small smile. "He would be a good brother."

And she meant it. She honestly meant it. A brother, maybe that's what Dom had thought of himself as to her all those years in the Own and on Progress and writing letters about her to his little sister. But it hurt to try and think of him that way. The feelings she had harboured for Dom ever since meeting him were definitely more than sisterly. It was a shame that he clearly didn't have any similar sort of thoughts about her.

"He is," Vera agreed, jerking Kel out of her thoughts. "When we were both at home he would take me riding and walking and to the town. When he joined the Own he wrote me letters."

Kel tried not to look too interested in the opening she had been waiting for, hoping that Vera's naturally teasing nature would cause her to expand on the topic of the letters. "I never even noticed him writing letters when I travelled with the Own."

Vera's blue eyes sparkled slightly. "Oh, he wrote them, alright. I got quite sick of hearing about this 'Keladry of Mindelan'."

Kel feigned horror. "Oh no, what did he write about me?"

Luckily, Vera seemed all to eager to discuss this. "Oh, lots of things. I think the first time he mentioned you was when he said he won a meal from betting that you'd stay on your horse or something. Then he wrote about how he'd finally met the girl cousin Neal had been writing about in _his_ letters for years. I'm fairly sure he mentioned being embarrassed or something because he felt like he knew you because he'd heard so much about you, and you just looked at him like he was insane or something. I don't blame you!"

Kel herself could remember meeting Dom quite vividly, and held back a blush at the knowledge that he thought she'd looked at him strangely. It had probably, she thought guiltily, been because his easy grin had been enough to make her feel breathless and tingly.

"He gave me a turnover and my horse tried to bite him," she told Vera with wry amusement. Dom's sister grinned, and seemed to take this as an indication to launch into more explanations of Dom's letters.

"Then I remember he wrote all about how you were doing so well even though other men had been treating you unfairly, and then how you got injured fighting a centaur and you got a baby griffin and how you were hopeless at using a hammer and how you stood up for your maid in court-" At this, Lalasa, pinning the hem, smiled up at Kel. "Oh, and then how you figured out that griffin feathers could break down magical illusions-"

"That wasn't actually me," Kel protested. "That was Dom's idea. I just did it."

Vera shrugged philosophically and, rolling her eyes, poked her chest in the general location of her heart. "Then he wrote that he got shot so you took command of his squad and killed a metal Scanran beast. _Then_ how you passed your Ordeal and got your shield and commanded a fort _and_ ran off to Scanra to rescue your refugees without a single thought for your own hide, _and_ killed a powerful mage, _and_ how he followed you at Lord Raoul's orders _and_..."

Kel, despite her curiousity about Dom's letters, couldn't bear to hear another word. "Stop," she practically begged. "It sounds like he was writing an awful lot of rubbish!"

She couldn't help but feel a small flame of warmth beginning inside herself though- Dom seemed to think _something_ of her, from his letters' contents. Vera hadn't mentioned him writing about her many stumblings and difficulties- although perhaps more for his sister's sake rather than for Kel herself.

"He also mentioned-" Vera started to speak, only to stop suddenly.

"He also mentioned...?" Kel prompted, suddenly curious afresh at the closed look on the other girl's face.

"Never mind," said Vera hastily. Kel raised both of her eyebrows while Vera squirmed. "I shouldn't have said anything. It's probably not polite."

Now burning with interest, Kel narrowed her eyes a little. "What? Just tell me."

Vera glanced away. "He also mentioned that you seemed to be seeing an awful lot of another knight, a red-head, Kennan I think his name was? He didn't seem very happy about that."

"Who didn't seem very happy?" Kel asked with some puzzlement. "Cleon, or Dom?"

"Dom, of course," Vera snorted. "Who else?"


	14. Ch 14: Breeches

**AN: cheers for the reviews :)**

**In case I don't have another chapter up before Christmas, I wish all of you the best. Merry Christmas, and I pray that you will think about what Christmas really means for you. **

**James 1:17-18:** _"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created." _

**Chapter 14: Breeches**

The next morning, Kel headed towards Dom's new rooms in the palace, which she thought were perhaps in the west wing. Well, she was fairly sure that they were in the west wing. She hadn't actually ever been to visit, which she admitted to herself was probably slightly remiss.

But anyway, it wasn't a pleasant social visit she was making, if she had another option she wouldn't, in fact, even be going. It was hard to look at Dom without having her face heat up in an all too awful sort of humiliation. So really, if she hadn't wanted something from him, she wouldn't have purposely been going anywhere near him.

She planned to make good on her promise to teach Vera some fighting that afternoon, but she couldn't really visualise the girl being able to do anything in those heavy skirts and corsets. It was a shame she hadn't simply thought of it yesterday and gotten Vera some breeches and a shirt from Lalasa, but now she had to make do with whatever she could find.

Her own breeches, Kel reflected with a small pang, would almost certainly be too wide at the hips for Vera. One of her own shirts could certainly be tucked in or something, but the breeches simply would not do. Dom's however... she thought that maybe Dom, being a man, would have slightly narrower hips and would therefore own a pair of more suitable breeches. And of course, Vera was his younger sister anyway, so he should be willing to let her borrow a pair.

She tapped neatly on the door that she thought might perhaps be Dom's, and was rewarded with a familiar, exasperated sounding voice: "Is that you, Wolset? Come in, then!"

Shrugging, Kel decided that she most definitely wasn't Wolset, but that the 'come in' probably applied anyway. She pushed the door open and stepped inside the room, kicking the door shut behind her, only to find a shirtless Dom fumbling to lace his breeches, an expression of horror on his face at the sight of her.

"You're not Wolset!" he said, quite indignantly.

Kel forced herself to drag her eyes upwards to his face, and keep them there. "No, I'm not. Sorry, I thought... well, you said come in."

"Only because I thought you were Wolset," Dom managed to tie his breeches up and proceeded to stand looking at her, still lacking a shirt. Kel wished that he would hurry up and put one on. "_Someone_ decided to dye all my shirts and socks a rather rosy shade of pink while I was asleep."

Kel held back a laugh with some difficulty. "Someone being Wolset?"

"Who else?" Dom sighed, folding his arms and placing a martyred look on his face. "Wolset, Lerant or Fulcher, I'd bet on any of them. Or all three together. I thought you were Wolset come to gloat."

"Right," Kel said, avoiding looking at Dom's shirtless state with all her strength. "May I please borrow a pair of breeches?"

Dom stared at her momentarily and she found her face flushing slightly not only with his gaze, but at the oddity of the question.

"What's wrong with the ones you're wearing?" he demanded, and she was relieved to find that he now wore a rather amused, teasing grin. "Won't mine be a little long for you, anyway?"

"Not for _me_," Kel told him, unable to resist returning his smile. "Yours wouldn't fit _me, _they'd be too small."

"What, so now your friends want to borrow my breeches?" asked Dom with some puzzlement. "And what do you mean, my breeches would be too small for you?"

Kel gazed back at him. It was funny how even the trepidation and anxiety she had felt walking over to see him had disappeared, and the usual banter between them had managed to banish her embarrassment. "My erm, waist, would be wider than yours, easily."

"No it wouldn't," Dom insisted. Kel couldn't fathom why exactly he seemed to be so set on arguing the point. "It would be the same, if not slimmer."

She sighed inwardly, feeling a heavy weight set itself on her shoulders. He obviously wasn't used to having a woman without the slim, petite waist of a court lady. "Dom, I'm not exactly skinny, in case you haven't noticed. I have the waist of a cow."

His vivid blue eyes flashed with some emotion and she was reminded of the walk after first time she had seen him with Alyssa, and how he'd been furious that she had merely accepted the things Alyssa had said about her.

"You do _not_," Dom said, strangely quiet. "Have the waist of a cow."

Kel shrugged and couldn't bring herself to reply. It had hurt, hearing those kinds of insults come out of people's mouths all the years she had worked for her shield, and she hated being reminded of them, even if she had brought it up herself. It still pained her to hear the old insults, perhaps even more so now that she was betrothed to _Dom_.

"Here," Dom had crossed the room without her noticing and had shoved open a drawer, digging through the contents. He tossed a garment at her and she caught it automatically. "I bet you a gold noble that my breeches will fit you."

She stared at him in shock. "Dom-"

"And if they do," he continued as though she hadn't spoken. "You have to promise never to say things like that about yourself, ever again. Don't even _think_ them."

He turned around, not bothering to wait for a reply, and leaned his head against the wall.

"You want me to try on your breeches?" Kel asked him, her voice rising slightly in pitch at the end of her question. She felt odd, confused, baffled, nervous... why was he doing this? Why did it matter so much to him?

"Yes," Dom replied calmly. "I won't turn around, I promise."

_Of course you won't_, Kel couldn't hold back the thought. _You're not interested in me._

But with that, he shut his eyes, leaving Kel stunned, standing behind him, clutching a pair of fawn coloured breeches.

It had to be, she thought resignedly, untying her own breeches and sliding them off, one of the oddest situations she'd ever been in. As much as she really did not want to try on Dom's breeches and find herself thoroughly humiliated by the fact that they _were_ too small, she just couldn't find it in herself to argue with what seemed like a very set and adamant Dom. He really was odd about these kinds of things, and so damn _stubborn_ when he got going.

She hated to admit it to herself, but Dom probably was one of the only people who she would do almost anything for. He _was_ hard to resist, even knowing that he obviously didn't feel the same way about her as she did about him. Even after kissing him in her drunken state. Even after saying "I love you" and getting a very clear silence. Even though she was being forced to marry him.

Kel pulled on her- no _his-_ breeches and yanked them up. They were surprisingly comfortable and to her combined shock, horror and relief, they _did_ lace up, even though they were snug over the hips and backside. She glanced over at Dom's bare back, his head still against the wall, and sighed. Why did he always seem to be right?

But really, she pointed out to herself, pulling her shirt back down, this was not a good thing. Because if Dom's breeches fitted her, whose was she going to get for Vera?

"Are you done yet?" Dom complained, his voice muffled against the wall. "I want to know whether I'm right! Which of course, I already know that I am, but I'd like to see the proof for myself."

"I'm decent," Kel told him, slightly grudgingly. "But really, you're wrong. Because they don't fit very well."

Dom turned, raising dark eyebrows, and tilted his head, gazing at her legs. "As far as I can see, I am perfectly right. What's wrong with them?"

"They're a little tight," she pointed out, feeling distinctly uncomfortable with his eyes surveying her form.

To her further discomfort, Dom came to stand next to her, eyeing the breeches more closely. "No, they're not. Maybe tighter than what you usually wear, but that's not saying much."

She found herself questioning his every word, looking for a meaning that she firmly told herself _wasn't there_. Was he saying she should wear more form-fitting clothes? Really, her mother, Neal and Vera shouldn't keep mentioning things that made her think that Dom might care for her more deeply than a friend. It was stupid to get her hopes up.

"I'd probably split them if I tried to fight in them," Kel told Dom, more to distract herself than anything else. "They're already going to split around the hips and at the back."

Dom, seeming to have absolutely no care for decency or propriety, grabbed the edges of her long shirt with his tanned fingers and lifted it up to see the waistline of the breeches. "They are not. There, I win."

She couldn't stop the rush of heat from reaching her face and she knew that he had spotted it when he lifted his eyes up to rest on her face. "Don't worry, Lady Knight," he whispered confidentially. "I won't claim a gold noble from you. All I ask is that you never think such things of yourself again."

Kel was all too aware that his fingers still lifted the hem of her shirt and that his face was mere inches from hers. He was leaning closer, his blue eyes serious, and now his forehead touched hers. "Kel, I need to tell y-"

The door burst open with a loud crash, and Kel and Dom sprang apart as Wolset launched himself into the room.

"DOM did-" he broke off abruptly as he registered their previously close position and the corporal turned a vivid bright red. "Oh, erm, I'll just..." He tiptoed out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind himself.

Kel couldn't meet Dom's eyes. She had pulled her shirt back down firmly and was now studiously studying every feature of the room except Dom. She could only imagine what Wolset must have thought he had walked in on. Dom, shirtless, standing lifting up the hem of her shirt, about to ki-

She broke that thought off. Kiss her? He hadn't been about to kiss her. Dom wouldn't do that, he considered himself her brother. Whatever he had been about to tell her, whatever he had been about to do, it was nothing. _Nothing_. And she couldn't allow herself to hope for anything more.

Dom, his heart heavy, couldn't fail to notice that Kel wouldn't look at him. Mithros, _he_ could barely bear to look at himself after what he'd nearly done. She must hate him, he had been right about why she was avoiding him- she didn't care that deeply for him, perhaps her previous crush on him had even been smashed by his behaviour. She probably felt nothing for him now, and here he was, all- Dom made himself stop abruptly.

"Kel, I shouldn't have... I don't know what I was... I'm sorry. Here," he dug again in the drawer and tossed her another, black set of breeches. "Take these for your friend."

Kel caught them. "Thanks," she said quietly. "I'll, I guess I'll see you later."

She walked over to the other side of the room swiftly and opened the door, sliding out with barely a sound.

* * *

It was only back in her own rooms, pressing her face against the cool door to try and ease her humiliation, that Kel realised she was still wearing Dom's breeches, and had left her own lying on his floor. She cursed herself colourfully and threw off her shoes to pull on a fresh set of her own breeches. Comforted somewhat by the loose, familiar feel of the fabric, she sat on her bed and rested her head in her hands.

Not for long. Even as she did so, the midday bell rang loudly, and she made herself get up with some effort. She had promised Vera that they could meet out on the furthest practise court just after the bell, and so she made herself jog her way down, pausing only to snatch up a shirt and that damn pair of breeches on her way out.

* * *

"You're not bad," Kel confessed, watching as Vera held the fighting stance she had previously shown her. "Let's go through the method of making someone let go of you again."

"I feel bad practicing on you," Vera told her with some alarm. Kel couldn't help but grin at this. Dom's younger sister may be tough but Kel was definitely used to pain by now.

"Don't," said Kel. "I'll be fine."

And to her surprise, Vera was one of the first people she had taught that obeyed that order. She could tell that the girl wasn't holding back because it actually did hurt when she dug her nails under Kel's own, and practiced her grips and twists on Kel's arms.

An hour and a half later, Kel stopped the lesson. "Good job."

"We're stopping?" Vera asked with faint disappointment. "When can I come again?"

Kel hesitated. "Where does your mother think you are?"

The girl's blue eyes lit up with faint mischief. "I told her I was going to work on my embroidery with cousin Yukimi."

"Good," Kel couldn't help but feel slightly relieved. It wasn't that she wanted to deceive Dom's mother, it was more that she didn't want to have to have a fight with her now, six days from the wedding. It was really, Kel consoled herself, Vera's choice as to whether she wanted to learn to defend herself or not. The girl was sixteen. Anyway, shouldn't Lady Felicity be somewhat pleased that her daughter could protect herself from unwanted advances?

"We can try to practice every day," decided Kel finally. "I'll speak to your mother about it next time I see her." _I hope that's not for a long while_. "Tomorrow we can do some work with a staff, if you like."

Vera nodded eagerly. "That would be great!"

As the two walked back up towards the palace together, Kel couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, she'd found a friend in what would soon be her family in law.

* * *

Dom prowled the barracks of the Third Company, intent on finding Wolset. No one seemed to have seen him since the previous night, and seeing as Dom had had to force himself to put on a lurid pink, previously white, shirt, that did make sense.

He spotted Lerant, and pounced on him instantly. "Have you seen Wolset?"

Lerant glanced up from his pile of papers and stared in amazement at Dom's shirt. "Erm, no. Say, is that a new fashion down in Corus?"

Dom glared. "_No_." He continued his search.

He didn't only want to find Wolset to curse him for the state of his shirts. He needed to find him to stop his rather large mouth from blurting out to anyone what he had seen in Dom's room that morning. Or rather, what a rather compromising position he'd found Kel and Dom in that morning.

Surely, Dom thought hopefully, Wolset wouldn't be so stupid as to tell anyone about that. Even Wolset...

He sighed even as he thought it. Wolset, despite being a good friend, wouldn't exactly feel any need to keep quiet about the fact that he'd walked in on what looked like Dom and Kel getting a bit too cosy before they were married.

_Well_, Dom's more negative side thought. _It's probably just as well he did walk in_.

And indeed it was. Dom couldn't believe what he had done that morning- really? He'd gotten Kel to try on his breeches? He'd lifted up her shirt? He'd been about to kiss her and tell her that he loved her?

It was just that he couldn't stand how Kel just seemed to accept insults about her appearance with no protests, no denial, no, well, anything. He couldn't believe people said those kinds of things about her, even though he had heard it himself- it was ridiculous. Kel certainly was not unattractive- he of all people knew that.

Really, he thought gloomily, he should probably be giving Wolset a rather large hug for interrupting that. Imagine what would have happened if he had kissed her and told her that he had loved her. She would have been _horrified_.

For Dom was now almost entirely sure that Kel had no shreds of romantic feelings left for him at all. She had seemed so uncomfortable around him and then when Wolset had interrupted them she hadn't even been able to _look_ at him. Whatever Kel had once felt for him was almost certainly gone, he'd ruined it with his previous stupidity. He almost couldn't believe it.

Dom's full attention returned to his quest at hand when he spotted drips of a pink substance on the white pebbles of the path down to the practice courts. Dye? _Wolset!_ He followed the drips at a jog, only to crash into a stocky figure coming up the path the other way.

Dom seized hold of the figure by the shoulders. "WOLSET!"

Wolset himself, coated in pink dye, cringed. "Hallo."

Dom registered the state that the corporal was in with some confusion. "What happened to_ you_?"

Somewhat relieved that Dom seemed to have lost his earlier bellowing fury, Wolset gave a sheepish grin. "Well I had myself a bucket of pink dye and I put it in the stable loft this mornin', and I went back to get it just now and I was goin' down the ladder with this 'ere bucket-" he lifted up a wooden pail in his hand. "-when some idjit walked his 'orse in and knocked me on me ladder flying!"

Dom allowed himself a rather large smirk. "I see."

"'Ow did you find me?" demanded Wolset. It was then that he gazed up the path behind Dom with some consternation. "Me pail must be leaking!"

"There's nothing left for it to leak now," Dom grinned quite cheerfully. "Now, Wolset, about what you saw this morning..."

Wolset widened his brown eyes. "Now whot did I see this mornin'?"

"_Exactly_," said Dom. "You saw nothing."

The corporal furrowed his brow slightly. "No, I think I saw-"

"Don't tell anyone," Dom ordered menacingly. "_No one_, do you hear me?"

Wolset opened his mouth to protest, only to be cut off by Dom. "_Please_."

Surprised by the desperation in his friend's tone, Wolset only nodded. "Sure, mate. If that's what you want."

Dom sighed with some relief. "Thankyou."

* * *

It was on his way to the lower practice courts that Dom came across a very odd sight. It appeared to be two women walking towards him in breeches.

Now this sight, he reflected, would not be quite as odd if it was only _one_ woman in breeches. Either of the lady knights were constantly found to be wearing the garment, but unless it was both of them together- which, squinting his eyes, he was fairly sure it wasn't, as neither of the figures were quite short enough- he had absolutely no idea which other women would be wearing breeches. That is to say, the Yamani women wore some kind of pants while practicing, but they rarely walked around in them and their pants were looser and longer, almost appearing skirt-like. These, or rather what these two women were wearing, were definitely not that kind of apparal but were, in fact, _breeches_.

As he got closer he could easily recognise one of the women. Kel, tall and slightly messy from her practicing. He was sorely tempted to turn around and run in any other direction just to avoid meeting her eyes, so beautiful yet so devoid of any feeling for him. It was painful to care so much about someone yet know that you had let that opportunity fly by.

But who was the second figure? Curiousity, and the fact that he knew the two women had already seen him, kept Dom walking the same way. The second woman was not as tall as Kel, and must know her fairly well as both were talking and laughing. She seemed to have long, black hair tied back from her face in a kind of loose knot and was slim, very slim, almost what Dom considered to be uncomfortably so.

A cold hand gripped his heart as he neared the two woman. Surely not. Not even his sister would be that...

"Hello Dom!" Vera called out cheerfully, lifting one slim, pale hand in a wave. "How are you this fine morning?"

Dom almost groaned aloud in horror. "_Vera_?"

Vera slowed, and stopped, Kel following her lead with some reluctance, Dom noted.

"You're wearing _breeches_," Dom said in alarm.

Vera smiled at him. "Your betrothed wears breeches, Domitan, I really don't think you can make a case for something like that."

Dom winced inwardly as Kel looked away from the two siblings, her hazel eyes distant. "Yes, well, I don't mind if you wear breeches! But what will Mother say? And why are you wearing breeches?" He clutched his head.

"Kel is teaching me how to fight," his sister said calmly. "I asked her to."

Although that was not strictly true, Kel stayed silent, gazing down at her toes and imagining a flat, calm lake.

"To fight?" Dom repeated, now well and truly horrified. "_Vera_!"

Kel couldn't help but feel incredibly insulted at this. "What's wrong with learning how to fight?" she demanded, lifting her face up to look at Dom directly.

"Nothing!" exclaimed Dom in despair. "It's just Mother will... she'll..."

"It was just some self defence," Kel said firmly, seeing Vera's face become slightly despondent. "She needs to learn how to fend off unwanted attentions, Dom, even your mother has to admit that."

"I know," Dom replied, his tone quieter than before. "If I'd had my way I would have taught her years ago."

"If your mother has her way Vera won't ever learn," pointed out Kel. "I'm sorry, but I think it will help her. Besides, she's sixteen, it's her choice what she wants to learn and what she doesn't."

"I know that," Dom said, eyeing his now downcast sister with some sympathy. "You've been teaching her?"

Kel nodded.

Dom resigned himself to a gruesome and bloody fate. "I should probably speak to Mother about it, then, if you're serious about wanting to learn?" He glanced over at his sister.

Before he knew what was happening, Vera had grabbed him in a hug. "I am, I am, will you really talk to Mother?"

"Yes," sighed Dom exaggeratedly. "I suppose I will."

"Thankyou!" Vera let go of her tight hold on brother's neck as Dom made choking sounds. He grinned down at his little sister, warmth filling his chest as her blue eyes danced and her smile spread. The warmth turned icy as he looked over at Kel only to find that her gaze was as distant and far away as light from dark. "Kel was going to but she's more likely to listen to you, I think."

Dom returned his attention to his sister, tweaking her hair teasingly. "Of course she's more likely to listen to her favourite child."

Vera stuck out her tongue in a surprising show of childishness.

"I'll go talk to Mother now," Dom promised. "But take off the breeches before you see her or she might have a heart attack!"

"Kel said we could go to the palace baths together so that Mother wouldn't be angry about the dirt," said Vera chirpily. "You can't come." She seemed to be quite pleased about having Kel to herself.

Dom suppressed a smile. "No, I can't. But I'll see you later after I've tamed Mother, alright?"

Vera nodded and turned to Kel happily. "There, it will be fine. I told you!"

Kel smiled at the girl. "Yes, but you really should have a bath before you see your mother, otherwise I'll be in trouble!"

Dom was unsure of how to farewell Kel. Usually, in public, he would go for a kiss on the cheek or head or at least a touch on the hand. After this morning, he could barely bring himself to touch her.

He managed a light touch on the hand and a grin into her eyes. "I'll see you later this afternoon, alright?" What he had meant to sound light and teasing came out to sound, to his ears, almost like a dooming promise. He turned quickly to walk back to the palace while Vera rubbed at her face with her hands.

"I'm not that dirty, am I?" his little sister demanded of Kel as he walked away. His face hidden, Dom snorted quietly with laughter. He didn't know how exactly Vera had managed to get what looked like a brown moustache on her face, but it was certainly impressive, the way she seemed to attract dirt.

* * *

"It's for the best," Dom told Lady Felicity firmly, for around the seventh time. "She needs to learn how to fend off unwanted attention. You know that, Mother. You wouldn't want to have anything happen to her, would you?"

Lady Felicity sighed heavily. "You know she doesn't want to learn just for that. She wanted to be a knight, now she just wants to learn how to fight. It's not going to be any use for her as a potential wife."

Dom repressed a scowl. "She gave up being a knight quite gracefully, considering as Father was going to let her and then you stopped it. She went to the convent and learnt what you wanted her to, now she's willing to be introduced at court and obey what you say. Why can't you let her just have this for herself?"

"Your mind is made up on this, isn't it?" His mother asked him shrewdly. "It's Keladry. She's made it up for you."

Dom gritted his teeth. He loved his mother, clearly, but it was at moments like these... "Kel has helped me decide that this would be good for Vera. But she's not _why_ I've decided."

Lady Felicity sighed in defeat. "Very well. Vera may learn how to defend herself but it's not to interfere with her court introduction or her socialising. She is to keep clean and neat and to act like a lady."

Dom, mentally visualising his sister's grubby face after only one practice session, suppressed an amused smirk. "Of course."

* * *

Dom, heading down the hallway away from his mother's rooms, spotted Vera, accompanied by Kel, approaching, and swiftly pasted a sombre look on his features.

"What did she say?" Vera asked instantly, running up to Dom. Dom was relieved to see that his little sister seemed completely clean and had returned to her usual state of clothing- a maroon dress. Seeing the look on his face, she stopped suddenly. "Oh no... did she...?"

"She said," Dom began dramatically. "...That you could begin to learn self defence as long as you-"

He was cut off by a loud squeal from his sister, who once again strangle-hugged him around the neck. "Yes yes yes!"

Kel allowed herself a small smile. "I'll see you tomorrow at the midday bell then, shall I?"

Vera nodded eagerly and Dom, seeing Kel turn away, pulled away from her hug gently. "I might walk with Kel for a little while, alright?"

His sister nodded, barely paying any attention, so excited was she to gain her mother's permission for her lessons. She practically skipped back towards Lady Felicity's rooms and Dom could only imagine his mother's reaction to one of Vera's rather tight, exuberant hugs.

He hurried after Kel, not sure why he was doing this to himself, but wanting to clear the air between them. "Thankyou."

Kel glanced sideways at him. "Why are you thanking me?"

"You're the one who started this," he said, attempting a casual grin. "You're the one that's going to teach her."

She shrugged. "Thankyou for getting your mother's approval for it. I wouldn't have been able to."

"Well," Dom said dubiously. "I wouldn't call it _approval_ exactly..."

"Tolerance, then," allowed Kel. Dom nodded in agreement, and both continued to walk in silence.

Dom considered it. All of it- everything. He could choose to avoid Kel to ease his own hurt at not having his feelings returned, he could continue to dwell on what she'd said and done when she had had a little too much fruit juice, he could curse himself time and time again for almost kissing her and blurting out his heart to her that morning. He could lose their friendship and get married in six days with no relationship left.

Or he could forget it all. Forget how he had thought Kel felt about him, forget what he'd done, forget what she'd said, try and forget that he even had feelings for her. He could joke and make her smile and laugh again, and save their friendship. She'd said that she wanted to be friends, hadn't she? Then a friend he would be. He could marry her in six days knowing that they could be a twisted kind of happy; two friends forced into a marriage.

His mind made up, he grinned across at Kel easily. "It was rather tempting to let Vera wear those breeches back to Mother, just to see her face."

He was rewarded as Kel smiled. "That would have been interesting."

"And possibly dangerous for my health," Dom mused. Kel snorted a laugh, and grimly, in his mind, he thought, _we are friends__._


	15. Ch 15: Own

**AN: Hey guys, sorry about the wait- although I think it's only been about a week? Thanks so much for all the amazing reviews :D I've started reading all of the POTS books again and ahh, I love them more than ever! **

**Chapter 15: Own**

**...5 DAYS...**

At around midday the next day, Kel, who had spent the morning practicing her glaive and doing strengthening exercises, was disrupted from this by a soft knock on her door.

"Come in!" she called, expecting Vera, who had been eager to continue their lessons. She turned from straightening her Yamani lucky cats on the mantelpiece, to see her mother, tall and slender with white hair entering the room.

"Mama!" Kel smiled at Ilane, who opened her arms. Kel returned the hug, surprised at how long it had been since she had seen her mother. Usually when Ilane was in the palace they would visit fairly often, but Kel supposed they had both been preoccupied and busy over the last week and a half.

"What are you planning on doing today?" Lady Ilane asked her daughter.

Kel considered the rest of her day, tilting her head ever so slightly. "I promised Vera I'd give her another lesson-"

"Vera?" her mother questioned. "Domitan's younger sister?"

"Yes," Kel smiled faintly.

"That's kind of you," Ilane commented, her voice as musical as ever. "Oh, by the way, I found this outside your door-" She held out a small package. Kel, curious, took it and tore the paper from the outside- it ripped to reveal a pair of fawn coloured breeches along with a small note written in a familiar scrawling hand: "_Kel- sorry, I forgot to return your breeches, you left them in my room. I'll see you later - Dom."_

Kel controlled the automatic heating up of her face with some difficulty. Really, if anyone else read that note they would, of course, come to a completely untrue conclusion as to why Kel had left her breeches in Dom's room. She crumpled the note in her hand, forcing it out of her mind, and tossed the breeches onto her bed, grateful for the fact that her mother didn't seem to be about to ask why someone was giving her daughter breeches.

"I was wondering if you would like to come for a ride with me," Ilane continued gently. "It would be nice to spend some time and have a daughter for a while."

Kel grinned at the old joke. "Of course, Mama. Maybe we could go after midmeal?"

Ilane nodded easily. "Excellent. Shall I meet you at the stables?"

* * *

"Like this?" Vera repositioned her hands on the wooden staff so that they were further apart and Kel used her own significantly more scarred hands to reposition Vera's grip gently.

"Like that," said Kel. Vera shifted the staff's weight slightly so that it was more balanced.

"Did your father teach you any blocks or strikes with a sword?" Kel asked curiously. Vera considered this, and nodded slowly.

"I think so. That is, he started teaching me to block hits above the head, in front of the face, and in front of the body. He said that was what he had done when he was a page, if that's what you mean."

Kel nodded with interest. "Alright. Well we might practice those first then."

After about half an hour of staff practice routines, correcting and praising Vera on her grip and handling of the weapon, Kel had them stop and returned to simple, crude fighting techniques. She went through, much as she had with Lalasa, how to do things such as eye gouges, nose and throat punches, and how to make an attacker let go in a number of rather painful ways.

"How did you learn all that?" Vera demanded, when they had stopped. "Do they teach you that when you become a page?"

Kel couldn't help but laugh at the thought of all the male pages doing such things to each other. "No. Some I learned in the Yamani court, some a Shang warrior taught me one summer. It's useful."

Vera nodded, her eyes thoughtful. "You know what's probably not a good thing? Now I'm wishing I actually had an occasion to use all these things."

Laughing, Kel patted the younger girl on the shoulder. "I wouldn't go wishing for such times, but it could be good that you know how, some day."

* * *

The mess hall was more crowded than ever, Kel discovered, as she walked in by herself. It didn't help that she was slightly late- she'd taken Vera to the women's palace baths before returning her to Lady Felicity's rooms, safely clothed once again in a dress. She lined up for a tray, gazing boredly around the room, only to notice two pairs of rather long arms waving wildly from across the room. Focusing on them, she saw Dom and Neal beckoning her over, Neal's arms gesturing rather like a windmill while Dom pointed to an extra tray in between the two. Kel couldn't help but smile slightly at how ridiculous the two looked, and began making her way across the room towards them.

"Hello, Protector dear," Neal greeted her loftily as she reached the table. "How fares thee?"

"Thee fares quite well, thankyou," she told her friend, amused. Dom moved over slightly to create a bigger gap between the two cousins, she slid into the spot, the usual humiliation surfacing at the sight of Dom._ Mithros, I can't believe I was wearing his breeches._ The memory of that morning made her flush slightly in the cheeks, and she made herself snap out of it.

"Excellent," replied Neal, shoving some cake into his mouth eagerly. "Simply excellent."

Kel wasn't sure whether he was referring to the food or her state of wellbeing. Either way... "Vegetables first, Neal. No dessert if you can't eat your vegetables."

Neal scowled at her as Dom grinned. "Hey Kel," he directed his smile at her, and she forced herself to meet his blue gaze squarely.

"Hi," she said calmly, and began to eat her food, focusing on the taste of the meal. It was silent for several seconds, and Kel knew that this was too good to be true when one was sitting with Neal. She was correct.

"Eugh," Neal groaned loudly. "These green things are _foul_."

"Do you object to the colour, dear cousin?" asked Dom mockingly. "Is it the green that you dislike?"

Neal, considering, took another bite. "Do you know," he said thoughtfully. "I think you might be right. Green is a rather... Well it's just a bit..." He trailed off, lost for words.

"Funny," Dom said wickedly. "Your eyes are green. Quite green."

His cousin choked on his vegetables and shot Dom a furious glare, Kel looked on, hiding a small, amused smile.

"At least my eyes aren't blue," Neal spat indignantly. "Blue, the colour of... the sky. And donkey dung."

"Donkey dung isn't blue," argued Dom firmly. "It's a kind of brown-y grey... Besides, my eyes are amazing. Everyone says they're my best feature."

Kel couldn't help but silently agree with this. Dom _did_ have nice eyes, despite the fact that she didn't want to spend her time dreaming about them.

"Yes, well, as for your features, there's not really much choice," said Neal sarcastically. "My eyes, however, actually _are_ quite incredible. I've been told this several hundred times by various women."

Dom snorted loudly. "Oh, of course you have, Meathead. I would bet that everyone thinks that my eyes are _much_ nicer than yours. Blue over green any day."

There was a short silence while Neal struggled to swallow a large chunk of cake that he had just shoved into his mouth.

"Well, dearest of cousins," Neal said sweetly. "I believe we have a way to find out whose eyes are better."

Dom raised an enquiring eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yes," Neal confirmed, accompanying his words with a sweeping Player's gesture. "For we have our lovely and dear Keladry here to decide for us!"

Kel froze, a chunk of bread halfway up to her mouth, eyeing both cousins with some alarm. "Me?"

"Yes, you," said Neal airily. "Well, my dear, what will it be? Green or blue? Grass or donkey dung? Knight or King's Own man? Intelligent man or ridiculous fool? Best friend, page sponsor and right hand, or _him_?" The last word was accentuated by a dismissive wave of the hand at Dom.

Kel found herself utterly lost for words. "Well..."

"Me, of course," Dom insisted smoothly. He was gazing at her from one side. "Blue."

Neal leant over from the other side and widened his eyes in a distinctly intimidating manner. "Me. Green."

"Erm," Kel said desperately. "I'm sure you both have very nice eyes!"

"Mine are significantly larger than his," pointed out Dom cheerily. "And a much nicer colour. Also, I think that I have longer lashes. And more variant of colour in the blue bit."

Kel couldn't help it, she looked into Dom's eyes. They were a nice colour, sapphire blue with lighter bits and flecks of gold near the centre...

She forced her eyes away, and glanced at Neal, only to find that he had shoved his face very close to hers. "Green," he practically bellowed into Kel's face, globules of spit showering her.

"Queenscove," a crisp voice interrupted. "What folly are you up to _now_?"

Slowly, Kel, Dom and Neal all turned to gaze up in faint dread at the figure now overshadowing their table.

"A small matter of eye colour, m'lord," Neal greeted Lord Wyldon with an all too delighted grin. Kel elbowed him under the wood, intending to stop his cheek before it started. "I don't believe you've met my lovely cousin," Neal continued. He waved his hands flamboyantly in Dom's general direction. "Domitan of Masbolle, my Lord Wyldon."

Dom stood, bowing his head at the older man. "M'lord."

Wyldon nodded at him, and Kel was surprised to notice a look of intense suspicion in his hard, dark eyes. "Masbolle. I've heard of you."

"Really?" Neal interjected brightly. "All terrible things, I'm sure."

Wyldon's flinty eyes never left Dom's face. "Many things. None of the least of them that you intend to wed Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan in five days."

"That is correct, sir," Dom's gaze flicked down to Kel and, to her surprise, he shot her a reassuring smile.

"My congratulations to you both," Wyldon replied, even more stiffly than ever. "If I might speak to Keladry for a moment?"

Neal's eyes widened in alarm and he looked as though he was going to say something. Kel kicked him under the table and stood, bowing her head as she did so. "Of course, m'lord."

Wyldon led the way towards the mess hall doors and Kel followed, attempting to hide her curiousity. What could Lord Wyldon possibly want to speak to her about? Nothing about New Hope, surely, since she had been dismissed as its commander- at least, she hoped not. If he had news to give her, it probably wasn't good.

He stopped just outside the doors, shutting them firmly behind them, and turned to face her, his clean shaven jaw set tightly. "I hear that you intend to get married."

"Yes, m'lord," Kel was even more confused. How could her upcoming marriage possibly interest or affect Lord Wyldon? She gazed at the ground, feeling once again like an unruly page, standing in Lord Wyldon's office. "_I fell, sir..." _She repressed a faint smile at the memories.

"Look at me, Keladry," she was surprised at the odd gentleness in his tone. Slowly, she brought up her eyes to meet his own. "Is this of your own free will?"

Kel was stunned. Lord Wyldon, the Stump, how had he ever seen past their act? She'd thought that they'd been doing well, having deceived the public as to their affections for each other. She fumbled for words, and ended up with a sentence that sounded distinctly like one of her page techniques of avoiding the question. "Not entirely, m'lord."

"I thought as much," Wyldon affirmed. "For Mindelan, then? An arranged marriage?"

Kel could barely bear to meet his eyes. Hadn't he been the one to tell her to return to her life as a noble when she'd been on probation? Hadn't he wanted her to go back to doing sewing and embroidering and other ladylike arts even as she'd been trying to control Peachblossom and use her weighted lance? But now, she felt his disappointment wash over her like summer rain. "Yes, m'lord."

Wyldon was silent for a moment. "I hope that this does not mean that we will be losing a valued knight to the realm."

"I hope not, m'lord," Kel replied, forcing her mask to hold. She hadn't discussed this with Dom, but she felt fairly sure, as her _friend_, he would let her continue being a knight. She couldn't help but recall Dom's earlier words- how long ago that felt!- _"Your mother didn't tell you the last bit of the agreement, did she? The bit where it says that we have to have children."_

She felt herself sink inside. But surely, children would not have to be for several more years- unless Felicity had that planned, unbeknowst to her or Dom. And surely, even if there were... children, she could still fight, as Lady Alanna had done?

Another surprise. She felt Lord Wyldon's hand clasp her on the shoulder gently. "I wish you all the best, Lady Knight. May your marriage be happy and your knightly duties prevail."

And with that, he strode briskly off down the corridor, leaving Kel leaning against the wall, his words still burning within her.

* * *

Dom sought Kel out after he had given his tray back to the servants. He was curious to know what Lord Wyldon had had to say to her, and was also eager to share his news with her. He _thought_ it was good news, although he was not quite sure what she would make of it.

He found her walking on the grass outside the palace, down the sloping rise to the stables.

"Hey," Dom ran to catch up with her, then slowed to match her strides with his. "Where are you going?"

"For a ride with my mother," Kel replied absently. "I haven't spent much time with her lately."

"That should be nice," said Dom sincerely. He struggled for words for a moment, trying to find a polite, non-nosy-sounding way of asking what Lord Wyldon had wanted with her. "So, erm... did m'lord Wyldon have any news for you?"

To his surprise, Kel stopped abruptly in the middle of the grass and whirled to face him, her hazel eyes somehow larger than usual. "What's going to happen to us?"

Dom gazed at her in puzzlement. "What do you mean?"

"Me," Kel corrected herself, doing absolutely nothing to ease Dom's confusion. "What's going to happen to me after we're married? Am I to continue being a knight, or what am I going to have to do?"

Frowning across at her, Dom was utterly baffled as to why she seemed to think that this was _his_ choice. "You can continue to be a knight if you want to be a knight. Or you could follow your true calling of, I don't know, garden sculpting or something?"

"Garden sculpting," Kel repeated, and he was relieved to see her lips twitch up slightly at the corners. "You really think that's my true calling?"

They resumed walking and Dom forced himself to shoot her a sideways, teasing grin. "How should I know, most excellent Protector? If that is what you wish to spend your life doing..." He swallowed hard, floundering for a way to tell her his news. Luckily, she made it easy for him.

"What are _you_ going to do? After we're- married?"

Dom licked his lips nervously. "Well," he began, hesitating for a moment. "I've been offered a position."

Kel was silent, waiting for him to continue.

"Captain Flyndan has resigned as Third Company's captain, and Lord Raoul is re-structuring the Own so that he becomes a kind of... half-commander. He wants to spend more time with Buri and raise a family but the King convinced him to stay on as Commander. So he's created a kind of senior captain position, that one can be married to do... and he offered it to me."

He was staring at the ground, waiting with some worry for Kel's response, when she startled him by touching his arm lightly. "Congratulations," she said softly. "You'll be good at it."

Some part of Dom wanted to scream at this. "I haven't accepted it yet. It will mean that I'll travel a lot."

Kel merely nodded.

"I won't be home much," Dom confessed, glancing across at her to gauge her reaction to this. Her expression was unreadable, she nodded again.

"You should take it," she told him gently. "It would suit you."

A mad urge to stamp his feet and scream, rather as he had seen small children do, grasped Dom. He repressed it with some difficulty, wishing intensely that Kel would say something- something- to give him even a hint that she still held her old feelings for him. He'd basically just told her that he would barely ever be home with his new Senior Captain position and she had responded by telling him that that was fine. Surely... surely if she still had _those_ kinds of feelings for him she would say something, anything. Even if it was just a simple "I'll miss you." But nothing- he had indeed been correct in his surmising of the situation. Kel had no feelings left for him after what he had done.

Dom lifted his head up again, firmly decided. "I think I will take it. I need to see Lord Raoul before the dinner bell then. I'd better be on my way. Goodbye, Kel." He spun to sprint off up the palace hill.

Kel turned her head to watch him go, faint confusion filling her. It was just after midmeal; why would he be in such a hurry to see Lord Raoul before the _dinner_ bell, then? She shook her head, forcing thoughts of Dom out of her mind, and instead focused on the fact that, as far as Dom was concerned, she could continue being a knight.

* * *

When Kel reached the stables her mother was not yet there. She saddled Peachblossom, offering him an apple as she did so, and led him out to the grass so that he could snack while they were waiting. Peachblossom lipped the front of her shirt, leaving a grassy, slobbery stain, and Kel wrinkled her nose at him.

"What was that for?" she asked him, unable to suppress a smile at her horse.

"What was what for?" came a melodic voice from behind Kel. Kel turned to face her mother, a smile lighting up her face.

"I was talking to Peachblossom, Ma," she said solemnly. Her mother appeared to have already saddled her own mount, Yoru, who was a very dark coal colour.

Ilane of Mindelan returned the smile as she swung herself, wearing the loose, long trousers of the Yamani women, into Yoru's saddle. "And why not."

Kel followed suit, mounting Peachblossom, who turned his head as she did, eyeing Yoru in a manner that Kel knew all too well. "Behave," she told him firmly. Peachblossom swung his long neck to look at her innocently.

"Where shall we go?" Ilane asked as both nudged their mounts into a walk. Peachblossom, Kel discovered, appeared to be in one of his moods- meaning that he constantly turned his head sideways to try and nip Yoru.

"Maybe into the Royal forest?" suggested Kel, poking Peachblossom in the neck with one finger. He snorted loudly.

Ilane nodded in content agreement and they continued to ride, talking pleasantly as they went. Kel couldn't help but notice that Ilane avoided the topic of her upcoming marriage, not mentioning it once. It was too good to be true, she thought bitterly. And sure enough the topic did eventually come up.

"I don't mean to upset you," said Ilane carefully, looking across at her daughter. Kel nodded, keeping her face Yamani calm. "But as we both know, it is Tortallan custom for the father of the bride to walk her up the aisle."

Kel sighed softly. She missed her father more than she could say, and it was painful to realise that he wouldn't be there for her when she was getting married. But Kel was not someone who lived in the past, letting her misery drown her. "I know."

Ilane watched her daughter. "Your father can't do that for you. And as much as I know he wanted to watch his youngest daughter get married, he would be pleased for you if you picked someone else to walk you up instead."

Kel bit her lip to stop tears from overflowing out of her eyes and swallowed several times to make sure that her voice was steady. "You, mama?"

Her mother smiled gently. "As much as I would love to, I think it should be a man. It's custom, and I want to help you get ready and watch."

"You think I should ask someone?" Kel fiddled with the reins in her hands.

"If you would like to," Ilane told her quietly. "If you have no one whom you think you would like to ask, of course I will walk with you."

Kel considered it in silence for several moments, and then nodded, her mind made up. "I think I have someone who I would like to ask."

"That will be lovely, then," Ilane reached across to pat her daughter on the shoulder, and realised that, on Peachblossom, Kel was both taller than her and too far away to touch. "Oh, curse it, I keep forgetting that you don't ride a three foot pony any more!"

* * *

Later that afternoon, Dom knocked on the door of Lord Raoul's study gently, and then loudly, when there was no reply. "M'lord?" he called.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder, and he jumped in shock, only to turn and face the Giantkiller himself. "M'lord, where did you learn to sneak up so quietly?"

"I don't look it," Raoul told him cheerfully. "But I'm light on my feet. Like a dancer."

Snorting at the image, Dom followed Raoul as he opened the door of his study and walked in. The place, Dom noticed with amusement, was a mess. Papers and old food trays stacked up in the corners and all over the desk. Raoul picked up a pile of papers sitting on his chair, read the title, and scowled. "Jon had better not expect me to do anything about this anytime soon."

Dom perched on the edge of the desk, one of the only clear places in the room, and waited for an indication to begin.

Raoul dropped the papers on the floor and looked at Dom knowingly. "I assume that you are here for more than a friendly visit- Senior Captain? May I call you Senior Captain?"

Dom couldn't hide the spreading grin that threatened to dominate his whole face. It was the first thing in several days that had made him smile like this. "You may, m'lord. If you're still offering me the position, that is."

The larger man stood and clapped Dom on the shoulder soundly. "Indeed I am. Welcome back to the Own, Dom."


	16. Ch 16: Purple

**A/N: I have the next chapter written already... aren't I greedy, holding it back? **

**Chapter 16: Purple**

**... 5 DAYS ...**

It was late afternoon by the time that Kel, having had to change her tunic and breeches after Peachblossom had gotten a little too friendly, headed off purposefully down an all too familiar corridor. She was deep in thought, wondering how exactly to ask him, when she found that she was approaching another person, their position very similar to her previous one- head bent to look at the ground, eyes far away.

"Dom?" she asked curiously.

He lifted his dark head, surprised, and smiled at her, but it seemed somewhat forced, even to her eyes, which were trying not to focus on him for very long. "Hello, Kel. How was your ride?"

"It was good, thanks," Kel replied, puzzled as to why Dom would be down this end of the palace. Then it clicked. "Oh- did you accept the position?"

"I did," Dom confirmed, but there was no joy in his blue eyes at this. Kel frowned inwardly, wondering why _he_ seemed so... un-Dom like. She felt her cheeks heat up suddenly- of course, how could she be so stupid? He probably still felt awkward being around her after she'd drunkenly told him how she felt. She couldn't look at him, finding every crack in the floor to observe. "Even got a new armband with it."

She knew somehow that this was an attempt at a joke, but his flat tone made it fall short. She forced an easy smile and glanced up at Dom's bicep, seeing that his new armband denoting his rank was a bright, royal blue that set well against his tanned skin, the silver circle with the star in its centre denoting his new rank. "I've never seen that one before."

"It's new," he fingered it self-consciously, staring down at it. "M'lord had it made, apparently it's some kind of Senior Captain badge."

Kel, despite her turmoil of feelings for Dom, hated this new, odd, sad note in Dom's voice. She grinned up at him, making her whole face show the smile. "Congratulations, Senior Captain Domitan of Masbolle."

He glanced up at her, blue eyes lighting up for a moment. "Thankyou, Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan."

_Of Mindelan... Not for long_, she almost said, but stopped herself abruptly.

There was a slight pause before either of them spoke, Kel again looking away while Dom adjusted his new armband. "Off to see Lord Raoul?" he asked eventually.

Kel nodded in response. "I thought... I thought that I'd ask him to walk me up the aisle."

Understanding dawned on Dom, and he lifted steady blue eyes to gaze into her face. "I think that's a good idea."

Somewhat comforted by his acceptance of this, Kel nodded, and went to move on. "I'd better go, before it's dinner. See you."

Dom gave her another grin, the feel of it on his lips rather like having a nasty toothache. "See you at dinner." He watched Kel's back as she moved away for a moment or two, and then shook his head, sighing softly, and continued his walk back to his rooms.

* * *

Kel tapped on Lord Raoul's study door. "Come in!" came a familiar bellow. She grinned and opened the door to discover Raoul, as large and bulky as ever, sitting at his desk, screwing up various papers only to lob them at a small bucket near the door. One went too far, and Kel caught it neatly, dropping it into the bucket.

The Giantkiller raised one dark eyebrow. "Well, well. If it isn't the realm's only Lady Knight."

Kel sat on the paper-covered chair that he indicated to. "It's very... papery in here, sir."

Raoul grinned, his black eyes dancing. "Yes, well. That's what happens. All this paper builds up when you do nothing about it. But enough discussion on the state of my study, you insubordinant knight! What can I do for you?"

Swallowing nervously, Kel went straight to the point. "I'm getting married in five days, sir. It's custom for the father of the bride to walk her down the aisle. I was wondering...", here she gulped again, not entirely sure of what she was afraid of, but feeling anxious nonetheless, "I was wondering if you would do me the honour, since my father is not here."

She glanced up to meet his eyes, and saw a gentle expression cross his large, tanned face. "It would be my pleasure, Kel. I'm honoured that you would ask me."

Kel smiled and, once again, forced back hot tears. "Thankyou, sir."

"For the last time," Lord Raoul sighed heavily, subtly handing her a large handkerchief in Goldenlake green and gold, "call me Raoul."

* * *

Kel was one of the first to dinner, she frowned in confusion, but, realising that the dinner bell hadn't actually rung yet, shrugged and got a tray anyway, finding a quiet table in a corner to sit at. She was soon joined by Owen, Merric, Seaver and Faleron, who were all wearing grins far too large for her comfort.

She raised her eyebrows at them all. "What _have_ you all been doing?"

Seaver burst into loud laughter. "Mother can always tell when we've been up to something," he teased Kel, who rolled her eyes at him.

"Wait and see," Owen's eyes were dancing. "You'll see what we did soon. It was jolly."

Kel returned to her plate of food, feeling distinctly nervous at this. However, she didn't have to wait long before she found out what exactly the knights had been up to.

Dom and Neal strode into the mess hall, side by side, and this made it particularly obvious that both men were sporting what looked to be... _purple skin_. Their faces, necks and what was visible of their arms were all a rather vivid shade of royal purple.

The knights around Kel dissolved into laughter, while the rest of the room stared on in apparent shock. Wolset, sitting at a table with the rest of Third Company, began cackling loudly, and that was what sent the whole room into loud, vocal amusement at Neal and Dom's state.

Kel giggled softly, and then forced a stern look on her face, turning to look at Owen, Merric, Faleron and Seaver. "Why did you do that to them?"

"Neal, because he's always annoying," Merric informed her happily. "And he just deserves it, for the last ten years."

Kel couldn't really disagree with that.

"Dom," Seaver shoved a whole carrot into his mouth and crunched it thoughtfully. "Well, Dom, just because he's marrying you. He needs some kind of initiation."

The whole table erupted into laughter again and Kel couldn't help but join in. Neal and Dom stomped towards them all, both wearing identical scowls, their dark eyebrows drawn together in fury.

"Well, well," Neal drawled, shoving into a gap on the bench between Merric and Faleron. He slung his purple arms around the two of them. "It's a shame that this stuff rubs off slightly, isn't it?"

Merric and Faleron attempted to jerk away, but Neal had them firmly headlocked and was rubbing his arms and hands vigorously on any part of their faces, necks and arms that he could.

Dom stood to the side, chuckling softly as he held his tray. Owen slid away from Kel slightly so that there was enough room, and Dom nodded thanks at him as he sat down.

"Oh," Kel said in mild alarm, sliding away a little. "You really didn't have to sit there."

Even though he knew that she meant because he was covered in purple dye, Dom found that the words still stung. He hid it quickly by slinging an arm across Kel's shoulders affectionately, smirking. "Oh, really, Lady Knight? Is there something wrong?"

Kel cringed, her body reacting to both the closeness of Dom and the purple dye, while the rest of the table laughed. "Merric, Faleron!" she warned. "This stuff had better come off!"

"It _might_!" Owen said happily. "It was a jolly sort of purple dye that we bought!"

"Oh, charming," Dom helped himself to some food from his plate with his free hand. "I'm going to be purple for my own wedding?"

Even Neal burst into giggles at this image.

"If I'm to be purple for the wedding," said Dom, turning his head to face Kel, his expression serious. "Then you shall be too. We can match."

Kel, all too conscious of his arm around her shoulders, widened her eyes and continued with his joking act, settling into their usual public routine. "Me? I had nothing to do with this!"

"She's lying," Faleron said to Dom confidentially. "It was her idea."

"It was not!" protested Kel, indignant. "Don't listen to _him_!" As she stared at his face in what she hoped looked like a teasing manner, she couldn't help but notice that even his lips were purple.

The rest of the knights seemed to notice this at the same time.

"Good job," Faleron congratulated Seaver, slapping him on the shoulder. "You even made his lips purple!"

"It was a big bucket of dye," Seaver said modestly. "And I did tip the whole thing over him when he walked out his door."

Owen snickered with Faleron's smirk grew. "Say, Dom, how about you give Kel a kiss?"

Kel felt her insides curl with a mixture of horror, embarrassment and longing as Dom glanced over at her.

"No, that's okay," he tried for a charming grin. "Even I wouldn't wish purple lips on someone else."

Even as she sagged slightly in relief, and a faint twinge of hurt and disappointment, Seaver spoke up. "No, you know, I think Kel would look good with purple lips."

"That _would_ be quite jolly," Owen joined in.

"Come on," needled Merric. "Kiss her!"

"Yes!" the entire table practically yelled, Kel looked around in some horror to discover that several other people were looking over with interest. "Kiss her!"

Still Dom hesitated, and Kel closed her eyes momentarily in humiliation. Although both had become used to acting in public, they rarely had to go further than a touch of the hand of a kiss of the cheek- and Kel knew that even these small signs of affection made her want to crawl into a hole with embarrassment about her own feelings and Dom's act.

Neal watched, his green eyes sharp and concerned. He, of all people, was the only one who really knew the whole- and not even he knew the whole- truth about Kel and Dom, and therefore was the only one not urging them to kiss.

"Come on," Seaver jabbed Kel in the side with a long finger. "Not embarrassed, are we, Lady Knight?"

"_No_," Kel said quickly- she knew it was a little too quick and indignant even as she said it. "I just..."

"Do it!" insisted Faleron, his eyes dancing. "What, are you saving kissing for marriage?"

"Not the way she was all over him at their party," someone nearby, Kel wasn't sure who, muttered sarcastically. She felt her cheeks flame.

"Come on, Dom," Lerant yelled from across the room, and it was then that Kel realised just what a large audience they had attracted. Dread filled her. "Give her purple lips too!"

"YEAH!" bellowed Wolset and Fulcher in agreement. The rest of Third Company stood up and began clapping enthusiastically.

"Oh, Mithros," muttered Dom quietly, next to Kel. His arm had tensed slightly around her, she couldn't fail to notice that his jaw was set as well. She turned to look at him, resigning herself to the fact that they were going to have to do this, for the sake of their pretence.

Dom twisted his lips into a kind of smile, rolling his eyes at the crowd and finally flashing very white teeth in a bold grin. He waved his spare arm in a downwards direction, indicating for Third Company to be quiet, and leaned closer to Kel.

"Sorry," he whispered, almost imperceptibly, and then he pressed his lips gently against hers, pulling away quickly.

"Oh, come on, Senior Captain," drawled Lerant from across the room. "That was hardly a kiss. I kiss my mother more enthusiastically than you kiss your future bride!"

Catcalls and laughter broke out over the room even as Neal raised curious eyebrows at his cousin. "_Senior Captain_?"

"That's me," Dom said smoothly, removing his purple arm from around Kel, and standing up, despite the fact that his tray was still full. "Sorry guys, show's over!"

Even as he walked out of the mess hall, his back straight and his broad shoulders as strong as ever, Kel could practically feel the gossip rising up around them. Her shoulders slumped slightly and she bowed her head momentarily in shame.

* * *

**... FOUR DAYS ...**

"Charge," Kel whispered to Peachblossom, levelling her lead-weighted lance at the willow ring that blew and danced in the wind. Peachblossom broke into a full gallop and she aimed carefully for the ring with the tip of her weapon. With practiced ease, she flicked it as the lance went through, so that the string snapped and the ring slid down her lance to rest on her hand.

Kel smiled. She hadn't lost her skill with the lance, even without several months of practice. She relished the feeling of the weapon in her hand and the wind on her face as Peachblossom ran.

It was early afternoon, and Kel had spent the day pleasantly enough, first going for a run around the palace walls, tidying her room a little, and then continuing her lessons with Vera. Lalasa had sent a note to say that she would be up at the palace two bells after midday, for a dress fitting for Queen Thayet, and Kel wanted to take the chance to spend some time with her friend.

Sighing, she slid from Peachblossom's back onto the ground, and began leading him towards the stables for a groom. It was only then that she realised that she had gathered an audience, as they had done when they had all practiced as pages.

Lady Felicity, Lady Ilane, Vera and a still rather violet Dom leant against the fence, watching her with interest. She made herself smile and wave, not letting her eyes rest for long on Dom's face, which was wearing a distant expression. As she walked Peachblossom through the gate, the women approached her. Kel tightened her hold on Peachblossom's reins. _I am not letting you bite my future mother-in-law._ It was rather tempting to see what she would do if Peachblossom did bite her, but Kel wasn't sure exactly that she _wanted_ to see Lady Felicity's reaction to being bitten by a testy horse.

"Hi, Kel," Vera held out a hand to Peachblossom and Kel yanked him back just in time.

"Sorry," apologised Kel, glancing over to gauge Lady Felicity's facial expression. It was calm, almost scarily so. "He doesn't really get along with other people."

Ilane stepped forward to kiss both her daughter's cheeks. "You do well with your lance. No wonder you're always jousting."

Lady Felicity nodded her head in greeting to Kel, who smiled back, wondering why they were all out watching her practice. "Sorry," she said apologetically, looking at Peachblossom's now dirty coat. "I should really go and unsaddle and brush him."

"He's so _big_," Vera admired. "He must be strong."

To Kel's intense surprise and horror, Peachblossom chose to extend his neck slightly and lip the top of Vera's head. Lady Felicity winced visibly, while Vera softly giggled.

_Trust you to pick Vera of all people to befriend next,_ Kel thought grimly- but not without some amusement- to her horse.

"Walk," she said softly to him, and led him towards the stables, waving to the others as she went. It was then that Dom chose to break away from leaning over the fence and jogged towards her.

"Hi," he said, running a hand through his already dishevelled hair. Kel greeted him in a likewise manner.

They both walked into the stables, Dom slightly behind Kel, and Kel unsaddled Peachblossom swiftly, offering him a carrot while she began brushing him. Dom leaned one purple arm against the stall wall and observed this with apparent interest. He held out a tentative hand to the horse, and Kel didn't both pulling him back when Peachblossom struck. Dom jerked his hand out of the way just in time, and gave a faint grin.

"Still a testy pony," he observed, and the memory of the first time Kel had met Dom and Peachblossom had first tried to bite him made the corners of Kel's mouth lift up slightly.

There was silence, the sound of Kel's brushstrokes on Peachblossom the only sound for a while.

"I was wondering," Dom began suddenly. He stopped. "No actually, I wasn't wondering. _Vera_ was wondering, but she felt embarrassed to ask."

Kel glanced across at him curiously, running the brush down Peachblossom's neck. "What was she wondering?"

"She was wondering," continued Dom. "Well, it's her court presentation tonight. You see, they have a kind of tea with the King and Queen present and all the new ladies and younger men at court are introduced. They're allowed to bring three guests, and she was wondering if you would be one of them."

Kel was oddly surprised and touched at this. "Of course," she answered lightly. "I'll come. But doesn't she want someone else to go?"

Dom shrugged. "I'm going," he told her. "Mother's going. None of our other siblings are at court at the moment. She asked me to see if you would come."

Although honoured, Kel was also slightly confused. "Why didn't she ask me herself?" she wondered aloud.

Dom's very blue eyes met hers over Peachblossom's back. "She was _embarrassed_," he said quietly. "She didn't want to ask because she thought that you might think her a silly court lady."

Kel found herself stunned at this, halting brushing Peachblossom for a moment before she continued the rhythmic strokes. "I don't think that of her."

"I know," Dom tried for a charming grin. "So you'll come?"

Nodding, Kel spoke. "When is it?"

"Tomorrow at noon," said Dom ruefully. "Mother's not going to allow Vera to have a lesson. She'll be stuck getting ready all morning."

Kel looked at him for a moment, struggling between stiffness and amusement. "And you? Are you going to still be purple tomorrow?"

Dom choked slightly. "I think I'll be having a rather long bath tonight, _and_ tomorrow morning."

* * *

"M'lady!"

Kel grinned back at Lalasa, who was sitting on the windowseat inside Kel's room, waiting patiently. She appeared to be working on another sewing project, her hands busy with a length of fabric in her lap.

"How was the queen's dress fitting?" asked Kel, as she ran her hands through her slightly sweaty hair and sat, folding her legs under herself, on her bed.

"It went well," confessed Lalasa. "Her Majesty has commissioned me to make three dresses- one for the Yamani Emperor's visit, one for the Carthak ambassador's court presentation and one, well..." The girl smiled secretively even as Kel raised her eyebrows. "One is for m'lady's wedding."

Amusement filled Kel's face. "Really? The Queen's getting a new dress for my wedding? It's a bit late, isn't it?"

Lalasa giggled softly. "Of course not! There's still four days."

Kel leant over, smiling. "What's her dress going to look like?"

"I can't say," Lalasa teased her, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "It's a royal surprise."

Kel laughed even as Lalasa continued. "Your Domitan was down at my shop this morning, poor boy."

Eyeing her with some surprise, Kel was curious. "Really? What for?"

Her friend smiled. "He wanted me to make his wedding clothes. I told him I don't do men's wear!"

"What did he say?" Kel asked, wanting to know, despite herself.

"He looked a little sad," admitted Lalasa, carefully finishing the edge of her piece of material. "He told me that his mother was likely to have his head if he didn't have his wedding clothes by Wednesday."

Kel snorted in amusement. "He should have gotten on with it sooner, then."

"That he should have," Lalasa agreed. "He's certainly a _very_ handsome one, m'lady. A nice man too. And he's _yours_." Smiling as though this was important, Lalasa nodded vehemently.

Looking across at her former maid, Kel was surprised that she had observed such things. Previously, Lalasa, petrified of men as a whole, had had trouble talking to even Kel's page and squire friends. Now, it seemed, she had gained a whole new confidence. Kel was proud of her.

"That's why," continued her friend, snipping off a thread end neatly. "I told him I'd make his clothes."

Kel's eyes widened in surprise. "You did?"

"Yes," confirmed Lalasa cheerily. "I did."

"Do you know how to make men's clothes?" Kel asked doubtfully, trying to remember if she'd ever seen Lalasa making garments like that before. She supposed, Lalasa had made all of her breeches, tunics and shirts that had served her during training and now as a knight, and there couldn't really be much difference between those, could there?

"Of course," Lalasa flapped a hand at the other woman. "I make them all the time for-" She halted abruptly, her pretty, round cheeks flushing very red all of a sudden.

Kel seized this with some interest. "You do, do you? For who?"

Lalasa's cheeks were still very red. "He's a very nice boy. We step out together when we both have time."

"What's his name?" queried Kel, her hazel eyes dancing teasingly.

Lalasa wrung her hands in apparent nervousness; this only succeeded to make Kel even more curious. "He's a good one, m'lady, even if his family's not..."

A sudden suspicion plagued Kel. "Who is he?"

The red of Lalasa's cheeks spread to her ears. "Lerant of Eldorne," the girl practically whispered, her eyes glancing down at the ground.

Kel burst out laughing. Usually controlled, she held her sides as she laughed, mirth making her shake.

"M'lady?" Lalasa said disbelievingly, gazing at her with some alarm. "Are you alright?"

Kel made herself stop, breathing slowly and evenly. "Oh, Lalasa. Lerant will treat you well, I'm sure."

"You know him?" Now the other girl was confused.

"I rode with him for four years in the Own when I was squire to Lord Raoul," Kel confessed. "He's hard to forget. I'm happy for you."

"Thankyou, m'lady," Lalasa said softly. "If it weren't for you..."

Kel stopped her hastily by introducing a new subject. "Now," she frowned thoughtfully. "What does one wear to a court tea?"


	17. NOTE

**IMPORTANT NOTE - PLEASE READ**

Hi guys, I am really sorry for what I'm about to say. I know that I've started a lot of stories and I thank you all for being so patient while I slowly updated and continued them. Your reviews have been amazing and so encouraging.

I'm so sorry, but I've decided to leave fanfiction dot net, that is, to stop writing fanfiction altogether. I know a lot of my stories are unfinished but I hope that you enjoyed them nonetheless. If you're wondering why I am giving up fanfiction, it's just because I really feel that I need to change my priorities and get on track- I spend way too much time reading and trying to write fanfiction when I really need to focus on other things. I will miss writing and I will miss all the lovely and incredible reviews.

I am going to say, however, that I know a lot of people who read my stories are amazing writers. If you want to continue a story or base other stories off one of my stories or whatever, go ahead. I'm not planning on ever coming back to this. So feel free to do whatever you want- I am basically removing all of my ownership and copyright from my stories.

I was originally going to delete my account but I can't actually find a way to do that, so I'm just going to leave it but change my password to something random and get rid of my email address from it so that I don't get any notifications. I almost prefer it this way because it means that other people can still read my stories/oneshots if they want.

It's not that I didn't enjoy writing and reviewing and reading other stories, it's just that I really feel that I need to give it up and, well, 'get a life' ;)

Thankyou all so much for your support of my stories and I wish you all the best for your writing and reading. If you want to know what was going to happen in the end of my stories, I did actually have a plot for most of them... so if you want to read it you can read them below this note. Once again, my sincere apologies.

Cheers,

_Storm._

**WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN IN MY [incomplete] STORIES:**

**Arranged- **_continued from ch. 16: Purple_ Kel and Dom attended court tea at which Lady Felicity discovered a much older but very rich marriage prospect for Vera. Kel naturally was horrified at this while Dom also opposed the match. Vera met a boy a couple of years older than herself with a less rich fief that she is attracted to. Dom was going to lose his betrothal ring whilst practicing with Wolset, and he and Kel were going to spend the evening looking for it. They would find it and both would feel slightly more at ease with the other. Alyssa was going to visit Dom's rooms to invite Kel to her betrothal party. Dom was going to have to meet Kel's dragon of a grandmother (see Squire for mention). The wedding would then happen, and at the end, Queen Thayet and King Jonathon would present the newly married couple with a small fief as a reward for their services to the kingdom. The couple would then be forced to spend their 'wedding night' in the same room, during which Kel hears Dom sleep talk and becomes concerned about him. After several awkward days of marriage, Dom feels that he has to tell Kel how he feels, whether it ruins their marriage or not. However, he finds that he doesn't have to when Kel confronts him after she hears him say 'I love you' in his sleep. She wants to know who he was talking about, he hopes that she is jealous and finally admits his feelings, which leads to a much happier marriage. Felicity arranges Vera's betrothal to the rich, older man, and Vera has absolutely no desire to marry him. Kel and Dom step in and stand up to Felicity about Vera's match, when it becomes official they oppose it in court and both admit that their own marriage was arranged, but that it turned out for the best. Leads to revision of arranged marriage laws by the Crown. Story would have ended with a content Kel and Dom and Vera courting the younger boy that she met at the court tea.

**Behind These Hazel Eyes**- _was going to undergo a full rewrite._ : In the end the last chapter was not going to be a song but would simply contain Dom reconciling with Neal and confessing his mistakes. Neal would then seek out Kel and convince her to see Dom, who would explain but wouldn't expect to be forgiven. A year later, Kel would go to Dom and tell him that she forgives him, if he still feels the same way. Story would have ended with the two being happily together.

**Charm**- was going to be a simple comic Kel/Dom. Wolset and Neal would have played some amusing pranks whilst Dom and Kel would have had a good laugh over the fact that they were secretely together. Eventually, a year or two later, the two would announce their betrothal without ever publically revealing their relationship and everyone would be stunned.

**Feeding The Fire**- no particualar plan. Was just going to be angsty Katniss/Peeta then end being Katniss/Gale with flickers of the rebellion.

**The Storm Of The Vine**- was going to be a story of Tris finding her place in the world, and both her and Briar being confused over their feelings of attraction towards each other. Would have included Briar with another girl, Tris's jealousy, etc, then have ended with mutual confessions and a Tris/Briar pairing.

**After The Time Paradox**: **Tangles:** no particular plan. Classic defeat Opal, Artemis/Holly ending.

**Why, Hello- **Kel and Dom would have been forced to spend more time together for tutoring and school while flickers from Dom's difficult and broken past would have been revealed. Would have eventually built up to Dom changing around Kel but returning to himself at school, then when she confesses frustration at this he would have wanted to change for the better. Was originally meant to be a comedy Kel/Dom.

**I Do II-** Kel and Dom's marriage is originally happy until Kel meets Dom's handsome elder brother and realises that he is the man she almost slept with. She would confess this to Dom, who would be hurt and furious despite not telling Kel about his brief affair with Oranie. Major angst. Dom would eventually tell Kel about this, who in turn would be hurt and confused. In the end, Kel would discover that she is pregnant and this brings the two together again.

**You Belong With Me-** would have just followed modified song lyrics. More awkward moments, more jealousy, finally Dom breaks up with Cynthia and Kel asks why, he confesses that he was just trying to get over his own feelings for Kel. The two get together.

**ONESHOTS [that I never wrote but planned:**

**Flirt**

Summary: It's been two years since she'd been squire to Lord Raoul, and Kel decides that it is finally time to move on from Dom. However Dom may have other ideas.

**Transitions**

Summary: It was odd, her relationship with Dom. So... smooth. It seemed that one moment they'd been laughing together in the Own and the next they were getting married.

**Little Sister**

Summary: Dom is sure that he only thinks of Kel as a little sister, and tells her as much.

**Letters to Juliet**

Summary: Dom is quite drunk, along with the rest of the Third Company, and Wolset, Lerant and Fulcher take it upon themselves to help him write a letter to his unknown lady love.

**Lady**

Summary: Dom opens the door for Kel, and Neal wonders why since she's not a lady. This leads to much argumentation from the two cousins as to Kel's femininity.

**Public Displays of Affection**

Neal discusses how disgusting he finds couples who are all over each other, and Dom takes it upon himself to demonstrate with the nearest woman- who just so happens to be Kel.

**Favours**

Summary: Kel is jousting and Dom decides to give her a favour for luck.

**Lacking In Sublety**

Summary: A series of oneshots. What if Kel/Dom/any other character just said plain out what they were thinking at particualar moments in the books?


	18. Surprise? Good or bad, you decide

**... Yeah ok, don't shoot me guys! Basic gist of all this is: new account (Katia22) u/4459658/Katia22... Guilty return of neglectful author, probably no progress until end of 2013-early 2014! So don't get too pumped or infuriated or whatever you're feeling right now. Comprendas? Profile explains more, in case you're too lazy to visit it I'll post it here ;) :**

**"**... Greetings world of fanfiction! I know that, since I haven't written anything on this account, no one cares and no one will probably read this. But that's quite ok, because I'm waiting. Waiting for December 2013 and the freedom that it will bring, meaning that I will once again be able to write.

Maybe someone picked up on those key words. "On this account". So possibly some of you know me already, as . ( u/1692821/you-just-got-STORMed). Yep, I used to hang around on here a fair bit until I decided to force myself to focus more on my studies and my life itself as I felt that I was slipping out of who I wanted to be and losing track of my goals. But my dears, here's the thing- balance is the key, and I genuinely want to write again. So here I am, back again, crawling on my hands and knees and hoping that you'll still read my stuff, even if I did abandon you about two years ago with a lot of unfinished stories.

So. I'm going to write again. Whilst my other account still exists and I did manage to get back into it again, I'd rather make a fresh start with this one. So I'll gradually (and very slowly) be transferring stories- but ONLY my Protector of the Small fics, none of my Artemis Fowl, Twilight, Obernewtyn, etc. fanfics- and editing them as they go. You will probably see a lot of major changes, as I now go back through my work grimacing and clutching my head at, well, almost everything. But hey, everyone has to start somewhere, and in a few years time I'll probably log-in and almost die of humiliation at what my writing is like now. But I'm definitely looking forward to playing around with this stuff again.

This certainly won't be a fast process though! I have my last year of school to finish, which includes some pretty major exams, assessments and even a massive creative writing piece. I'm excited about this but also just wishing it was over already. So I might get around to a little bit of editing over the next few weeks but it won't be much, if any. I miss getting reviews and readers though, and I must say, thanks heaps guys for all of the reviews you gave me at the end and even to some people who sent me nice goodbye messages! Cheers, cause you're my encouragement and I'm fairly sure that without this site I wouldn't have had the guts to pick up my creative writing subject this year.

Anyway, I'm probably boring you with all of this drivel because the fact is, none of it matters. I hope to see some of you around again reading my stories and I'd love to read some of yours!

- Katia (aka . )."

**Cheers for reading guys. Apologies for leaving the first time and again now- but this time I can see the end and I'm promising I'll be back, hopefully as a better writer ;)**


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